Behind Closed Doors
by Vash's Girl
Summary: [RS, LS, CL] The burning, mindnumbing pain of secrets, the touch of warm fingertips gliding over bare skin in the dark. A dark, caressing whisper, hot breath ghosting along an ear. Lock the door, throw away the key.
1. Tell Me You're All Mine

****

Disclaimer: I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_. I really wish I did, though…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Vash's Girl: Well, here it is…**coughs** Please enjoy. I know I did. 

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter One

Hot lips traveling down a throat, suckling and nibbling, eliciting delighted mewls and whimpers. Fingers curled in silver hair, sapphire blue eyes closed. Cinnamon brown hair fell back off a forehead as a head tilted back, giving even more access to the throat than before. 

The lips traveled up to his earlobe, teeth delicately took it between them. A light little nibble, a tongue snaking out slowly, drawing another delightful sound, this time more between a mewl and a hoarse moan. 

The hands of the owner of those marvelous lips traveled down over his stomach, thumbs spreading up, then over his ribcage, then moving lower. His shirt was un-tucked, and then the hands were sliding slowly up his skin, and what muscles he had accommodated over the few months rippled like silk over rock. 

As the hands continued their upward journey, bringing the shirt with it, the jacket already having been discarded of, he lifted his arms. The lips left, drawing a sound of utmost protest and a chuckle from his tormentor—but was it really torment? 

One of the hands slipped down, between his legs, cupping the erection there, squeezing gently, thumb adding delicious pressure over the fabric of his pants. They were tight around that area. 

He groaned, sagging a little, the shirt slipping free from him easily, and then the hand was gone. 

Yes…Definitely torment. 

"You're mine…" Teeth sank into his neck, making him yelp and arch up. This must have been the desired effect, for the slender, gloved hands cupped his bottom and pulled him against the other. A tongue darted out, smoothing over the skin, and then the teeth were back again, nipping gently. Oh, there was sure to be a bruise there later…

"You did this to yourself, Sora," breathed the other, the hands leaving his bottom and fisting into his hair. The warm breath on his neck caused shivers to go down his spine. "You shouldn't have agreed to stay with me. You shouldn't have shared that paopu with me." 

"Riku…" Hips pressing against his, grinding, causing him to mewl again, his eyes to slide closed. "Riku, I—" The hands on his ass again, pressing him once more against that firm, muscular body that radiated warmth and at the same time darkness. "Nnn…" 

"Mine." It was said in a chant. "Mine." Nips up his jaw. "Say it. Say it now." 

Sora's lips parted a little, his breathing growing hitched. "Y-Yours…" he mumbled through a haze. "All yours…" 

*~*~*~*~*

Sora awoke to the darkness of his room. Which was in his house in the Second District of Traverse Town. He mumbled a little, curling around his pillow, cinnamon brown hair falling into his sapphire eyes. He closed them, giving a little sigh, fingers digging into the lumpy thing he held onto. 

_Another dream…Riku's gonna wind up killing me if he keeps this up, _Sora thought. 

It had all started before his adventure had begun, actually. That night…Before darkness had come to the island and taken Riku—though he went willingly—and Kairi away—though her heart was inside his the whole time. Riku had snuck into his room, a paopu fruit in his hand, a mischievous gleam in his aqua green eyes. He had said something about Sora sharing it with him, so in case anything ever happened or they got separated, they'd still wind up finding each other again because their destinies would be twined—forever. Sora had seen the point of it all, and had shared that paopu fruit with Riku. 

Now…Three years later….Riku had begun invading his dreams at night. At first, Sora had, of course, resisted, horrified at the prospect of what Riku was trying to do to him. Then, after a week or so, Sora had finally given in just that night. And Riku had left. Just when things were actually getting good…

Sora rolled onto his back, sighing. He knew it was Riku. It had been too real to be a dream. Somehow, the silver-haired boy was contacting him from Kingdom Hearts. Maybe the only way to do it was from Sora's subconscious. So how come he had been silent all these years, and now suddenly Riku begins making appearances? Did that mean he was coming back? In a way, Sora hoped so, but in another, he didn't…

_If he manages to get here, anyway…_Sora thought with a slight frown, staring up at the dark ceiling. _When we finally found King Mickey, he said that Riku had been left at Kingdom Hearts to seal it off until the time came to where he could leave…Somethin' about wanting King Mickey to go ahead and tend to his kingdom before anything bad happened. And I…I chose to stay here in Traverse Town while Goofy and Donald went back with King Mickey. And Kairi's somewhere on Destiny Islands…I haven't seen her in so long…_

Do I really want to? It's not like I could if I wanted…The boundaries are up. The only people keeping me company are Yuffie, Leon, Aerith, and Cloud. And sometimes Cid. Those five managed to get here…For that, I'm glad. 

He blushed at the thought of Leon. Leon was so gorgeous, but he also had tendencies to be cold-hearted. Sora knew it wasn't Leon's fault, not really, but gods…It only made the leather-clad man more desirable. That dark brown hair, that scar that spoke of things in his past that made it all eerie, those slim hips. And those leather pants did nothing to hide the fact that he had a great ass, either. 

Sora rolled onto his stomach with a sigh, arms to the side of him, legs kicking the covers halfway off his legs, halfway off the bed. He pouted a little. Sora was only seventeen, Leon was older…There was no way Leon would show any interest in him like that. Besides, he had given up long ago. It hadn't taken long for Sora to figure out he was gay, that was for sure. Sora wasn't exactly sure he was happy with this knowledge, but…Hey, he couldn't help what he was. 

Cloud was another nice prospect. Gosh…Sora had developed a crush on him the moment he had seen Cloud walk past in the Coliseum. Those strange, blue eyes that had bored hard into his, that red cape whipping around him, the wind rustling his spiky, blond hair. His expression, from what he could see of it, had been grim. Unapproachable. Just like Leon. 

Sora sighed, and this caused his bangs to flutter up a little, then settle across his forehead again. He was wearing only his boxers, a pair—he was happy to say—Leon had picked out for him with some other birthday gifts. Sora didn't know whether to take that as a hint or not, but…

He grinned a little, blushing at the prospect of that, and curled in a bit. Leon, buying him boxers and as a way to come onto him. Hey, Sora wouldn't exactly reject the offer, either, now would he? Nope! Sora was A-okay with that…

Maybe that was the reason he was so scared of what Riku was doing to him. Sora was the shy, timid type, and he didn't really have much experience in the sex department, if you caught his drift. Kissing and everything was okay, but Riku had suddenly given him all new experience on things he had only dreamed about…Was that why he was so nervous? That, and he had been sure Riku had liked Kairi, and that he and Riku were best friends…Now, quite abruptly, Riku liked him, too? Or had he liked him all along? 

Sora groaned, thoughts melding together again, and it caused a headache to begin forming once more. He sat up, what was left of the covers on the bed falling to his waist a little, then slipping off the bed completely. He raised his hands, scrubbing them over his face, and then into his hair. Yawning, he managed to stumble through the dark over to the light. 

It was blinding at first—lately, Sora had spent a lot of his time up in his room, in the dark, contemplating on Riku and Leon and Cloud and gods knew who else—but after he had squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them slowly, he was okay. 

The door opened then, and Leon stuck his head in…Because Sora was sharing a house with him. Had been for three years now. 

Leon was dressed only in his leather pants this morning, pretty much leaving his finely chiseled chest and dark, shaggy hair in full view. He was barefoot, and his stormy gray eyes were a bit glazed, as if he was still tired from waking up at the crack of what would be considered dawn in Traverse Town. 

He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes focusing on Sora. They grew more alert at the sight of the half-asleep boy, looking lost and puzzled. He sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "Are you okay?" he asked in his usual, deep monotone voice. "What's going on? I think it's hardly necessary to be up at this time of the morning…Haven't we gone through this before?" 

Sora grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Leon." Leon had told him several times before to call him Squall, but Sora had never really…been able to, he supposed. Maybe it was because he knew the man as Leon and not as the Squall Leonhart that had been off in better days with Rinoa Heartilly before she had died. 

He grunted. "Dreaming again?" 

Sora blinked, halfway to the bathroom already. He nearly fell over as he lost concentration on his balance, and he quickly straightened. "…How'd…?" 

"The walls are thin, Sora." Leon rolled his eyes. "Though the dreams must be interesting if you keep on mewling like that." He straightened and closed the door softly behind him. 

Sora blinked after him, then started blushing furiously. Oh, _how _embarrassing…

He sighed, letting it go for now—he was only going to wind up blushing more if he kept on thinking about it—he walked into the shower, mind now on the dream he had had last night. He had given himself over to Riku…Said he was all his. Did that mean what he thought it meant? 

Fifteen or so minutes later, he came out of the shower, satisfied. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he headed into the kitchen, intent on getting a glass of orange juice and then heading back into his room for a while where he would contemplate some more. It's not like Leon would care, anyway. Leon was always off, either training by himself or sticking with his other friends or staying in his room, as well. It irked Sora a little—but he wasn't going to stop a tradition of three years just because he wanted Leon to get a little closer to him. 

To his surprise—which he didn't have time to bother hiding, though why would he want to, anyway?—Leon was leaning against the kitchen table, still half-dressed, arms folded over his chest. When Sora stepped into the kitchen, Leon's eyes landed on his with such intensity it sent a tingle down Sora's spine. 

Sora ignored the look, wondering what Leon was glaring at him for, and moved to brush past him, as the refrigerator was on the other side of the kitchen. When a slender hand was placed on his shoulder, however, he stopped. 

"What is it, Leon?" Sora sighed. 

Leon's hand gave a rare, reassuring squeeze. "I'd ask if you've been having nightmares, but it doesn't seem like it…Yet you keep on mentioning Riku. There's where I'm concerned." Leon turned Sora to face him, glancing over his shoulder at him. "Is there something you wanna talk about? If it deals with Riku, maybe you shouldn't keep it to yourself. It could be dangerous." 

Sora found himself grinning, shrugging away Leon's concern, a mysterious twinkle in his eyes. "What if I told you it was dangerous, but not like you'd think?" he purred playfully.

Leon watched him for a few moments, then shook his head, rolling his eyes. "That was more information than I needed, Sora…Anyway, it's not giving you any trouble, is it?" 

Sora thought about that for a few moments, then shook his head, unruly hair swishing back and forth before settling again. His grin turned wolfish. "Why…Squall?" he chose, "You scared?"

"No. I'm not really scared of anything. But when you mewl the way you do…Sometimes it can be forced, you know?" 

Sora shrugged. "If it was forced, I wouldn't be mewling." He turned in the direction of the refrigerator again. 

He could feel Leon's gaze piercing into his back. "Are these dreams or reality?" 

"Ah…He comes to me in my dreams." Sora opened the door to the refrigerator. "But I don't mind." He gave a laugh. "At first I did, but now…" He trailed off meaningfully, knowing Leon would get the point. 

He withdrew with the orange juice, carrying it over to the table and setting it down. He was just about to go and get a glass, but something in Leon's icy eyes stopped him, making him falter. "What…?" A frown pulled at Sora's lips. "What is it, Leon?" 

Leon ran a hand through his hair, shifting his gaze to the ceiling. "Why?" 

"Huh? Why what?" 

"Why do you mewl? Most people…Groan or moan or…make sounds, but you…You sound like a cat." 

Sora grinned. "Curious, Leon?" he asked lightly. 

"I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't." Leon fixed a glare at him. 

Sora raised a hand. "Okay, okay…" He waved it a little, then made his way to the cabinets for a glass again. He stood on his tiptoes, reaching for it and stretching, thinking vaguely that they needed to wash dishes again since the last of the glasses were at the top. Leon and Sora had really been slacking this week…It had been a lazy one. 

He felt Leon's presence behind him, and then the leather-clad man was reaching around him and up. His fingers curled around the glass easily, and he set it before Sora, then rested both hands on the counter on either side of him. 

"L-Leon?" His cheeks were beginning to flame. _Don't…Please don't stand this close to me…_

"Sora." Leon's voice was quiet, but firm. Sora could feel his warm breath on the back of his neck. Goosebumps rose along his arms as his eyes closed a little. "Answer me." This time it was near his ear. His eyes glazed.

Sora turned in his arms, preparing a bright smile, shaking the feelings off. "What's gotten into you, Leon? So what? I mewl like a cat! Everyone makes their strange sounds, I—"

"Can I test that theory?" 

Sora blinked, unsure if he had heard properly, but he knew he had by the strange intensity in Leon's eyes. He nodded a little, heartbeat quickening, and waited for the other man to do something. 

Leon tilted his head a little to the side, then raised one of his hands, running the backs of his fingertips across Sora's cheek. Sora's eyes closed at the gentle gesture, his nerves on end. This is what he had wanted for a while now; hopefully this wasn't just some sort of…

Confident now, Leon raised his other hand, running it through Sora's hair and fisting gently at the last strands. He held Sora that way, pressed up against the counter, the hand at his cheek moving to Sora's hip. 

Sora opened his eyes slowly, swallowing. His pulse was frantic, no doubt. 

Cocking his to the side again, raising an eyebrow, Leon moved a knee, placing it between Sora's legs and pressing up gently, hand squeezing his narrow hip. This caused Sora to let out a soft mewl. His eyes closed a little as he waited for more of Leon's touch. 

Leon let his hair go, the hand on his hip falling away, and just when Sora was about to slump in disappointment, he was pressed against the firm, warm body of the older man, strong arms wrapped snugly around his waist. Sora's arms came up, grasping Leon's shoulders, and he nuzzled the man's neck, letting out another mewl. 

"You wanted to test a theory," Sora purred. 

"So I did…" Leon trailed off, then released Sora. He rustled the other's hair, then calmly reached behind him, picking up the glass and handing it to him. "Here. Have your orange juice. I need to go talk to Yuffie about groceries for next week. You know how she is when we don't check in with her on our bills." 

As he turned to head to his room, Sora reached out, grasping Leon's hand. The older man looked back at him, brow lowering and furrowing. 

"Was it really just curiosity or…" Sora swallowed, a ball of nerves resting in the pit of his stomach. "Or was it something more?" _Please let it be more, please, please, _please _let it be more…_

Leon hesitated for a moment, then took a step forward. He pressed a kiss to Sora's temple, then gave a rare, faint smile. "You figure it out." He turned and walked to his room, entering it and closing the door with a soft 'click'. 

Sora stared after him dreamily. 

_What are you doing!? _A hiss of rage at the back of Sora's mind and a loud ring that had him letting out a slight cry and falling to his knees. The air froze, as if all time had stopped, and Sora vaguely knew that it had. _Sora! You're mine now! You belong to no one else, _no one. _You're _mine. _You said it yourself! _

"I'm…I'm sorry," Sora gasped, hands fisting in his hair as pain racked through him. _I'm sorry! _

The pain released. _You had better not to do it again. Or you'll regret it when I see you again. _

The temperature picked back up, and all sense of flowing time came back, leaving Sora to slump in relief, his hands lowering to his lap. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Leon…?" 

It was lunch, and they were sitting at the kitchen table at their respective seats across from one another, chewing thoughtfully on their sandwiches and not really saying anything. They never did. Sora was keeping his distance, and Leon was keeping his. It was a mutual feeling. 

Leon glanced up, raising an eyebrow. "…What is it?" 

Sora fidgeted in his chair, then sighed, slumping a little, lowering his gaze. He clenched his hands together in his lap, knuckles turning white. "Leon, have you ever been in love with another guy before?" 

For a few moments, there was silence, and gods, it was _awful_. It seemed like _hours_, and this prospect finally caused Sora to look up, wondering maybe if Leon hadn't heard him or something—he _had _sort of mumbled it, after all. But no, Leon was watching him quietly, face expressionless. Finally, he went back to his sandwich and said with a tone of finality to his voice, "Yeah." 

"Really?" Leon nodded. Sora leaned forward. "Who?" he inquired, ignoring the tone. 

Leon sighed, deciding the cinnamon-haired boy wasn't going to let this go, and set down his sandwich. He turned his head a little to the side. "His name was…His name was Seifer Almasy. And…" He closed his eyes. "He was my rival." 

"Your rival?" Sora blinked curiously, tilting his head a little to the side. 

Leon nodded, then sighed, shaking his head, leaning back in his chair. "Yeah. We were always fighting. He wanted attention, I wouldn't give it to him, in the end we'd always be nearly at one another's throats…" 

"Then what happened?" Sora folded his arms on the table, pushing his plate of food aside, listening intently. 

"I don't know…" Leon shook his head, as if he, too, had never understood what had happened between them. "I honestly don't know." 

"Well, then how'd you two come to like one another?" 

Leon's brow furrowed. "Sora, I think…I think that's the problem. I don't know if we ever did like each other at the time…We hated each other, you have to understand that." He placed a gloved hand to his forehead, folding one arm over his chest. "It's confusing. I really can't tell you how I feel about him. But I know that in the end, I loved him." 

"'In the end'?" Sora prompted, frowning. "What's that mean, Leon?" 

"It means that…" Leon's eyes closed slowly. "It means that Seifer died in my arms the night the Heartless attacked our world." 

_"You always were putting your ass on the line for me…Leonhart…" Seifer reached up with a shaking hand, clamping it on Squall's shoulder. "I should've known…I really should've known…" _

Leon contemplated on Seifer's last words for a few moments. It had been nothing tragically romantic…Not "I love you" or anything. Just "I should've known". Leon sighed. Seifer had always been a confusing person…

"Well…" Sora shifted. "I'm sure he…" He trailed off, letting it go. "Do you have anything to remember him by?" 

"Yeah…" Leon fished around in his pocket, then placed something on the table. "This. He never took it off. He gave it to me after the first night we…Well. I think what I'm trying to say is pretty obvious." 

Sora reached over to the shining object, picking it up, then felt the cool metal of the silver choker press against fingers. On it were the faintly engraved words _Seifer Almasy_. 

"Did you ever wear it?" Sora asked idly, studying the choker. 

"…All the time." 

Sora fell silent, and so Leon turned his head to the side, staring off into space, mind lost back to the past. 

_"This is great…I've got Chicken-wuss and a guy who just reached puberty in my squad…" _

"Oh, I just love these exams…" 

"That's it…! I can't take it anymore! What is this, some kind of dog training!?" 

"Someday I'll tell ya about my ROMANTIC dream!" 

"So, Squall, how'd I look in my moment of triumph? I finally became the sorceress' knight!" 

"Squall…You're pathetic!" 

"Tell me! What is the meaning of SeeD!?" 

"You're on my tough nut to crack list…" 

"Well, Fujin, Raijin, it's been fun!" 

"NO! I'm not giving up yet! I'm not! You can't beat me at this! You can't reach the goal before me!" 

"…I love you." 

"Leon? Why are you crying, Leon…?" 

Leon took a shaky breath, realizing he was, and immediately blinked furiously, wiping his tears away. A last sob escaped his lips, and he leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. 

"I'm sorry, Leon…" Sora rushed around the table to him, feeling his heart wrench at the sight of the usually cold Leon in tears. "I'm sorry…I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have asked…" 

"No." Leon shook his head. "No, I'm fine, I don't know what came over me…" He smiled wryly. "Seifer would call me a wuss if he saw me crying like this…" 

"I'm really sorry…" Sora pressed a kiss to his temple, a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Really, I am." He slumped. "Sometimes I get the feeling I never do anything right…" 

"You just wanted to know…I guess I can't blame you." He let out a long sigh, then grabbed Sora, pulling him into his arms in a rare show of affection, nuzzling the boy's neck. "…I guess I should say I'm sorry for getting all teary-eyed on you." 

Sora grinned a little. "It's okay…" He wrapped his arms around Leon tightly, resting his cheek on the man's shoulder, closing his eyes and beginning to relax. A soft kiss was placed in return to his temple. 

Sora pulled away a little, studying Leon's face intently. "Leon, how come you…Do you like me?" 

"I don't know. I don't know if I can like anybody anymore…I'm lost. I lost my light before I ever realized it was there. It's kinda pathetic, huh?" Leon's expression was grim. 

"Not really…" Sora's hand reached out, touching Leon's cheek gently with his fingertips. To his surprise, Leon turned his head, nibbling on them a little, causing Sora to giggle and give a soft mewl at the same time. "This all started this morning when you asked me why I mewled…" 

Leon stood, placing a hand over Sora's and wrapping an arm snugly around his waist. He yanked the boy up into his arms, setting him on the counter to where he didn't have to hurt his back—as Sora was shorter than him—and began nibbling on Sora's neck instead. "So it did." He glanced up momentarily. "Any objections?"

Sora shook his head. "N-No…" 

"You know…" Leon trailed his nose up to Sora's jaw. "You never did answer me." 

Sora fought to keep his mind clear, to not let the haze hovering over it envelop it completely. "I…I didn't?" 

Nibbles along his jaw. Sora reached out, fingers curling in Leon's shaggy mane, and when the latter talked again, his voice was husky, "No. You didn't." 

"O-Oh?" Leon's hand cupping the erection between his legs and squeezing gently, causing Sora to mewl, his eyes rolling back into his head a little. "Well, I mewl because I…" 

"Sora." Leon smirked, pressing a kiss beneath the boy's chin. "I really don't care at the moment." 

Sora nodded. "Y-Yeah…Okay…" 

Leon started kissing down the other side of Sora's neck, and Sora closed his eyes, enjoying the nice sensation. However, when Leon's mouth closed halfway down at a certain spot, Sora shrieked in pain, as if he had been burnt, and reared away. 

"What? What's wrong!?" Leon demanded, pulling away and looking at Sora in all-out concern. "Did I hurt you, what did I…?" 

Sora squeezed his eyes shut, clamping a hand over his neck, shudders racking their way through him, shudders of pain. He whimpered, rocking back and forth a little, praying that the pain would subside. The pain was particularly searing where Leon's lips had been…That had been the place that Riku had bit him and marked him as his. 

"Sora…" Leon reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder…

Sora shoved him away and quickly ran to his room, tears blurring his vision. He locked the door behind him. 

_What did I tell you? _The ringing in his ears was greater than before. _You're mine, Sora…_

Sora stumbled over to his bed, weakly grabbing his cover and pulling it up and over him. He curled into a ball, shivering, tears streaming down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut once more. 

_Mine…You agreed. _

"I'm sorry," he whimpered. "Riku…" he sobbed. "Please…Take the pain away…I'm sorry. I'm yours, I'm really yours…" 

Darkness came then, unconsciousness, and Sora relaxed into the realm of sleep. There, everything rippled out, and Sora was facing nothing but vast darkness stretching in all directions. He swallowed. 

"Riku…?" 

Arms wrapped around his waist, and his neck was nuzzled affectionately. "Sora…" It was Riku's voice. But he wouldn't have had to speak for Sora to know it was him—Sora would know his touch anywhere and everywhere. "I don't like hurting you…I don't like causing you pain…" 

Sora sighed softly as Riku's cool, but utterly warm lips were pressed to the marking at his neck that had been flaring with pain moments earlier. Now, only ripples of comfort gave way, and Sora reached up behind him, entangling a hand in Riku's silky hair. It had grown longer, too, over the past three years. Nice and long, down to his shoulder blades…

"I just get so jealous…" Riku continued, running his hands up Sora's chest. "You're always looking at that man…I don't like the way you look at him. You're only supposed to look at me like that…" He was hugging Sora again. "And today…I got so angry…I thought I was gonna lose you…I don't wanna lose you." 

"Then why…?" Sora swallowed, feeling hot tears fill his eyes even as he gave into Riku's touch. "Why did you hurt me?" 

"So you wouldn't do it again…It's the only way to learn, Sora…" 

Sora turned in his arms, then, looking up into Riku's aqua green eyes. He wrapped his arms around the silver-haired boy's neck. "No, it's not!" he protested, the tears streaming down his cheeks. "You can just…" 

Riku didn't answer, just merely leaned down a little, kissing away the tears. "I love you, Sora," he murmured into Sora's hair, letting out a long sigh. "Showing you pain is the only way I can prove I love you." 

"You l-love me?" Sora swallowed. 

"Mhm…" Riku purred, nipping underneath the other boy's jaw. "You know I do." He pulled back slightly, looking into Sora's eyes. "You love me, too, right? Tell me. Tell me you're all mine." 

"Riku…" Sora whispered. "Of course I am…" 

Riku smirked. "Then if you love me you'll stay away from that Leon until I can get to you." 

"But how long will that take?" Sora whined. "I wanna see you, Riku…" He hugged the silver-haired boy fiercely. "I wanna see you! I miss you!" 

"I miss you, too, Sora. But I don't know how long it'll be…" He was already fading away. "Just stay away from that Leon man…" 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're avoiding me." 

Sora blinked the next day, rubbing the back of his neck, a puzzled expression on his face as Leon stood before him, hands on his hips, expression stern and gray eyes unreadable. "Leon…? What are you talking about, I don't avoid anyone…"

Leon folded his arms over his chest. "You're lying." His eyes flickered. "If you haven't been avoiding me, the least I could have gotten was a decent hello." 

"Oh? A hello?" Sora moved past him. "That didn't matter to you before, Leon, why would it now?" He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice. He was just in a bad mood today, and an interrogation that was sure to go from normal to worse from Leon wasn't what he needed. Plus, he just didn't want to be close, for fear of…of… 

"Don't be like Seifer." 

At the quietly spoken words—so soft Sora almost didn't catch them—he whirled, facing Leon. "_What?_" 

Leon turned his head to the side. "You're close to me one moment, then pushing me away the next. I'm the one supposed to be pushing people away…Not you, Sora. Don't be like Seifer." 

Helpless tears filled Sora's eyes. His bottom lip trembling, he placed a hand on the table to steady himself, glaring at Leon with all the dignity he could muster, but it wasn't very much. "You're accusing me of…? Leon, is he the reason you're the way you are? So cold and callous and distant? Don't accuse me of being like someone I barely know, nonetheless am nothing like. You don't know the whole story…" he choked. "So don't…Don't accuse me of hurting you! That's what you're doing!" 

Leon stared at him for a few moments, eyes widened in a bit of shock. "Sora, I'm not…" He sighed, shaking his head, running a hand through his hair. "Well, I won't lie…But at least tell me what's going on…I don't like being avoided." 

"But _you_ can avoid people?" Sora retorted. "Leon…Don't be a hypocrite." 

Leon smiled faintly. "I guess that's what I am, isn't it?" He glanced at Sora, then moved over to him, giving his hair a rustle. "Well, let me be the jackass is what I'm trying to say. I don't like it when you are…" He sighed. "You're supposed to be happy and carefree. A little runt who somehow wound up wielding the Keyblade." 

Sora pouted a little. "It's not my fault…" 

"I know." Leon waved a hand. "I know…Look at me. I'm getting sappy." 

Sora tilted his head a little to the side. "Leon, are you okay? Besides the obvious," he added hastily. 

Leon looked at him for a few moments, as if contemplating how to answer that, then shrugged, folding his arms over his chest again. "No one's asked me that question in a while…And I haven't really been okay since…Since Rinoa died." 

Sora was beginning to understand. "And you sought comfort in Seifer?" 

"…He was as depressed as me. We were both fucked up. We had nothing left. All we had was our rivalry and the passion that comes with that rivalry." Leon turned around, shaking his head. "We were two outcasts…We were two people that were complete opposites. Even when we were what you would consider being together, it was bitter." 

"Why don't you wear the necklace anymore, Leon?" 

"Same reason I never got back the ring Rinoa had that was mine. I don't want anything to do with it." 

"Then why don't you get rid of it?" Sora sounded impatient. 

"I can't…I've tried, believe me…" Leon's shoulders slumped, his eyes closing. "But I can't." 

"Muu…" Sora came up behind Leon despite Riku's command to stay away from him. He wrapped his arms around the other's narrow waist, nuzzling the man's back. "Well, I don't have anything to give you." He grinned a little. 

Leon stiffened at first, then relaxed. "I know." He smiled faintly. "Maybe that's for the best," he said over his shoulder. "I wouldn't know what to do with it." 

"Look at it and think 'This came from that runt of a Keyblade Master', right?" Sora giggled. 

"Somethin' like that…" Leon turned, hugging Sora to him tightly, nuzzling his hair. He inhaled deeply, then slowly exhaled. "Enough about me. Are _you _okay, Sora?" 

Sora smiled happily, content. "I'm fine." 

"You weren't mewling last night…" Leon pulled back a little, eyes showing somewhat concern. "I'm worried." 

"I'm fine, really, I am." Sora smiled again, this time more firmly, and he hoped his sapphire eyes wouldn't reveal how tired he was or the thoughts of agony of being without Riku or what Riku would do to him if anything happened between Sora and Leon. 

_Stay…Away…From…Him…_

As the words hissed at the back of his mind, Sora let Leon go, albeit a bit reluctantly, and made his way over to the sink to begin washing the dishes they had continued neglecting. 

_You are mine. _Mine. 

I know, Riku, Sora thought, letting the sink fill up with water. _I know. I'm sorry. _

_I thought you loved me. _

I…I do…Sora sighed. 

_Then stay away from him! _A shriek. _Damnit! You shared the paopu fruit with me, our destinies are intertwined, not yours and his! He doesn't care about you, he's just using you because he's got no one now and you're there! _

That was like a slap to the face. That stabbed right where it really hurt. _Riku…What…? _

Smug. _Only I can love you. You know that. No one else can truly appreciate you. _

Sora slumped, hanging his head, beginning to scrub the dishes. Tears brimmed his eyes before he wisely kept them back. He knew Leon was watching him. _I'm sorry. _

"I wanna know what's going on between you and Riku," Leon told Sora firmly. "Something's happening. Sora, you don't get distant for no reason, I've lived with you for three years, I should know." 

Sora turned from the dishes, giving Leon a reassuring grin. "Geeze, Leon, what's gotten into you lately? I'm perfectly fine. Riku's fine. We're all fine." 

Leon gave Sora a stern look. "What's he doing to you?" 

"Nothing!" Sora blushed, realizing how fast he had said that, and quickly added to give his statement back up, "We're fine, Leon, stop worrying." He waved a soap-sud hand around idly. "If we were on bad terms, I would have told you…Not like it would have mattered though," he said thoughtfully, tilting his head a little to the side, staring at the ceiling. "You would have told me to talk to a wall, though I say it's the same thing." 

Leon scowled a little at that, placing a gloved hand on his hip. "I'm being serious." 

Sora nodded. "I am, too." Grinning, winking, he went back to washing the dishes they had been neglecting for a bit too long now… 

Without saying a word, Leon took off his gloves, stuffing them in his pocket, and joined him, turning on the cold water and beginning to rinse for him. He stood in silence, hands keeping him busy, cocking his head a little to the side as he used the dishtowel to dry the dishes. 

Sora glanced up at him momentarily, then dunked his hands back in the water with a purposeful splash. This caused water to spray up at Leon, and he scowled a little, glaring down at Sora. Sora grinned again. 

"Yo," he said playfully. "You're looking a bit down, Leon, you all right?" 

Leon glared for a few moments more, then took some water, splashing Sora back.

"Hey!" Sora cried, raising his arm to defend most of it, but the big slosh soaked his hair. "Unfair!" 

Leon merely grunted. "Wash. Don't play. This isn't supposed to be playtime." 

Sora stuck his tongue out. But this only caused Leon to raise an eyebrow, eyes intense, and cock his head a little to the side again with a suggestive, knowing look. Sora blushed and quickly did as Leon had told him. Leon watched him a few moments more, then smiled faintly, going back to drying. 

"Anyone ever tell you that you were a party pooper, Leon?" Sora asked casually with a light shrug of his shoulders. 

"Several times." 

"And what did you tell them?" 

"Tell it to a wall." 

"Same thing," Sora mumbled with a roll of his eyes. "Geeze, Leon, you're getting…kinda old now! Ya gotta be more original, ya know?" 

"That is original. No one else says it," Leon retorted evenly.

Sora paused, then let it go. "Good point." Seeing Leon's smug smirk, he splashed water at him again. At Leon's scowl, he laughed. "C'mon, Leon, lighten up a little…" 

Leon leaned over suddenly, closing his eyes and doing something he hadn't done before. He kissed Sora softly on the lips. When he pulled away, Sora found himself swallowing and staring deep into Leon's eyes, hands buried in the scalding water, but he had completely forgotten about that. His cheeks were a bright red, and Leon just watched him quietly. 

"…Thanks," Sora managed. 

Leon blinked. "Thanks?" 

Sora swallowed, blushing even more. "I mean, uh…Um…" 

Pain.

"YOW!" Sora yelled, quickly pulling his hands out of the water. "Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch…" he whined, shaking them, then blowing on them in hopes to cool them. "Ouch! That hurt…" 

"Good going, genius," Leon grunted, then turned, setting down the dish he was holding and using his dishtowel to wipe off Sora's hands, clearing it of the suds. Once that was finished, he took the small, slender hands in his own and blew on them softly, rubbing them a little to gain back circulation. "Are you all right?" 

"Mhmmm…" Sora mewled a little. "Just dandy." 

"All right, then." Leon let him go. "If you're fine we can get back to what we were doing." 

Sora gave a little scowl at that, but then asked slyly, "The kiss or washing dishes?" 

Leon shrugged. "…Whatever." 

Sora felt a pang of hurt at the back of his mind. But it wasn't his. It was…

_Sora…Why are you doing this to me? I love you…Stop causing me this pain…If you loved me, too, you wouldn't hurt me…_

With a long sigh, Sora decided he would go for the latter and obediently finish washing the dishes indeed. _I'm sorry, Riku…But you're not here with me…I…_

_Is that it? _Bitterness. Resentment. Calm, barely bridled anger. _I have to be there? I'm trying the best I can. Fine…I'll come sooner than you think. Tomorrow. _

Sora dropped the glass he was holding, and it fell back into the suds with another splash. Leon was about to snap at him, but it wouldn't have mattered, anyway—Sora was staring intently at the wall. 

_Riku? Riku, what do you mean, tomorrow? Riku? _

No answer. 

"Sora." A nip to his ear to grab his attention, and it caused Sora to shiver. "Sora, are you all right?" 

"Um…" Sora blinked hard. "Riku's going to be here tomorrow." 

"What?" Leon's voice was curt. "What do you mean?" 

"…I don't know." Sora swallowed. "I…I don't think we can do this, Leon. The thing is, I…" He blinked hard again. Tears were beginning to make his vision blurry. He fought furiously to keep them back. "I…I belong to Riku. I promised." A sob. "I'm sorry." 

And he ran off to his room, locking it, leaving Leon to stare after him. 

*~*~*~*~*~*


	2. 007 Cloud Strife Mission: Act Gay

****

Disclaimer: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts. _I know that must be _so _disappointing…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Vash's Girl: Ah…Well, here it is. The second chapter. Whoot. I'm glad all of you enjoy this. **Laughs** I enjoy writing it. I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

****

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter Two

"I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away…If I will it all away."

****

Whisper—_Evanescence_

Leon wasn't in the kitchen the next morning when Sora sleepily stumbled into the room—Riku hadn't visited his dreams that night, which gave him cause to a little concern. In fact, Leon wasn't in the house _at all_. Aerith, Cloud, and Yuffie didn't know where he had gone either. It was just…completely predictable. Of course Leon wouldn't want to talk with him…Sora wouldn't have wanted to talk with himself, but then again, he _was _himself, and…and…

Tears pricked at Sora's eyes as he walked down one of the alleys in Traverse Town from the diner he had stopped to get breakfast at. Sniffling, breaths coming out in little puffs this morning, he raised a hand to rub furiously at his eyes. His lungs burned somewhat from the chill in the air and goosebumps were rising along his bare flesh. How come it was so cold all of a sudden…? 

Sora sighed, footsteps becoming weaker and weaker as he thought of what to do, where he should go, anywhere to a haven…His shoulders drooped, his sapphire eyes saddened, his feet dragged. His thoughts completely on Riku and Leon now and what he should do, among other things, he began to stagger a little as he realized he didn't have much hope left. Leon had just started showing Sora he liked him…But Riku had, too. What did this all mean? Riku was Sora's best friend, he loved him—but like that?—but Leon had also grown to be Sora's friend, too. Riku would be crushed if Sora chose Leon over him…And vice versa. 

More helpless tears as he glanced around the deserted alleyways, his vision blurry, not really seeing anything. He lifted his arms, hugging himself as the air grew thicker with cold. He still didn't really understand, but his mind was in such a haze of paralysis over his own heartbreak at the thought of hurting the two people he cared about the most he didn't care about anything else. 

He couldn't possibly know that he looked incredibly like Leon right now, when the man had been stumbling through Time Compression, trying to find Rinoa, trying to find his way back. He couldn't possibly know that his feelings and not the thoughts that accompanied them shared the same agony. 

"Riku…" he breathed, the first name that always came to his lips when he was in trouble. Even when he had fought Sephiroth three years ago, Sora had found himself calling out for his best friend. It was habitual…Even when he was falling through that void of darkness back in Hollow Bastion, Riku had been mainly on his mind. Kairi had only been distantly there…

He stumbled a little more, then let out a helpless cry, falling against one of the brick walls and slumping slowly until his bottom hit the ground. There, he buried his face in his hands, fingers digging into his bangs. 

"Riku…" His agony haunted him, clawing at him, making him feel vulnerable and incredibly alone. "Riku…" Tears streamed down his cheeks, leaking through his fingers, sliding along his wrists. 

Footsteps…They were nearing him…

Sora ignored the footsteps. If it was just some passerby, it was hardly worth paying attention to. If it was a thief or worse, he could always defend himself. He had saved all the worlds, after all…

A slender hand was placed on his shoulder, and he lowered his hands slowly, looking up into aqua green eyes and seeing a soft smile twitch at the corners of the silver-haired boy's lips. 

Relief flooding through him, he pounced forward, hugging Riku tightly to him. 

"Riku!" he cried breathlessly, laughing through his tears and nuzzling the other's shoulder. Riku's arms hesitated, then wrapped firmly around him. Sora squeezed his best friend to him. "Riku, you're here!" 

"I said I'd come, didn't I?" A little sigh. Riku stood slowly, bringing Sora with him, the cinnamon-haired boy still latched onto him, as if to never let go. Riku wouldn't have minded, anyway. "You have such little faith in me…" 

Sora laughed again, vaguely noticing that the cold that had lowered itself in the air was slowly beginning to recede. "You know that's not true, Riku." He smiled, sobering a little, and wrapped his arms around Riku's slim waist. He rested his head on the silver-haired boy's chest, feeling the firm muscles of him pressed against him. "I'm glad you could come…When'd you get here?" 

"Just a minute ago…" Riku idly stroked Sora's hair. "I heard you calling me, Sora…" He pulled away from the boy a little, eyes boring into Sora's. "You really…needed me, didn't you?" 

Sora nodded vigorously. "I felt lost, Riku!" he explained in a rush, cheeks flushed from all the excitement of being held in the arms of Riku in pure reality, not warped reality. "I felt…I felt like I couldn't find my way! I don't know why I got that way…It was so…Bizarre…" He threw his arms around Riku again. "And then I called for you and you came. I'm so happy." He nuzzled Riku's neck. "Muu…I missed you, Riku!" _I didn't know how much until now…_

*~*~*~*~*~*

_It's so easy to forget about Leon when I'm with Riku…But I can't ever forget Riku when I'm with Leon… Yet I still feel extremely content when I'm with both of them… Yet it's different for each one… With Riku, it's the feeling of finding my haven, at being at home at last, all of warm, fuzzy feelings… With Leon, it's the thrill of excitement, eroticism, of floating, of being free…_

I don't know what to do…I'm Riku's…But I somehow wanna be with Leon, too…

*~*~*~*~*~*

"What was going on with Sora this morning?" Aerith questioned, frowning a little. "Leon? He wasn't talking to any of us…And he was avoiding you. I could see it…" She sighed softly. "I'm worried." 

Leon leaned against the wall in Aerith, Yuffie, and Cloud's home. His eyes remained closed, one foot folded over his shin, his arms crossed over his chest and his head bowed the slightest bit. "I don't know." 

Cloud Strife gave a grunt, coming into the living room from the kitchen. He placed a fist on his hip, gesturing with the other. "I don't think this is the time to try and get out of questioning, Leon." His blue eyes stared hard at Leon. "Now answer honestly. This is the Keyblade Master we're dealing with, we…"

"There will always be another one," Leon said, shaking his head, earning a startled gasp from Yuffie while Aerith placed a hand over her mouth. "It doesn't matter…If there are no more Heartless, what use is the Keyblade?" 

"SQUALL!" Yuffie yelled. "You can't mean that! It doesn't matter if he's the Keyblade Master or not, he's our friend, you shouldn't…" 

"Shouldn't what?" Leon replied curtly, opening his eyes at last and looking at each of them in turn. "Shouldn't pretend like nothing can possibly happen? It's been three years…You should know that by now. Especially with what happened to our worlds." He glared hard at Yuffie. "And it's _Leon_." 

"Hmph!" Yuffie growled, shaking a fist at him, then folded her arms over her chest, slinging one hip out to the side. Her azure blue eyes glittered in rage. "Squall, Leon, _whatever_! You're still the same person. And if you're going to act like you don't care if Sora dies or something—"

"I didn't say that," he interrupted coolly. His voice was deadly calm. "And I'm not the same person. I'm Leon. Not Squall." 

Aerith glanced between the two bickering friends. This wasn't what she had intended to happen by asking Leon what was wrong with Sora…

"You're just acting like you don't care anymore because you always do this when something happens to someone you care about!" Yuffie yelled, all optimistic attitude lost. "Like with Rinoa! Like with Seifer! And now Sora! You know something is up! Spit it out!"

"It's none of your business." 

"That's _bull shi_—!"

"Stop yelling." 

Everyone looked to the doorway to see Sora standing there. 

Yuffie immediately faltered, fist lowering, blinking. Cloud turned, looking over his shoulder at the door while Aerith smiled apologetically, tilting her head a little to the side. Leon merely snorted and brushed past them all. He didn't give so much as a goodbye on his way out, and as he shoved past Sora, Sora only stared after him a bit sadly before turning his attention to the others. But Sora had caught Leon's whispered words…

_"…I want to talk to you later about this." _

"Hey, guys." Sora gave a little wave, smiling, then stepped out the door for a few seconds, grabbing someone and pulling them in. "I want you to meet Riku…My, er…" He blushed. "My boyfriend." 

Yuffie glanced to the tall young man who had to be only a year older than Sora standing beside the cinnamon-haired boy. Riku's hair was long, down to his shoulder blades, and a fine silver color that reminded her of Sephiroth's. His eyes were a strange, aqua green, piercing. He was slim, but muscular, his shirt clinging to his chest and abdomen enticingly, and he carried a light smirk on his pale lips. 

Sora radiated pure happiness. "Riku…This is…" He began pointing to his friends, "Aerith, Cloud, and Yuffie." 

Aerith smiled, folding her hands before her. "Pleased to meet you." 

Cloud gave a nod and a little wave with the hand that had the claws on it. 

Yuffie placed a fist on her hip, scrutinizing him closely. _Sora's boyfriend? But…With Sora and Leon these past few months, there's been so much sexual tension in the air…_She frowned. _I like Sora and Leon together…They should be together, not this Riku person with Sora! _

When she still hadn't said anything, Aerith gave her a stern look. Yuffie sighed, then nodded. "Pleased to meet ya." But it didn't carry the usual cheerfulness. "I'm the great Ninja Yuffie." It sounded so flat. 

"He just got here today," Sora provided, grasping Riku's hand in his own. Riku looked down at Sora momentarily, smiling faintly. It looked as if Riku had a hard time smiling. "From Kingdom Hearts. It doesn't need anyone there; it's been sealed completely off. Is that great news or what?" 

Cloud nodded, and ruffled his hair. Something he rarely did. "Yeah, that's the greatest news we've heard in a while, kid. No more Heartless. We can all live in peace permanently now without fear of them coming back…" He added under his breath, "No matter what Leon says." 

"You know what would make it even better?" Yuffie offered. Everyone looked to her. She smiled. _You. Leaving. Pronto. _"If we celebrate, of course."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Leon slumped down on the cavern floor outside Merlin's home, sighing, pulling his legs up a little to him, boots scraping against the stone. He let his head droop back, hitting the wall behind him with a little 'thunk'. He ignored the slight pain. 

His Gunblade lay to the side of him, the blade of the gun sword glistening somewhat in the little light filtering into the cavern. The sounds of water hitting the stone with its 'drip-drop' filled the void of silence in Leon's mind. 

Silence. Silence. Silence. 

Fuck, he didn't want silence! No! He wanted to hear Sora mewling, he wanted to see Sora's smile, he wanted to hold that kid until he was almost crushing him, he wanted to, he wanted to, he wanted to…

_"Beggars can't be choosers." _

"You know what? I really don't know." 

His gloved hand curled into a fist at the remembrance of his words from three years ago. Beggars _couldn't _be choosers, but damn…Damn, damn, _damn_. He was a beggar now, he wanted to beg Sora to let that Riku kid go and be with him. But he couldn't choose, he really couldn't…And damn straight that he didn't know what to do. 

His eyes closed slowly as a headache formed just above his right brow. He raised two fingers, rubbing it, then sighed, one arm sliding down his shins to land on his boots. He stared at the floor of the cavern, watched it grow a bit blurry before he sniffed and got it under control again. 

This all wouldn't have happened if he hadn't developed feelings for the kid…This all damned wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been so adorable, so comforting, so…so…_Sora_. And now Sora was pushing him away, not the other way around, for the first time in three years, and Leon wasn't handling it very well. 

He tried to think about how Seifer would handle this but only received more of a headache in the process. 

…Seifer would throw it away, wouldn't he? Seifer didn't have that much ambition. He would let Sora go to Riku without an argument, letting himself be miserable for gods knew how much longer. Most people would think Seifer would fight for Sora, but no…Seifer wouldn't have it in him. He'd think it best to just let Sora go to spare himself more hurt. 

Leon let out a long, weary sigh. Is that what he should do? Let Sora go? 

_"Squall, you and I are different, y'know? Tch, but we're the same, too…" Seifer barked a laugh. "You never let your heart choose your decisions, and I do. How come you're like that, Leonhart? I'll never understand you in a sense." _

Squall rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Seifer." 

Leon ran a hand through his hair. 

_"But…" Seifer smiled slowly, clamping a hand on Squall's shoulder. "You're always fighting for what you want the most in a way. Once you have a goal, you go for it. Nothing can stop you. You block out all your emotions so nothing will." His smile saddened. "Sometimes, though crazy as it is, I wish I could be like you, Leonhart." _

Squall shook his head. "…Whatever. You're speaking crap again, Seifer. Leave me alone." He cast a glare at his rival. "For once." 

Leon stared up at the ceiling of the cavern. 

_"Always pushing me and everyone else away…Don't you feel alone?" _

Squall paused at that, then looked down. "I…I…" He sighed. "Yeah. All the time. There's no one there for me." 

Seifer leaned over, kissing his temple firmly. "Don't talk like that. You know that's not true." 

Squall shot him a glare, though it wasn't as harsh as it would have been if Seifer hadn't kissed him. "You just accused me of it." 

"I questioned you of it." He waved a gloved hand. "Big difference." 

Squall rolled his eyes again. "…Whatever you say, Seifer." 

He smirked. "Of course, Leonhart." 

Leon curled up a little, grabbed his Gunblade and trailed the tip along the ground. 

_I want Sora…_he thought, raising a hand and staring at it a little, his Gunblade going limp in his grasp. _I'm gonna…I'm gonna fight for him. _He stood slowly. _Yeah…I'm not gonna give up. I can't. Or there will be nothing left. _

*~*~*~*~*

"You sure we're alone?" Riku whispered, trailing his hands down Sora's sides as they moved into his room, though Sora was walking backwards. The house was empty, but he still wanted to be sure. He closed the door behind him, turning on the light. At Sora's confused look, he smiled slyly and explained, "I want to see you." 

Sora blushed at this, wrapping his arms slowly around Riku's neck. Riku placed his gloved hands on Sora's forearms, bending down a little and touching his forehead to Sora's. "So are we?" 

Sora nodded. "Yeah…Yeah, we sure are." He gasped a little as Riku un-tucked Sora's shirt. Gods, it felt better in reality, not in that warped reality he had been seeing Riku in for the past week or so. Riku felt so…warm…His presence was so comforting. 

Riku kissed beneath Sora's jaw, started up along it with gentle nips, finally got to his ear. He closed his aqua green eyes and bit down a little, then ran his tongue along the lobe. Sora tasted sweet. 

Sora let out a little mewl, grip tightening around Riku as he pressed closer. 

Riku chuckled between kisses down Sora's cheek. "Be patient." His hands slid down to his best friend's narrow hips and squeezed. "For me, alright?" His voice was soft. "I want to relish in this…" he whispered to Sora's other ear, raising one of his hands to cup the back of Sora's neck and tilt his head back a little. "Touching you…Feeling you…Let me relish in this. Please?" 

Sora numbly nodded, eyes closing halfway. "…I'm all yours, Riku." 

"Of course you are," he murmured. "You always have been…Right?" He was pushing Sora's jacket away slowly, taking his sweet time, then began pulling down on the zipper to his shirt. He made sure to trail his finger down after it. 

Sora shivered as the cool air hit his already flushed skin. "R-Riku…" 

Riku bit down gently where he had marked Sora, suckling a little. "Right?" he repeated, trailing his nose up to Sora's. He rested his forehead on the younger boy's again. "C'mon…" 

"Right." Sora smiled, unwrapped his arms from around Riku's neck. He placed one hand on Riku's hip, moved the other into his silver locks, feeling the silky strands press between his fingers. "Your hair's gotten longer…" He trailed off with a 'mmf' as Riku pressed his lips to his. Sighing happily, he parted his lips a little, giving entrance to Riku's tongue as it slid along his lower lip. 

"Do you like it?" Riku whispered, staring down into Sora's sapphire pools of eyes. As Sora nodded, bringing his hands to Riku's chest to begin pulling off his own shirt, fingers fumbling a little, Riku clasped his own fingers over Sora's, showing him how to get out of his snippy outfit. "I had to let it grow, but you were always telling me when we were kids to keep it long so I didn't bother changing it when I left Kingdom Hearts this morning…" 

Sora paused, gaze flickering up to Riku's, the pads of his fingertips resting on Riku's partially revealed chest. "How did you do that, anyway?" 

Riku shrugged. "Kingdom Hearts has been fine by itself…I could have left at anytime." 

A bit hurt, Sora frowned. "How come you didn't tell me before?" 

"I…" Riku sighed, hands falling away from Sora's and dropping to his sides. He turned his head to the side. "…I was waiting. Waiting for you to call for me again. I knew you would today…I could feel it…So I came. The reason I've been able to keep in contact with you for so long is because you needed me. You didn't have to voice it, but I could still feel it…I was afraid to do anything about it, though, until a week or so ago…" He placed Sora's hand over his heart. "Do you feel it? Do you feel your heartbeat?" 

Sora's eyes widened a little. He did. A faint, second heartbeat was beating steadily against his palm with Riku's, and it matched the beats of his own. "…I do! Is this from the paopu fruit?" 

Riku nodded. "Yeah…Our destinies are intertwined forever…Did you doubt it?" 

"Well, no, but…" As Riku's face clouded over, Sora realized Riku was beginning to pull away again. He threw his arms around Riku's neck once more, kissing him firmly, heatedly, with so much need, fingers curling at the ends of his locks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

Riku kissed back, but he still sounded doubtful. "…Do you even know what you're sorry for?" 

Helpless tears filled Sora's eyes. "Riku, don't push me away! Please don't! I finally got you back again, don't do this!" 

Riku's eyes bore hard into Sora's. "Do you even know what you're sorry for?" he repeated firmly. 

Sora nodded, choking on a sob. "Y-You…" he stammered. "I hurt you. I…I-I stayed with Leon just a few days ago…I-I pushed you away. I-I'm sorry, Riku! I was just so alone, Leon was there to offer me comfort, you weren't here, I liked him, I turned to him…" 

Riku closed his eyes slowly, but he said nothing. 

Sora smacked a hand to Riku's chest in frustration. "Don't do this to me!" he cried. "Don't you dare do this to me! I love you, damnit, I wouldn't trade you for anything!" He beat a fist on Riku's chest repeatedly, tears streaming down his cheeks, shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. "Don't…Don't do this to me…" 

Riku wrapped his arms slowly around Sora. He ran his hands up Sora's bare back, his shoulder blades grazing against his palms, and into his hair. As Sora stopped beating at his chest, sniffling, looking up at him with teary, confused eyes, Riku leaned down, kissing Sora slowly, lips brushing over his, his gaze locked on the other's. Sora's lips moved to kiss back, but Riku was already trailing his lips down Sora's jaw, down, down to his neck, sinking his teeth in gently. His fingers curled in Sora's hair, tightening. 

"R-Riku?" Sora stuttered, but his eyes closed slowly on a soft mewl. "W-What…?" 

The fingers in his hair yanked down, exposing his throat. Riku began placing slow kisses over it, letting his tongue slip out at times, sometimes his teeth. One arm wrapped firmly around Sora's waist, pulling Sora against Riku's firm, slim, muscular body. "I forgive you. Now shut up." 

Sora complied, fingers moving again. He had gotten the gist of how to get Riku's shirt off, and he was using his newfound knowledge to do so immediately. Slowly, Riku's shirt slipped off him, and Sora ran his hands up the finely chiseled chest appreciatively, feeling the muscles ripple beneath his touch. Riku's skin was warm, smooth. His eyes closed in anticipation of what was going to happen this night. 

Riku trailed his kisses down to Sora's collarbone, stumbling with him to Sora's bed. When Sora's knees hit the back of it, Riku scrambled with him up to the pillows, one knee on one side of Sora's waist, his other firmly between Sora's knees. Riku rested a hand to the side of Sora's neck, placed a wet kiss to the other's forehead. 

"Is this what you want?" he asked softly, staring down into Sora's eyes once more. The sapphire pools were filled with lust. 

Sora nodded. "P-Please?" 

Riku smirked slowly. "Show me. Show me that you want it." 

Slowly, pulse becoming scrambled, picking up, Sora leaned up, kissing Riku softly. He pulled the other's lower lip into his mouth, suckling gently, then nipped it, rolling Riku over beneath him. Riku let out a soft moan, placing his hands on Sora's hips. 

"Show me." His voice was husky. "Show me that you're mine completely and that you want me." 

Sora nodded, trailing hot, wet kisses along Riku's chest as he moved down the length of his best friend's body. His fingers curled in the waistband of Riku's pants, unbuttoned them, then tugged. Riku raised his hips, and Sora slid the annoying piece of barrier between them away. 

Sora immediately blushed. "Um…" 

Riku looked down at him. "What? What is it?" 

"Um…" Sora sat up a little, rubbing the back of his neck. His face felt like it was on fire. "Wow…" 

Riku chuckled, letting his head fall back against the pillows again. "I'll take that as a compliment." 

"…I'm kinda inexperienced at this," Sora mumbled, nuzzling Riku's thigh. "So if I'm crappy at this…Sorry…" 

Riku placed a hand to the back of Sora's neck. "It's all right, Sora." 

Taking confidence in this simple gesture, Sora trailed his nose along the length of Riku's shaft, then tentatively let his tongue slip out, circling the head briefly. When a soft sound of pleasure reached his ears, he took this as a good sign and continued, running his tongue lightly up Riku's shaft. 

Sora hesitated.

Riku's grip tightened on the back of Sora's neck. "You're doing good so far…Go on…"

"Are you sure…?" 

Riku let out a hiss between his teeth. "If you stop now, Sora…"

Sora smirked, letting out a rare, non-bashful side, and continued his ministrations, tongue curling around Riku's shaft once, a type of twist. Closing his eyes, he forced himself and his throat to relax, then locked his lips on Riku's pulsing member. 

Riku's eyes rolled back into his head a little as he was taken into Sora's warm, wet chamber of a mouth. How long had he been dreaming of this? Since he was old enough to know what an orgasm was. Old enough to know what damn masturbation was. 

Slowly, Sora began moving his lips up and down with a slight suction, his cheeks hallowing. Beneath him, Riku writhed a little, taking his lower lip between his teeth. Sora's cinnamon hair fell around his face, tickling Riku's thighs as he let his tongue slip out a little, sliding along the underside of Riku's shaft. 

"Sora…" The name escaped Riku's lips like a gentle breeze on a summer day on Destiny Islands.

_I guess I'm doing okay_, Sora thought, and tentatively began moving his lips faster. Riku abruptly thrust up, however, causing Sora to nearly choke, and the younger boy held Riku's hips firmly down with his hands, blinking and pausing for a moment to regain his breath. 

Closing his eyes again, making his throat relax once more, he locked his lips around Riku's shaft again, tongue twirling around the head and into the slit a little, lapping up the precum. Bitter, but…

When Riku thrust up into his mouth again, not as forceful as last time, Sora fought down the instinctive reaction to gag and took Riku as far as he could into his mouth. With a bit of pressure, he began bobbing his head up and down again, surprised by how easily this was going. Beneath him, Riku was writhing again, letting Sora's name escape his lips again, this time in a moan as his hands curled into fists on Sora's blanket. 

Sora mewled softly, letting the vibration carry over to Riku's shaft, and Riku's eyes rolled back into his head again. Taking this as another good sign, once more Sora continued, faster and faster until Riku was panting, murmuring his name. 

White light…Riku was nearly brimming with euphoria. _Oh, gods, gods, gods_…

"Sora!"

As the semen entered his mouth in a hot shot, Sora swallowed it instinctively, letting the bitterness travel down his throat. He winced a little as he pulled away, nose scrunching up, and licked his lips. 

Panting, Riku fell back against the bed again, slick with sweat. His eyes were a bit dilated, and everything remained in a haze. He licked his lips, swallowing against his dry throat as Sora crawled back up the length of his body. Sora bent down, kissing Riku's lips, and both boys' lips parted. Sora tasted bitter, but tangy with his own taste, as well, and Riku found tasting himself slightly erotic. 

"Was that good enough?" Sora murmured, then suckled on Riku's lower lip again. He bit down a little, then delved his tongue once more into Riku's mouth, enjoying the taste of darkness and just plain 'ole Riku. 

Riku nodded, closing his eyes. "Yeah…" He pulled Sora against him, kissing his neck. "Say you're mine again," he whispered. 

"Yours." Sora smiled. "All yours." 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Leon sat on his bed against his wall, trying to ignore the moans, hands fisted in his hair. He closed his eyes tightly, curling up a little, wanting to block all those sounds of pleasure out. Couldn't they just stop!? He couldn't sleep with this…

He fell back on his bed with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling, one hand still fisted in his hair, the rest of him lying eagle-spread. Geeze…Another moan had him gritting his teeth. 

"Riku…" 

Furious, he stood up, pacing his room, hands now rooted firmly in his hair. His bare feet moved against the cold floor with a quick pace, what shaggy hair was free of his grasp swung a little back and forth. 

"Shut up," he growled to himself. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" 

"Sora…"

He rushed over to the wall, pounding on it. "I can't take it anymore! Shut up! Take this somewhere else! Get a stripper bar or something just don't do it here!" He kicked the wall, vaguely grateful that it didn't crack at the force behind his kick. "Go! Now!" 

Letting out a hiss, he stalked back to his bed, lying down and closing his eyes. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Plan A…" Yuffie murmured to herself, rubbing her hands together as she paced the room. Cloud and Aerith were sitting on the couch, blinking, politely puzzled. Yuffie waved her stick, pointing it at the chalkboard they had scavenged from an old gummi ship of theirs before the boundaries had come back up. "We get them apart!" 

The diagram on the board showed a cute little picture of Sora that she had taken delicate time drawing while the other picture showed a sloppily drawn picture of Riku. Aerith and Cloud looked at each other, blinked, then looked back at Yuffie with raised eyebrows. 

Yuffie folded her arms over her chest, huffing, her foot tapping the floor impatiently. "Represents my hatred for Riku." 

"Right…" Cloud nodded. 

Aerith smiled weakly, folding her hands in her lap, fingers twined loosely. "Yuffie, maybe you're taking this a bit extreme?" 

Yuffie pointed the stick at her, waving it threateningly. "NO! I am not! Squall has…has…fancied Sora for a while now!" 

Cloud started sniggering, but quickly snorted to hide it. "Fancied?" 

"This isn't funny!" Yuffie scowled. 

He held his hands up. "I'm not laughing." 

"Yes, you are!" She stomped her foot. 

Aerith cleared her throat, breaking up was beginning to form into an argument. "Continue, Yuffie." 

Cloud leaned back on the couch, stretching his legs out, folding his arms over his chest. He waved his hand in a flourish. "Please, great Ninja Yuffie. Share with us your knowledge." His voice practically had sarcasm dripping from it. 

Yuffie sniffed, ignoring his tone. "Yes, well…" She turned back to the board, using the stick to point to the two faces. "We have Sora…And we have Riku!" 

"And we're not blind." 

Yuffie ignored him yet again. "Truthfully, though…I think they can just…break up!" She sighed, shoulders drooping. "So…Here's what we're gonna do…We're gonna break them up, like I said! Ya got me?" 

Aerith frowned. "Yuffie…?" 

Cloud shrugged. "Are you sure you wanna do that?" 

"Squall and Sora should be together forever!" Yuffie hissed vehemently, a dangerous look in her dark eyes. 

"It's Leon." 

As Leon strolled casually into the room, Yuffie's eyes widened. In a panic, she pushed herself up against the board, hiding its contents from Leon's view. _Not good! _she thought frantically. _How much did he hear!? _

Leon took a sip out of the coffee cup he was holding—it was no doubt just plain black. Leon liked bitter-tasting things to drink. "So what are you three up to?" 

Yuffie sighed in relief, causing Leon to look at her strangely. "Um…" She giggled nervously. "Have I told you how much I loved you today?" 

Leon blinked at her, then rolled his eyes. "No, and gods, please don't go through the trouble." 

Cloud smirked. "Yuffie thinks you and Sora should…" He gave Leon a pointed look.

Aerith sighed, taking a sip of her tea. 

Leon finished for him, "Fuck?" 

Aerith spat out her tea. 

Leon nodded. "Yeah. Sounds kinda nice. Except _Sora was fucking Riku all night long!_" 

Yuffie blinked rapidly. "Yo, Squall, you okay? … Now that I look closely, your eyes are kinda bloodshot…" 

"It's Leon. And could _you _sleep with two boys humping each other in the next room?" 

Aerith placed a hand to her mouth, giggling a little. "Leon, you've got such a way with words." 

Leon merely grunted. "I didn't get any sleep all night long. If I still had hormones like that, well…" He sighed, leaning against the nearby wall, folding his arms over his chest and closing his eyes. 

Cloud was snickering. "The ice statue Leon complaining over lack of sleep? Gee, I never thought I'd see the day." 

"Want to switch rooms with me?" Leon growled.

Cloud held up a hand. "I'll pass, thanks." 

Yuffie watched the exchange between Leon and Cloud, then let out a long breath. She mumbled half-heartedly, "Why don't you and Leon just fuck, Cloud, and get it over with?" 

Cloud choked while Leon's cheeks began turning a fine red. Aerith patted Cloud on the back, a look of concern in her bright, green eyes. Leon buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. 

"Everybody wants Squall!" Yuffie chirped. 

Aerith smiled at Yuffie in exasperation. "Yuffie, you were just going on about how you wanted Sora and Leon together." 

Yuffie waved her hand impatiently. "My point exactly. Everyone wants Squall. I mean, who could resist those leather-clad hips? Those challenging, stormy eyes? That shaggy mane of chocolate brown hair? That enormous thing down south—"

"Yuffie." Leon shot her a glare. "Shut up." 

She only laughed. "I think I just found a way to get Sora impossibly jealous of Leon." 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Why did I agree to do this again?" Cloud mumbled as he and Leon found their way through the diner they were in to meet Riku and Sora for their designated lunch date. "I'm acting like I'm gay…" He rolled his eyes to the heavens, remembering Yuffie's comment to that, _"Now, now, Cloud! It's time to come out of the closet at last!" _

_What closet? _Snorting to himself, he remembered what he had to do, and grabbed Leon's hand firmly in his. 

"You're crushing the bones in my hand," Leon growled to him.

Cloud loosened his grip a little. "Yeah, so where are Riku and Sora supposed to be again?" 

"In the far corner…" Leon sighed. "It's not like I'm happy doing this either, Cloud." 

"Yeah, and I'm Yuffie." Before Leon could retort angrily to that, Cloud spotted their 'objectives' for their 'mission'. 

007 Cloud Strife. Mission: Act Gay. 

_Here goes nothin'…_ Cloud thought, sighing, and wrapped an arm snugly around Leon's shoulders. Leon stiffened, and Cloud hissed to his ear, "If I have to make a fool of myself, you better damn act like you're enjoying it!" 

Rolling his eyes, Leon relaxed into the half-embrace, placing a hand on Cloud's chest. "This is stupid…" 

"You're tellin' me…" Cloud mumbled, then let out a sigh. "Do you even _want _to get Sora jealous of me?" 

"…Would it be wrong if I told you yeah, just a little?" 

"Damn." 

Leon couldn't help the smirk. "What, Cloud? Uncomfortable?" 

Cloud scowled up at him, Mako blue eyes glowing more brightly than usual, but more deadly, as well. "You're enjoying yourself?" 

Leon shrugged. "…Whatever. I'm gay, you're…well, you're you." He snorted. "Not much else to say about that…" 

Cloud glared. Leon shrugged again. 

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that…" Cloud mumbled. He shifted, then sighed. "This is uncomfortable…One, you're taller than me, two, you're pressing up against my shoulder armor…" 

"You're the one that moved me here." Leon shrugged, folding his arms over his chest. "I didn't say you had to touch me. I didn't say I wanted to be touched."

Cloud took offense to that before he realized what he was saying, "Are you saying I'm not good enough to touch you or somethin'? Gods, always have that stick up your ass…"

Leon's eyes darkened. "For someone who's straight, you're sure taking offense pretty fast." 

Cloud grumbled and let his arm fall away, crimson cloak swishing around him. "I'm about ready to leave." 

Leon shrugged. "…Whatever. Go on ahead, I'm not stopping you." 

Yuffie's words came back to haunt Cloud, _"But you can't just leave a friend in distress! Cloudddddd!" _

Cloud gritted his teeth. "Look…" He sighed, turning his head a little to the side, away from Leon. "I'm doing this to help you. You're all my friends. I know this sounds sappy, but I just wanna make everyone happy. If that includes having me play gay…Well, fine, then, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna have a horrible time while I'm at it, or everyone can just go screw themselves and leave me alone." 

He turned to Leon, holding out his hand, never minding the weird stares they were beginning to receive. "Let's call a truce until this lunch date is over." 

Leon eyed his hand warily, then nodded, clasping it firmly in his. "Touché." 


	3. I'll Chase the Darkness Away

****

Disclaimer: Nope…Don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. **Deep sigh**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Vash's Girl: OMG! I got my **first** yaoi flame! I'm so excited! **Is not being sarcastic at all** 

****

VG: Okay…If you want to see the flame…

aghh I can't belive such impurity I am tired of you, IS A SHAME THAT YOU POLLUTED YOUR LIFE WITH SUCH ADULTERED TOUGHS I hope you learn in Life you are immature person how dare you write that, I hope you will erase those stories AND I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU JUST ERASE IT NOW.

****

VG: Such impurity? So there's no homosexuals out in the world? What do you live, a sheltered life?

****

VG: Adultered isn't even a word…

****

VG: I'm immature? …Right. You're obviously the one immature if you're sitting here going spastic about it. If you don't like it…Why do you read it? Geeze. 

****

VG: Ya, I don't want to fight with someone like you either. And I won't erase it. 

****

VG: By the way…Let's work on our grammar and spelling a little, okay? Thanks!

VG: Anyways…So I finally got this chappie out. Whee! Just make a note people—this is probably going to be a nice long fic…So don't think any couples are permanent yet. I already know what the couples are gonna end up as, but there's a lot of spirals in love before they get that way! Sooo…Just be patient. 

****

VG: Thanks to everyone for reviewing. I hope ya enjoy this chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. ^^o 

Sora looked up, Riku's hand held in his under the table. His eyes widened when he saw Leon nearing their table with _Cloud_. A twist of jealously knotted in his stomach as his eyes momentarily narrowed. Leon had his arm wrapped around Cloud oh-so-casually, giving a rare smile as he chatted softly with the blond. The blond grinned back, his arm wrapped around Leon's waist as they strolled in a completely relaxed manner. 

Sora had been informed that Leon had wanted to join he and Riku at lunch. Now…He could admit to himself that he hadn't been too sure of that, but he had agreed because…because he was _Sora_. He always wanted to make everyone happy…And he really did. But…But…Aerith hadn't informed Sora that Leon had been bringing a date! And Cloud, of all people!? Wasn't Cloud straight!? Geeze, he was sure kept in the dark about things lately…

Riku, of course, was watching them with a smile on his pale lips. His fingers tightened around Sora's. He would be _overjoyed _to see Cloud with Leon. Now he wouldn't have a barrier between he and his Sora, but that didn't matter anymore, because Riku was confident. His Sora loved him; he had _nothing _to worry about. 

"Cloud," Sora greeted casually with a nod and a little wave with his free hand. He smiled. "Come out of the closet at last?" 

"Oh…Um…" Cloud nodded, leaning into Leon a little. "Yep. Everyone's gay these days, aren't they?" 

Leon chuckled at that, drawing Sora's eyes to him. Leon never laughed…

Sora felt another pang of jealously, but he ignored it, studying the table instead. "So you guys wanted to join us for lunch?" 

"Yeah." Leon pulled out a chair for Cloud. Cloud sat down, smiling up at Leon, and Leon smiled back. He pushed the chair in, then sat in the chair beside Cloud. "How long did we make you guys wait?" Sora was about to answer, but Leon continued, "Sorry, but we kinda got, er, _distracted…_" He and Cloud exchanged knowing looks.

Before Sora could make a nasty retort, Riku replied easily, not noticing the glint in Sora's eyes, but Leon had, for he looked directly at him and smiled slowly, as if in challenge, "Not too long. Maybe five or ten minutes." 

"Record timing…" Cloud threw in with a look to Leon, drumming his claws along the white tablecloth. "We usually get to dates after…how many minutes, Squall?"

Sora felt another pang of jealously then, too. Leon was the only one he let call him 'Squall'…He returned his gaze to Riku, intent on ignoring it. Riku cast him a concerned look as Sora's fingers unconsciously tightened. Sora immediately loosened his grip and turned his attention back to the other couple.

Leon smirked. He slipped a hand into Cloud's. Cloud grasped it tightly, twining their fingers. Sora had to make himself look up at their faces to prevent from staring. "Ah…Does it even matter? Sometimes we don't even make it." 

"You've been a couple before!?" Sora blurted. At Cloud's raised eyebrows and Leon's knowing smirk, he swallowed harshly. "I mean…" He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly—even Riku had given him a startled look. "Of course you have." He made sure his smile was genuine, looked Leon directly in the eyes. "You two are such a cute couple." _He's playing a game…I can play, too. _

Sora fought down doubt in his abilities as Leon shrugged, easily directing his gaze back to Cloud. Sora had to keep in mind that Leon, after being in a relationship with his ultimate rival, was probably much, much more experienced at gaining dominance over unspoken games than he was. 

Cloud smiled at him. "Thanks, Sora." 

A young woman began coming over to them, beaming a huge smile. 

Sora paled. He had forgotten Yuffie worked here…

"Hey!" she greeted as she reached them. She took out four menus, placing them in front of them, then took out a notepad and a pen. That smile was still in place. "I'll be your waitress for today. What can I get you to drink?" 

"Coke," Sora mumbled, sighing. This was doomed to be a bad lunch…

Riku cast him another concerned look, then glanced back up to Yuffie. He flashed a grin. "Coke." 

Leon shrugged. "Mr. Pibb." 

"Mr. Pibb." Cloud raised his hand a little. 

As Yuffie nodded, scribbling this down, Sora sighed, lowering his head a little, staring forlornly at the table. His lower lip jutted out in a customary pout, but he couldn't help it. He was depressed. 

Riku wrapped an arm around Sora's shoulders, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Sora looked up into his aqua-green eyes, took some reassurance in that. He smiled brightly for Riku. Riku somehow sensed that it wasn't genuine, but he only leaned over, kissing Sora's cheek softly. 

"Whatever's wrong…It'll be okay," he whispered to Sora's ear before pulling away, lowering his arm respectfully. The two knew their manners about groping each other in public. It was rude.

Sora looked at Riku, saw the love radiating from him…How could he just dismiss Riku so easily for Leon? Riku…He had loved Riku for so long. Ever since they were little. It was a love bonded from the very beginning. Riku cared for him, and despite their rivalry, always made sure that he was okay. 

Leon…He had only known Leon for three years. Leon…If Sora was ever hurt, ever feeling down, Leon wouldn't say anything. The most he'd do is maybe place a hand on Sora's shoulder, then walk away. If Sora talked to him, he wouldn't even look like he was listening, and when the boy was done talking, all he'd receive was an "Are you finished yet?" Or "Tell it to a wall". 

Leon…Leon had crushed his feelings so many times…

What was he doing…? Why was he getting so jealous of Leon? Leon couldn't care less for him…He was cold…He would never care for Sora. Their age differences were great, he was always so distant…Sora had tried to get close before, and Leon had pushed him away, not always so politely, either. Now Leon, out of the blue, was coming onto Sora? Sure, Leon had admitted he didn't know if he liked Sora or not, but…But…

Headache. Big, major headache.

Leon watched Sora closely, watched him sigh, slumping back in his chair, blue eyes looking up to the ceiling. Riku watched him, frowning a little, and squeezed Sora's hand. Leon frowned himself when Sora squeezed back.

Uncomfortable, he looked to Cloud. Cloud gave him a look that said "I told you so, I told you so, I told you so, _I told you so_!" 

Leon glared. Cloud shrugged. 

_I won't give up…_Leon thought, remembering his vow. He moved closer to Cloud conspicuously, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulders. Cloud rolled his eyes when Riku and Sora weren't looking, then rested his head on Leon's shoulder, giving a happy sigh. 

Leon shifted a little, and Cloud melded into his side perfectly. Leon blinked, staring down at the mop of spiky, blond hair, his brow furrowing. Cloud's head rested on the curve of his neck, one of his hands had moved to rest on his stomach, the clawed one. Leon could feel the claws lightly digging into his muscles, and he refrained from shivering as tingles spread down his spine. That felt…Really nice. 

Feeling Sora's eyes on them, Leon smirked a little, dropping a kiss to Cloud's temple. Sora glared a little, then looked away, as if he had done no such thing. 

Cloud looked up at him, tilted his head a little. He was glaring, one eyebrow quirked. "Did you have to _kiss _me?" he mouthed.

"That's not a kiss," Leon mouthed back, raising an eyebrow in return, smirking. "But I can give you one."

Cloud refrained from shuddering, closing his eyes and shaking his head, and returned to resting his head on Leon's shoulder. 

_That'll shut him up for a while_, Leon thought, idly reaching up, stroking Cloud's mane of blond hair. He had left his gloves off in respect for the date, and he slowed his strokes a little, feeling the silkiness of Cloud's hair press up against his fingers. _Hm…_

Cloud could feel tingles spreading down his spine. His eyes were closing, growing hooded. His claws were digging into Leon's stomach a little more, and he felt a shiver go through Leon against him. That felt really nice…No one had ever stroked his hair before. 

Really…Nice…

Whoa! Wait! Hold! 

"Food…" He pulled away from Leon, grabbing his menu and clearing his throat. Why was it so hot in here all of a sudden? "Food…Food, food, food…" As he murmured this, he had unconsciously started taking the menu and waving it, fanning himself as he looked around the diner.

_I'm not gay_, he thought firmly. _I'm not. I've just never had someone stroke my hair before. My body was reacting. It's supposed to do that. It's natural. _

Not gay…he sang within his mind. _Not gay. Not gay! You hear me!? NOT GAY! _

_You know you want to_, his mind taunted. 

He paused, movements of his menu-flapping stopping. _Want to what? _

His deep, dark, subconscious side purred. 

Cloud opened his menu, pretended to be absorbed in it like the others as he peeked to the side to look at Leon. Leon's brow was furrowed in concentration as he read what was on the menu. The diner was new, so Leon hadn't had time to memorize the food choices yet; not that he went to diners a lot, anyway. 

Leon's shaggy hair fell around his face, his stormy eyes studying the menu, scanning over the choices. 

Cloud let his gaze travel down a little as an experiment. 

Leon's T-shirt was tight against his taut chest, letting his muscles show completely. His muscular arms were tanned, resting lightly on the table, but not his elbows—Leon had very good dinner manners. His leather pants clung to his legs in a sensual way…

Feeling Cloud's gaze on him, Leon blinked, tore his gaze away from the menu, looked at Cloud. He raised an eyebrow. "Cloud?" 

Cloud blinked, looking up, face flushing at having being caught staring. He had just been curious, that was all, he didn't want Leon to get the wrong idea! "Yeah?" 

"…You were staring off into space."

Riku and Sora watched them curiously.

"Uh…" Cloud coughed, flashed him a smile as he set his menu down and clasped his hands together on the table. He stared directly into Leon's eyes. "You're just so _fascinating _to watch, Leon, I couldn't help myself." 

Leon smirked, said nothing, went back to looking at his menu. Cloud refrained from slumping in relief. He saw Sora glaring at him a little out of the corner of his eye. Deciding that he might as well play this game to its fullest, he turned to Sora, smiled broadly, and gave a cheerful wave.

Sora returned the wave, though his eyes showed how reluctant he was. Those big, sapphire pools always had given away everything he was feeling. Like when the two were at the Coliseum and Cloud had turned down a match against Sora. His eyes had gone all puppy-like; his lower lip had jutted out as he slumped. Adorable, really.

Cloud froze, looked at Sora again, looked down at his plate. 

"…" 

_Oh, gods…Not him, too! _

Leon leaned close and muttered to Cloud's ear, and his warm breath caused tingles to spread down Cloud's spine, "You see what I mean?" 

Cloud looked up at him with a slightly confused look. "What?" he mouthed.

Leon's face was expressionless. "Sora," he whispered.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, since we decided to drop you off first, Cloud," Sora said, grinning, folding his arms over his chest. "Here you are."

"I'll walk him," Leon mumbled, grabbing Cloud's arm, beginning to pull him to the door that led inside his house. They stopped on the stoop. "…Thanks."

Cloud shrugged. He was just happy to get out of there. "No problem, Leon." 

Leon ran a hand through his hair. "…One more thing." 

Before Cloud could question what, Leon stuck his hands in his pockets, leaned over, and kissed Cloud firmly on the lips. 

There wasn't any warmth radiating from the stoic man, though from a distance, like from how far Sora and Riku were away, it would look tender, lover-like. Cloud, if he admitted it to himself, wanted to experiment—he didn't want his first—and last—kiss with a guy to be completely horrible. Though a vague part of his mind told him wasn't that how it was supposed to be if he was straight? 

The only person he had ever kissed had been Tifa, and one time Aerith, but for both, it hadn't been very right. But now, standing here with Leon…He couldn't really describe if it was right or wrong—because it was both.

Cloud brushed his lips against Leon's just as the man began to pull away, and Leon hesitated, surprised. He stood there, tilting his head a little to the side, blue eyes narrowing a bit suspiciously. Cloud smirked and leaned up, kissing Leon deeper than before, an actual kiss this time, and looked him directly in the eyes while he did so. 

Leon didn't know what Cloud was doing. This had all been for an act…The kiss was supposed to be the final touch for the day. And now Cloud was returning the kiss? And not in a completely rude way? 

Cloud closed his eyes slowly, kissing Leon softly again. Leon didn't respond, raising an eyebrow, but once he saw that he and Cloud were receiving curious stares, he inwardly groaned. He only hoped that Cloud wasn't just messing with him…Or he'd have to kick the blonde's ass later. 

Hesitantly, Leon leaned in a little once more, and tentatively kissed the blond back. A happy sigh brushed against his lips, and Leon couldn't help the smirk that quirked at the corner of his mouth as he raised a hand from his pocket, cupping Cloud's cheek. He slid it along the soft skin, over his ear, and into that spiky mane, stroking slowly as their lips parted. 

Cloud's eyes fluttered open, and Leon placed a whisper of a kiss to Cloud's brow before dropping his hand, nodding, and walking back towards Sora and Riku. 

When the trio was out of sight, Cloud collapsed, burying his hands in his hair and resting his elbows on his knees. He closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath, then slowly letting it out. 

_I'm doomed. _

*~*~*~*~*~*

"You were looking at him! Like that!" 

Sora backed away at Riku's harsh tone, tears filling his eyes. "I'm sorry, Riku!" He placed a hand to his stinging cheek where Riku had backhanded him. "I didn't mean to!"

Riku growled at him, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "If you hadn't meant it, Sora, love, you wouldn't have done it!"

"Please!" Sora cried as Riku advanced. "Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me again!" The tears spilled down his cheeks. "I love you!" Sora sobbed, curling into a ball against his bed, shielding his face with his arms against Riku. 

Riku stared down at him with wrath showing in his now glowing aqua green eyes. "How do I know that?" 

"Aren't we allowed to look!?" Sora cried. 

"I don't look at anyone else but you!" Riku shouted with fury. "Damn you! Don't you understand how much I love you!?" 

Sora's muffled sobs were the only thing that filled the room.

Riku sighed, kneeling down beside Sora. He placed a hand on Sora's arm, then gently pulled the boy into his lap. Sora hesitated, then choked on a sob, wrapping his arms firmly around Riku, crying into the silver-haired boy's chest. 

"I'm sorry," Riku whispered, stroking the boy's cinnamon-colored locks. He dropped a firm kiss to Sora's temple. "I…Don't know what came over me. I'm…Really sorry. I…Just got so jealous…This rage…"

Sora nuzzled Riku's chest. "The darkness?"

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but…" Riku turned his head to the side, closing his eyes. "Yeah." 

Sora pulled away a little, reached up and touched Riku's cheek. Riku looked at him. Sora smiled. "I'll help you." 

Riku frowned. "What?" 

Sora kissed Riku deeply, wrapping his arms around the silver-haired boy's neck. His sapphire blue eyes closed, and Riku let out a pleased sigh, wrapping his arms around Sora's waist, stroking the small of his back slowly. His eyes drifted closed, as well. 

"I love you, Riku," Sora murmured against Riku's lips, straddling the other's hips, running his hands into the other's silver locks. He rested his forehead against Riku's, closing his eyes again. "Don't ever leave me…"

"I won't," Riku promised, smiling faintly. "I'll be here forever." He placed a hand over Sora's heart. "Our destinies our intertwined, remember?"

Sora nuzzled Riku's nose. "I know how to help you escape the darkness, Riku…" he whispered. 

Riku's grip tightened on his Sora. "How?"

Sora kissed Riku softly, cupping his cheeks in his hands, smiling softly when he pulled back and stared up into Riku's eyes. He leaned in again as Riku pulled him closer, trailing his hands up under Riku's skin-tight shirt, feeling the muscles contract, then loosen. 

_My love for you, Riku, will prevail through anything. _

*~*~*~*~*~*

Growling and grunting in frustration, Leon hacked at invisible foes, the Gunblade whooshing through the air. He didn't stumble, his balance was perfect as his booted feet slid along the stones in the cavern he had opted to train in for a while now—three years, if you wanted to get specific. 

The invisible foe came at him, charging head on, and Leon brought his Gunblade under, then up, slashing the non-existent Heartless in half. Leon whirled, bringing the Gunblade to the side, then diagonally down, to the side again, up. Three invisible foes fell away. 

Sweat was beaded on his brow; his shaggy mane clung to the sides of his face and the back of his neck. His chest heaved as he had been fighting the foes since the lunch date with Cloud, Riku, and Sora was over. After Sora and Riku had been left at the house, he had gone here, intent on thinking, but before he had known what he was doing, he was unsheathing his Gunblade and charging with a battle cry that came from deep within the depths of his soul. 

He ran forward, raising a palm to start up a Fire spell, but quickly banished it just as he skidded to the left, then brought the Gunblade up, blocking a non-existent attack. He dropped to his knee, taking the pommel of his Gunblade in both hands and bringing it down sharply to his side, jabbing the air. Then he was up again in a flash, swinging the Gunblade up diagonally, then down and to the side in a perfect horizontal slash. 

He had taken the bullets out of the Gunblade so he wouldn't shoot anything, and they rested heavily in his pocket. He had an urge to use them, but not on an invisible foe. He had an urge to use it on that silver-haired bastard that had come back into Sora's good graces, causing the cinnamon-haired boy to shove him aside.

Leon gritted his teeth, hacking at the air again, thinking dimly that he should take an old friend's habit and begin beating the shit out of a punching bag. But the blade would always do more damage in a sense. 

Sure, he had lasted through that lunch without letting on to the hate he was particularly feeling. He couldn't let Sora see what he was putting him through, or else that would give way to vulnerability, and he didn't want anyone to see that. At least not Riku. Normally, Leon wouldn't have minded showing just a piece of himself to Sora, because the boy would always look so pleased, thinking he had accomplished something. And maybe he had…

Leon slumped to one knee, using the Gunblade to hold him up. He rested his forehead against his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. Sweat trickled down his face, caused his shirt to cling to his chest, his leather pants becoming rather uncomfortable, but he ignored it. His jacket was already discarded, somewhere off to the side. For a moment, Leon considered taking a dive in the water around Merlin's house, then discarded the idea. No…He still had more rage to vent. 

How could Sora trust Riku? Wasn't Riku the one that had treated him like shit during Sora's journey to seal all the keyholes? Keeping that Kairi girl from him? Wasn't Riku a puppet for Maleficent, an icon for Ansem to control? That's what Sora had told them…So how could Sora forgive him so easily?

Leon thought about that for a few moments, then slumped. Isn't that what his old friends had said about Seifer when Rinoa had died and Leon had turned to the blond man? And he had ignored them…In the end he had lost everything. 

Sora was…Sora was his light, in a sense…He didn't want to give him away…Especially to that Riku. If Sora kept on as he did, Sora would lose everything, too. 

_Just give him up, _Leon thought, swallowing against the dryness in his throat. _Please? I won't ask for me…But just…_

He sighed, standing slowly, running a hand through his sweaty hair. _What can I do to convince you that I…_

_Fuck. I don't know what I need. But I know what I want…You. I want you. _

_Don't make me stoop down to Riku's level, or it won't be pretty. Riku's one of those dominating people…I can see it, I heard it the other night. Is that what you want, Sora? If it is…Maybe I can…Give that to you…_

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Is Riku gone?" Leon asked as he entered the house, tossing his jacket to the table, placing his Gunblade beside it. He folded his arms over his chest, glaring at Sora as the teenager came into the kitchen at the sound of the door slamming.

Sora nodded, brow furrowing. Leon was angry…And sweaty…He must have been training—so that's where he had gone. It should have been obvious, but Sora had…been distracted, so to speak.

Sora tried not to look at Leon, but it was impossible. The man's shirt was clinging to his muscles, soaked with sweat, his muscular arms glistened in the light in the kitchen. His dark hair was falling around his face, just begging to have hands embedded in it. Even his lips, set into their usual scowl, seemed to whisper for another set of lips to be latched onto them.

The cinnamon-haired boy unconsciously licked his lips slowly, then realized what he was doing as Leon's eyes darkened with…lust? 

"Yeah, Riku's gone," Sora said, turning away and trying to fight down the tightness in his pants. He bit his bottom lip. "He wanted to go explore Traverse Town on his own for a bit, he didn't have much of a chance to last time. He wanted to think, so I let him go alone." There had been protesting, of course, but Sora had insisted on it. In the end, Riku had agreed, but not without a last, suggestive kiss…

Suddenly, there was warm breath on the back of his neck, causing him to tense as a tingle spread down his spine. "Leon?" 

"I want you, Sora." Words whispered to his ear, the tip of a tongue darting along his lobe before the lobe was taken into a hot mouth briefly. Hands came down around him at the table, trapping him in between it and the Gunblade expert. 

Sora fought down a shiver as aqua green eyes flashed into his mind. "I…" He made himself say the words, hoping he wouldn't hurt the other's feelings. "I don't want you, Leon." 

A pause. "Really?"

He nodded, swallowing. "Really, Leon."

A hand slipped down his shorts and boxers and cupped the now painful erection between his legs, causing him to let out a loud mewl and fall back against a firm chest. 

Leon's voice came again, husky and underlying with lust, with desire. "Then what's this?" 

Sora didn't answer as Leon's thumb rotated in a lightly pressured way on the head of his shaft, causing him to bite his bottom lip, his eyes rolling a little into the back of his head. Leon's hand was warm. 

"Leon," he managed to rasp at last as the said man caressed the heat between his legs. "Leon…No…We shouldn't…You've got C-Cloud, and I've got Ri—"

"We shouldn't, but you want to," Leon whispered, nibbling his ear, wrapping his other arm around Sora's chest and pulling him back against him fully. 

Sora could feel Leon's arousal pressing at his lower back, and another mewl came from his throat, loud and purring. Sora found himself raising his arms behind him, wrapping them around Leon's neck, pulling the man's lips down to his as he turned his head a little. Leon slid his tongue along Sora's bottom lip, nipping afterwards, tugging in a not so gentle way. He licked the teen's lips again, demanding entrance, and Sora complied, lost in a lustful haze of which he hadn't experienced before. Their tongues twined, and Sora moaned into his mouth with a purr underlying it as Leon began stroking his shaft. 

Sora raised himself a little, then ground his hips down, causing Leon to groan. Leon reflexively thrust his hips, and Sora ground down again, his ass rubbing in a firm way against Leon's erection. Both groaned into each other's mouths, and Sora's fingers curled into Leon's shaggy hair, pulling, then fisting. 

Leon's hand pulled the zip on Sora's zipper down, and the man slid his hand inside Sora's shirt, running his palm along the muscles of the teen's abdomen. Sora groaned, grinding against Leon's hips again, his eyes hooded as Leon thrust back in return. When Leon teased a nipple, tweaking the pert nub between his thumb and index finger, Sora let out another groan, bringing his lips to Leon's again, panting heavily. 

"Mewl for me," Leon hissed, his grip on Sora tightening when their lips separated, followed by a thin trail of saliva. 

Sora did so as he saw Leon's darkened eyes, the man's shaggy mane tickling his cheeks and forehead. The mewl was full of need, of want, and he leaned up with a whimper, wanting to taste more of Leon. 

Abruptly, however, Leon let him go, and Sora collapsed, his knees weak. Leon stared down at him for a few moments before picking up his jacket and Gunblade. 

"Think of what you really want, Sora," Leon told the teenager in a cool tone as he pivoted and walked briskly to his room, slamming the door and locking it. 

Sora stared after him in a bit of a daze, not entirely sure what had happened. He slid to his bottom on the floor, looking down at his unzipped shirt, then back up at where Leon had been standing seconds before. He stared at his hands, heard an echo of his hoarse moans in his mind.

Suddenly, he felt so dirty.

Slowly, slowly, tears burned at the back of his eyes, then spilled down his cheeks as he curled up in a ball on the floor and cried.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"So how did the lunch date go?" Aerith questioned, setting a cup of hot tea before Cloud as she sat at the table across from him. She smiled, propping her elbows up on the table, resting her chin on her clasped hands, green eyes bright. "Was it fun, Cloud?" 

Cloud sighed, stirring the tea bag around in his cup, then leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. "On some levels."

Aerith's brow furrowed curiously. "Like what?" she prompted.

Cloud slumped gloomily. "Well…I think we succeeded in making Sora jealous."

Aerith chuckled a little, lowering her hands, and shook her head. "Really?"

Cloud nodded, staring off at something no one else could see. "Yeah…Poor kid. He doesn't know what he's standing up against." 

"The undefeatable duo?" Aerith raised an eyebrow, watching Cloud until the blond looked at her again. "Cold Leon and Straight Cloud?" 

"About that…" Cloud's claws began tapping on the table. He looked around, at anywhere but her, then finally settled on staring up at the ceiling. "…Leon kissed me before he left with Riku and Sora." 

Aerith looked slightly surprised, then nodded, as if it all made sense—and it did, in her eyes. "Well, yeah…" she began to explain, "That's what couples do when the date is over." She smiled fondly. "Kiss before they go their separate ways. You know, stand there and make goo goo eyes until you gain the nerve to actually kiss." She giggled a little. "Though I can't imagine Leon making goo goo eyes at _anyone_, no matter _how_ cute you think you are, Cloud."

"…I…" Cloud thought about how he was going to say this…The words seemed to catch in his throat, and he had to force them out, albeit slowly, carefully, "…I kissed him back."

Aerith smiled again. "Well, of course, Cloud. You couldn't just stand there like the ice statue you claimed Leon to be, or Riku and Sora would get suspicious."

Cloud folded one arm over his chest, shaking his head, then bowing it and placing a hand to his temple. "No…I mean…I _kissed _him back."

There was silence for a few moments before Aerith's eyes widened. "Oh." 

Cloud blinked, looking up at her. That wasn't the reaction he had been expecting. "Oh?"

"Oooooooh." Aerith bit her bottom lip, as if it was suddenly all dawning on her. "_Ooooooooooh_. Well, this is…certainly…"

Just as Cloud said "Unexpected?" Aerith leaned back in her chair a little and said, "Not a surprise."

Silence.

Aerith frowned. "Why would it be unexpected, Cloud?" she asked at the same time Cloud cried, "NOT A SURPRISE!? WHAT!?" 

Aerith started giggling. "Cloud…It's…Kind of obvious that you like Leon…"

Cloud stared at her blankly. "Come again?"

Aerith leaned forward again, clasping her hands on the table, green eyes carrying their usual brightness. "Cloud…" she began slowly, and it was obvious she was trying not to fall out of her chair laughing as he glowered at her. "Cloud, well, you see…Your eyes have tendencies to stray…Over to our certain Gunblade specialist." 

Cloud continued glaring at her. "I only looked today. I don't see what you're going on about." 

Aerith sighed, shaking her hand, waving a hand before her. "You look all the time, you just don't notice you're looking. Leon knows you look." 

Cloud blinked. "What?"

Aerith burst into giggles, clutching her sides. "Ever wonder why he suddenly just sits there and starts glaring at you for no reason?" 

Cloud's brow furrowed. "Yeah…"

"Hee…Hehe…It's because he caught you staring!" 

Cloud's cheeks began to color. "…I was staring at him and I didn't notice, but Leon noticed, and he glared at me…Gods…" He buried his face in his hands. "…" 

Aerith smiled. "You're so cute when you blush, Cloud." She reached over, taking his hand in hers, and used her other hand to pat the back of his sympathetically. "It's okay, Cloud."

Cloud sighed. "I'm not gay. I'm not. I just…Agh, I don't know how to describe it!" 

Aerith shook her head a little. "Maybe you were just experimenting? You've always had this curiosity for it subconsciously. Maybe the chance finally revealed itself for you to experiment and see. Maybe you've just never been completely positive. I don't know, Cloud."

Cloud frowned thoughtfully for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, that seems like a good reason…That's probably what it is." He gave a half-smile.

_Leon's fingers drifted over his cheek, brushing against his ear, into his hair as his lips gently caressed Cloud's. _

He tried not to let the half-smile falter as Aerith changed the subject to what she had gone shopping for that day. 

_Then why did I _like _kissing him back? _

*~*~*~*~*~*

__

I was standing on the beach back home on our play island on Destiny Islands. Water was stretching out at my feet for as far as I could see, the sun was rising in the distant horizon, casting pinks and purples into the air, making the water shimmer in the most beautiful way.

But it wasn't as beautiful as you.

You stood there, holding out your hand to me, the water playing off your slim form. You weren't as you were three years ago, but older now, like you should be now, and your silver hair was fluttering in the breezes, begging to have my hands embedded in it. 

The water was glistening off your arms in droplets and grains of sand and salt. Your aqua green eyes bore straight into mine, and you ran your tongue along your bottom lip slowly. 

I called out for you, laughing, running into the water, trying to reach you. 

"Hey!" I cried. "Let's get out of the water!" 

You smiled at me and shook your head, holding out your hand again, inviting me to take it. 

But this time…

It wasn't a tidal wave that held me back.

Just as my fingers almost brushed yours, everything snapped back and rippled out, leaving our images distorted. The sky fell away, black night enclosing over it, stars appearing. The salty air gave way to crisp coolness; the water vanished to be replaced by stone and brick walls. 

You weren't there anymore. He was. 

I hesitated, unsure of what was happening, and took a step back, watching him as he watched me.

He stood there calmly, leaning against a street wall before me, one leg folded over his shin, boot tip scraping the ground this way, arms folded over his chest, shaggy hair falling around his face and casting it into shadows, but his blue eyes still pierced mine easily. 

Smiling now that I was certain it was really him, I moved forward, biting my bottom lip. "Hey," I called, "What are you doing?" 

He turned his head to the side, closing his eyes. "You want him, don't you?"

I frowned. "…What?"

He returned his eyes to mine. "It's obvious, isn't it? You want him. He wants you." He took a step toward me, detaching himself from the wall like a wraith from a shadow. Uncertain now, I took a step back, eyeing him warily. He smirked at this, stopping, and so I did, as well. "But does he need you?" 

Everything shifted with a dizzying tilt, and then his arms were around me. He held me against him, smiling faintly, resting his brow on mine. I relaxed at the affectionate gesture, slipping my arms around his neck, and closed my eyes. 

"He doesn't need you," he whispered against my lips. "I need you." 

I jerked away, scared suddenly. "He does need me! He does!"

He shook his head, laughing a little, running a hand through his hair. "He just wants you for his selfish needs. Don't you see? He's been away in Kingdom Hearts the whole time, and now he suddenly contacts you again? I've been here for you the past three years. He's only been here for you a week."

"He's been with me my entire life!"

"As your best friend," he replied easily, "but now he wants to be your lover?" He tucked his hands into his pockets, shaking his head again, and chuckled a little more. "You really are a little runt. If you really believe that he cares for you." 

I spun, running as fast as I could, and his laughter chased after me even as everything rippled away and gave way to sand again. 

I collapsed to my knees, my fingers buried in the sand, panting for air, gasping. He's lying, isn't he? You need me, don't you? Don't you?

I look up. As I stand, everything ripples once more, and it's raining. You're standing before me, smiling reassuringly, cupping my cheeks in your hands. You lean forward under the dark skies, kissing me softly, then letting your hands trail down to mine to lead me back to the Secret Place. I follow willingly, kissing you with need, but you're kissing me with…Lust? Desire? 

I pull away, staring up at you in shock, the rain dripping off my face as it drips off yours. Your aqua green eyes don't carry the need I need to reassure me. It's…All lust. 

Riku? 

Sora jerked upright with a start, eyes snapping open, bathed in a cold sweat, gasping for air. 

Sora stared at his hands for a moment, then ran them through his hair, letting out a long sigh, his breathing slowly calming down. As the sound of soft pattering reached his ears, he glanced to his window to see rain moving down it in streams. There was a rumble, and Sora took it as thunder. The area outside lit up momentarily before giving way to darkness and water again. 

Sora sighed, looking down at the sleeping form beside him. Riku was lying on his side, the sheets pulled up to his waist, one arm above him on the pillows where Sora's head had rested. His other arm was resting on his waist, his hand flat on his stomach. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and even.

He looked like a fallen angel. 

Riku…His Riku…

Sora gave him a last, lingering look, then moved to crawl over the boy, needing something to do. Maybe he could get a glass of water and try and shake off that dream…

Did it mean anything? Leon had been so insistent that Riku didn't need him. In the end, Riku hadn't needed him…Was Sora just Riku's sex toy? Did he not care about him at all?

Sora's eyes filled with tears at that, and he sat back down, burying his face in his hands, sniffling, letting out a soft, wounded mewl. The tears flowed down his wrists, along his arms, before landing on the sheets. 

"Muu…Riku…" he said in a whimper. "I love you…Don't you love me?" 

The tears fell faster. 

"Sora?"

"Riku?" Sniffling, he looked up. 

Riku stared down into his watery, sapphire eyes. He sighed softly, cupping Sora's cheeks, brushing the tears away with this thumbs. He leaned down, kissing Sora softly on his lips, then kissing his forehead. "Why are you crying?" 

Sora's eyes watered again. More tears slipped down his cheeks, and Riku kissed them away this time. "…You don't love me, do you, Riku?" 

Riku pulled back sharply, aqua green eyes wide as he stared at Sora in shock. The cinnamon-haired boy stared back up at Riku, his lower lip jutting out despite his attempts to not pout. 

Riku's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What gave you that impression, Sora?" 

Sora bowed his head, looking away. 

Riku reached out, grasping his chin, and gently tilted his head back. "Who?"

"No one," Sora mumbled, pushing the hand away.

Riku's hand snaked out, grasping Sora's wrist tightly, and Sora cried out, wincing. Riku pulled Sora close, aqua green eyes glowing angrily. "I love you, Sora." 

"Then why are you hurting me?" Sora snapped, yanking his wrist away and scrambling quickly away from Riku, holding it to him. His sapphire blue eyes glared at Riku spitefully. 

Riku looked to be having an eternal battle. His expression was twisting in a look of outrage, yet at the same time, he squeezed his eyes shut, fighting it off. After a few, straining moments, he leaned over to Sora, expression calm again.

Sora flinched when Riku touched his cheek. 

Riku frowned. "…Sora?"

"If you loved me, you wouldn't hurt me!" Sora cried, tears falling down his cheeks again. His shoulders shook with his silent sobs as he sniffled, dragging his lower lip between his teeth. He scooted away even more from the silver-haired boy, drawing his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. "You just want me for sex! For yourself! You don't need me or love me!" 

"That's not true!" Riku cried angrily, defensively. "I love you, Sora!"

"Then why have you only started being there for me if you could have been there at any time in the last three years!?" Sora shouted around a sob. 

Silence.

Sora watched Riku's blank expression, then let out a mournful mewl, curling up in a ball on the bed, burying his face in his arms and just praying Riku would go away and leave him alone. His heart ached because he knew Riku was being silent because Sora had said the truth. 

Abruptly, Riku lay down beside him, pulling the cinnamon-haired boy to him despite his protests, and wrapped his arms around him. He buried his face in Sora's hair, and Sora tensed, about to snap at Riku for even daring to touch him, but Riku's words halted this action. 

"…I was afraid," Riku whispered to Sora's ear, stroking his hair slowly, his other hand rubbing Sora's back. He pulled Sora a little more to him, and Sora found himself shifting, uncurling and snuggling close to Riku. He wrapped his arms around the silver-haired boy's waist and buried his face in his neck. He let the soothing motions of Riku stroking his hair and back calm him. 

"Why were you scared?" Sora asked, voice muffled, but sending a puff of warm air on Riku's neck, causing him to shiver.

"Well…I thought, at the time, that you liked Kairi. I lived in fear of you rejecting me…You don't…know how much I feared being rejected…That was one of Ansem's tools against me…Using you as bait to get me to fall to his will when I was able to fight the darkness…" 

Riku curled around Sora, burying his face in the boy's neck, clutching him to him tightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered against Sora's neck. 

Sora was surprised when he felt a tear move over his skin. 

"I'm really sorry," Riku breathed, shoulders shaking. 

"Sora…?"

"Can't you forgive me?" His voice was full of agony. "I love you, Sora. Don't you believe me?"

Sora was silent, unsure of what to say as more tears moved over his neck, fell along the curve of his collarbone. He was still in Riku's arms, blue eyes open, wide, staring up at the ceiling as the silver-haired boy rolled to where Sora was lying on his back. 

"I love you…" he whispered, kissing Sora's neck, brushing his lips there before traveling up to kiss Sora's own lips. "I love you…" 

Sora continued staring numbly at the ceiling. "If you loved me, Riku…" he breathed, and Riku pulled away, staring down at him, but Sora wouldn't look at him. "If you loved me, Riku, why…don't I believe you?" 

Riku tensed, staring down at Sora in shock. 

Sora continued, whispering more to himself than to Riku. "It's funny…" 

Riku's eyes narrowed. "What's so funny? This isn't funny! Why don't you believe me?"

Sora smiled sadly up at the ceiling. "Because…" He laughed softly through his tears as they flowed from his eyes and streamed down his temples and into his cinnamon-colored hair. "We were both so busy fighting over Kairi…Before her, it was just me and you. We promised we'd go on an adventure one day…Do you remember that? Then when Kairi came along, you hardly paid attention to me anymore…Our battles were fought through play sword fights or racing or anything like that…But whenever we fought, I always got the impression that you weren't fighting me, you were fighting for Kairi. But Riku…" His eyes closed slowly. "I was always fighting for you." 

"Sora—"

"Don't…Let me finish," Sora whispered. "…I admit, Riku…That I missed you so much it hurt while you were gone…Even when the whole journey for me to lock all the worlds began…" He placed a hand to Riku's heart, opening his eyes, staring up at him. "Do you feel my heartbeat there, Riku?" Tears filled his eyes once more. "I felt…I felt yours in mine all the time. I never knew mine was in yours, too." He bit his bottom lip. "Sometimes, your heart would wrench and drag, and I'd cry, because I knew you were in pain…" 

Riku let out a long, shuddering sigh, and pulled away from Sora, rolling off him, sitting up and burying his face in his hands. 

Sora continued to lie where he was, watching the shadows from the neon lights outside play against his ceiling. "I can honestly say…That there hasn't been a day when I haven't thought of you." 

Riku said nothing, but as Sora glanced sideways and up, he could see that the silver-haired boy's shoulders were shaking. 

Sora took a long breath, then continued, his vision growing blurry, "But I can't say that you've thought of me everyday." 

"How can you say that?" Riku croaked, but he didn't move from where he was. 

"Because…" Sora stared up at the ceiling again, lying sprawled out as he shifted, one arm out and behind Riku, the other above him, his cheek touching his forearm, his head tucked into the crook of his elbow. "You haven't been to see me, even when you could…"

"I told you I was afraid of being rejected!" Riku cried weakly through his tears. His voice cracked, but it didn't matter, as in the next moment, muffled sobs reached Sora's ears. 

Sora could feel the pain quickly filling his heart, from both his and Riku's. "Riku…It doesn't matter…I was still your best friend." 

"The darkness—"

"Are you going to blame everything on the darkness?" Sora's eyes closed slowly.

"YES!" Riku shouted, startling Sora, and the boy's sapphire blue eyes snapped open to look up at his lover. Riku was glaring down at him furiously, tears that looked like tiny rivulets in an Elf's forest streaming silently down his pale cheeks. 

Riku's aqua green eyes glowed. Even though they were filled with hurt, they were filled with…love.

Sora looked away, biting his bottom lip guiltily even though he knew he had had to get his fear out, but Riku grabbed Sora's chin, jerking his face back to his. Sora swallowed at the fiery look now staring down at him from Riku's beautiful eyes. 

"I didn't find my light…Until you accepted me that day in the Alley when I came back," Riku said, voice steady even through his tears. "Then I knew I could live again. Without having ghosts haunt me. Yes, you thought we were still friends, but I didn't know if you had truly forgiven me or not. If you were still willing to be my best friend, Sora.

"I've thought of you everyday. _Everyday. _The darkness fought to control me from within, tempted me with my love for you, made me live in agony. I could feel your heartbeat in mine. At first, it was sad, but then, over the past three years it's grown happier. It made me ache. It made me live in agony. I couldn't stand it. 

"I love you, Sora. I thought that if I went back, I would be interfering with your happy life. That you didn't want me anymore, not even as an acquaintance. How do you think that made me feel!? The thought of destroying what you love, of tainting your new life!?" 

Riku scrubbed his hands over his face. "…When I found out you were fooling around with Leon—"

"I've never fucked him, Riku! How can you say that!?"

But Riku spoke louder, overriding Sora's voice. "It hurt me so bad I just wanted to die. You're mine. Don't you know that you're mine? We shared that paopu fruit, you're mine." 

"What about you!?" Sora was sitting up now, pointing angrily out to the side. "Are you mine!?"

"**_YES_**!" Riku shouted, snatching Sora by his shoulders, shaking him. "Yes! I love you, I love you, I love you! You're mine and I'm yours and that's how it's always gonna be! Nothing will change that! I won't let anyone have you, you're mine completely, _mine_, no one else can have you! I won't allow it! I'll kill anyone who touches you like I touch you!" His voice had risen to a shriek. 

Sora tried to shove Riku off, but the silver-haired boy had always been stronger, and so he gripped the cinnamon-haired boy tightly, refusing to let go. Sora stared up in horror at him, furiously trying to get away, fright filling him at the smirk planted across Riku's face. It was twisted, his whole face screwed into it, aqua green eyes glimmering. 

"If you found your light," Sora began desperately, "Then why are you still letting the darkness control you!?"

"Just because I found my light doesn't mean the darkness left! It doesn't work that way, Sora! There will always be the darkness!" He was wrestling with Sora, pinning him beneath him on the bed, bringing his lips with a crushing force down to Sora's. 

Sora didn't kiss back, fighting, struggling and kicking and hitting Riku's chest, but Riku only straddled Sora's waist, pinning Sora's wrists above his head, continuing to kiss him. He bit down hard, drawing a hiss from Sora, a cry of startled pain mixed into one, and Riku's nails dug into Sora's sensitive flesh. 

"Why are you hurting me?" Sora managed to gasp when Riku pulled away momentarily, only to cry out as teeth dug into his skin where Riku had marked him. Tears stung his eyes, flowed down his cheeks. "Riku, that hurts! Stop this!" 

"I love you," Riku hissed, moving to kiss Sora's lips with a bruising force, biting and suckling. "Showing you pain is the only way I can prove I love you!"

"Why?" Sora whispered. 

"The pain I went through for you…The pain I've experienced." Riku's eyes were cold, so cold, and it sent a shiver running down Sora's spine. "I want you to experience what I went through for you. To show you how much I love you. That way I can prove I love you." 

Sora realized something then. Maybe this was the only way for Riku to get the violence out of his system. The whole time, he had wanted to hurt Sora, to prove he loved him with brutality. Maybe if Sora just gave in, let him do as he wished, some wild part of Riku enforced by the darkness would be soothed. 

Sora took a deep breath, realizing he wanted to know. Wanted to know what Riku had gone through. The silver-haired boy felt that experiencing was the only way to truly know. Maybe it was? The mind wasn't the same for everyone. 

"Fine," Sora choked, then forced his rapidly beating heart to calm. "…I give myself over to you. You can do what you want with me. I love you, Riku." Tears blurred his vision again. "I'll do anything for you…"

But was this really the way to go about it? Sora had promised Riku he'd take all the darkness away, that he'd help him. Brutality wouldn't do it…

Sora leaned up, kissing Riku softly, sliding his arms about the silver-haired boy's neck. He closed his eyes, entangling his fingers in the long, silver locks, and held Riku to him. 

_I'll chase the darkness away, Riku…_ "I love you, Riku…" Sora whispered against Riku's lips. "I love you. You don't have to prove you love me. I believe you." He smiled, staring deep into Riku's eyes. "You're my light. I couldn't be here without you." He wasn't lying. It was true. If he hadn't thought about Riku during his journey or the past three years, knowing that deep down he'd see him again, he would have collapsed from heartbreak, from not being able to take it anymore, and would have let the darkness take over. He had always wanted to bring Riku back to the light. Here was his chance to do it…

"Really?" Riku whispered, voice trembling, the darkness fading from his eyes as they glowed with fear of being rejected. He wrapped his arms around Sora, burying his face in the cinnamon-haired boy's neck and letting out a muffled sob. "You believe me?" 

Sora let them fall back on the bed with a soft 'thump'. He rubbed Riku's back, sighing softly, and closed his eyes, resting his head against Riku's. "Yep. Our destinies are intertwined. If you lied, wouldn't I feel it within me?" Now he was sure…Sure that his Riku loved him. "We don't have to result to brutality…Do you know why? Because I love you. I would do anything for you. I would never wish harm upon you. You don't have to prove your love to me. Your word is enough. I have your word." 

Riku cried himself to sleep in Sora's arms that night.

*~*~*~*~*~*


	4. Maybe That's Why I Decided I liked Men

****

Disclaimer: Don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. Bummer… 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Vash's Girl: Hee…Well, here is the next chapter! Please enjoy! 

Behind Closed Doors

"All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid." 

****

Take my Breath—Evanescence

"Cloud…Cloud…" Yuffie called softly to the blond, crawling slowly up the length of the bed. "Cloud…"

He was still sleeping—though who wouldn't be at this time of the morning?—his Mako blue eyes closed. He wasn't snoring, as Cloud wasn't a person who snored, and his breathing was deep, even. His wing was folded comfortably at his side, and his cape was discarded on a nearby chair with his shirt and armor. He must have taken all this off, leaving his pants on, and fell asleep as soon as the back of his head hit his pillow. 

Yuffie grinned wickedly. He looked _so _peaceful. Well, not for long! The ninja had plans for him today. And if he didn't go along with it, hey, she always had her shurikens!

"Cloud…" she whispered, nose inches from his. "C'mon, Cloud…Time to get up," she said softly in a song-song tone of voice. 

He grunted, moving to swat her with the hand with his claws, and she moved out of the way just in time to avoid being hit by them. "Go. Away. Yuff. Ie." 

She blinked. "Well…I've never had my name used in two syllables before! Cool!"

He sighed in exasperation, eyes still closed, peaceful expression lost. "Yuffie," he mumbled, "_Please_. I'm trying to sleep." 

"Were you up all night dreaming of Squall?"

"_No_." 

"Then you're not allowed to sleep!" she huffed, folding her arms over her chest, knees on either side of his chest. "C'mon! Up!"

He said nothing, only rolled over, sending her scurrying over to the side slightly. She growled, then sat down on his back, putting all her weight atop it. "UP!"

SWOOP!

His wing came out and…

Yuffie looked up from her sprawled position on the floor with a mouthful of feathers, blinking owlishly. 

She spat them out, coughing, then growled, scrambling to her feet. She moved her hands up her arms, as if she had sleeves, then stormed back over to the bed. Fine, if he was going to be that way, two could play his game.

And so she jumped on the bed. 

"CLO-UD! CLO-UD! CLO-UD!" she cried, bouncing up and down, causing the blond to yelp and jolt into the air before landing back down, then up, then down, then up, then down… "CLO-UD!" She folded her arms over her chest, dodging a swipe from his leg and an arm, cackling. "Bring it, blondie!" 

"Yuffie, you are so dead!" he growled, hauling himself into a sitting position. When she jumped again, he grabbed her legs, moving her onto his shoulder, and stood from the bed. 

"ACK! Hey! Put me down!" She began beating on his back, avoiding where his wing was as Cloud began to move. She didn't know where, as everything was backwards and upside down. She tried kicking, but he had a firm grip on her legs. "CLOUD! PUT ME DOWN!"

He said nothing, just continued walking.

"You can't do this to me!" she yelped. "For I am the Great Ninja Yuffie!" 

"Yeah, and I'm tired." He dropped her on the floor, moved back into his room, and slammed the door. 

And so she did the next best thing that seemed to work like a charm everytime.

She sat in the middle of the hallway, threw her head back, and began bawling at the top of her lungs. 

A door opened down the hallway, and then there were footsteps padding along the floor. Seconds later, Aerith was kneeling beside her, shooing her and patting her back, asking what was wrong, one hand holding her robe together. 

"Cloud!" Yuffie wailed. "He's being mean to me again! He doesn't like me! He hates me!"

"Aw, you know that's not true," Aerith said softly, rubbing her back. 

"It is, too!" Yuffie cried, choking on a sob, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Geeze, she was the master of this. "He kicked me out of his room and dropped me here! I was only trying to wake him up!" She sniffled, wiping her eyes, before bursting into more tears. "What's so wrong with that?"

"Aw, it's okay, Yuffie…" Aerith stood, knocking on Cloud's door. "Cloud Strife, get out here right now!" 

The door immediately opened, and Cloud found himself facing an angry Aerith. "Look, Aerith…She's making it out to be worse than—"

"You _dropped _her outside? Have you no manners?" Aerith demanded, folding her arms over her chest. 

Cloud began protesting, "I was _sleeping_!"

"I was, too, but you don't see me throwing her out of my room!" 

"Yeah, but she wasn't—"

"I think this merits an apology. And it's up to Yuffie how she'll accept it." Aerith stood her ground firmly, green eyes boring hard into Cloud's.

Cloud shook his head. "Oh, no. She has this all planned out. She does this all the time and gets what she wants like a spoiled child." He folded his arms over his chest, Mako blue eyes staring back defiantly. "I'm not doing it."

Aerith's brow rose. "Oh, is that so? Alright, fine." She shook her head, kneeling beside Yuffie again. "C'mon, Yuffie. He's just being a big meanie. Even though he knows we wouldn't do this to him, he still does it to us. Well, that's fine. We're just better." She helped the ninja to her feet. "Come along, back to bed."

Cloud heaved an annoyed sigh, bangs fluttering. Well, when she said it like that… "Fine," he called after them as they started down the hallway. "What do you want, Yuffie? How can I make it up to you?" Three years with these two girls had softened him up. 

Yuffie grinned, though Cloud thought he could see an evil gleam in her eyes, and he swallowed. "Shopping!"

Oh, gods. He. Was. Doomed.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"So I had a plan," Yuffie chirped as she and Cloud made their way to the Second District. "The lunch date went along perfectly. Next step is being seen with Squall a lot. You get me?"

Cloud glared down at her. "We agreed for a lunch date. Nothing more."

She rolled her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. "Do you _honestly _think one lunch date is gonna do it?"

Cloud shrugged. "The kid looked jealous to me."

"Well, it's not!" she huffed as if he had said nothing, earning an annoyed glare. "You two…If you're acting like you're together, you've gotta be seen together, go places together, generally act like a couple. Ya got me?" 

Cloud ran a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes. "This wasn't how I fantasized spending my week, no." 

"More than a week if things go as planned," Yuffie said happily. "But first we gotta get Squall. And then we take him with us shopping. I'm gonna dress you two up. It'll be perfect!"

Cloud groaned. He could already see it now—this day was going to be Hell on Traverse Town. He figured he should be expecting to meet up with Hades again shortly. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

He didn't meet up with Hades, but he did meet up with the next thing closest to him—an angry Leon who had been woken up from his sleep. 

It was Sora who answered the door as Cloud raised his hand, knocking, waiting patiently while Yuffie told him to meet up with her in the First District by the Accessory Shop. Cloud had grumbled a reply, but all thoughts of remorse about how this day was going to be was lost as he stared at the half-naked Sora.

The cinnamon-haired boy blinked blearily up at him. "Cloud?" he mumbled, voice thick with sleep, sapphire blue eyes clouded with it. "What are you doing?"

Cloud folded his arms over his chest. "Is…Squall here?" 

Sora's eyes narrowed a bit at that, but he said nothing, only stepped aside, leaning against the doorframe as Cloud moved into the house. "I'd be careful," Sora mumbled, shutting the door, padding back to the direction that was his room. "Leon's cranky in the mornings. Unless you've got a death wish, I'd wait till he woke up himself, but then again, that's up to you." Sora sent him a spiteful look, then shut his door behind him, locking it. 

Cloud found his eyes appreciating Sora's ass before the cinnamon-haired boy had disappeared into his room. He shook his head, moving down the hallway that Sora had gone through, then knocked on the door to the left of Sora's. When he received silence, he waited for a few moments, then pushed the door open slowly, calling, "Leon?" 

The room was dark, shadows dancing across the wooden floor. There were few things in here, only the necessities, such as a dresser, a nightstand, and a bed. On the bed was a long shape covered in the shadows. When Cloud moved closer, his Mako blue eyes adjusting to the darkness in the room, he saw that the shape was Leon. 

Leon was lying on his back, one arm over his stomach diagonally, wrist at his hip, his other arm above him at the pillows, bent at his head, face tucked into that arm. The covers were at his waist, half falling off, revealing his tanned, muscular chest. 

Cloud studied him curiously for a few moments, noting the scars…Battle scars? Obviously. 

Intrigued, the blond took a step forward, reaching out, tracing a claw along a particular long, jagged scar that cut from his collarbone, slashed across his stomach, stopped at his narrow hip. It was stark white against the rest of his tan flesh, drawing Cloud's attention to it easily. 

Leon's eyes snapped open, boring into Cloud's, and for a moment, just a moment, there was a deadly, feral look in his eyes before it ebbed away, revealing relief and sleepiness. "Oh…It's just you."

"Just me?" Cloud raised an eyebrow, folding his arms over his chest. "Who were you expecting?"

Leon studied him for a moment, sitting up, one leg off the bed, hands in his lap, shaggy mane framing his face and falling along his shoulders. His gray eyes roved over the blonde's face, then rolled as he sighed, shaking his head. "…Whatever."

Cloud saw the shadows under his eyes. "Haven't been getting sleep lately?" 

Leon shook his head. "It's none of your business," he muttered, looking elsewhere. "What are you doing here so early, anyway?" he asked instead.

Cloud shot him a look. "…Yuffie wants to take us shopping."

"What?" Leon asked flatly. 

Cloud shrugged, explaining the situation softly so only Leon could hear—the events that had taken place that morning, leaving out Yuffie's comment about dreaming of Leon. When he was finished, the Gunblade expert rolled his eyes again.

"You've grown soft, Cloud."

Cloud gave a defeated sigh. "So I've noticed."

Just then, the door opened, and right when Cloud turned around to face Sora as he called tentatively "Leon?" whilst holding an empty glass, his face was grabbed in callused, slender hands and yanked back around. His eyes widened just before Leon's lips descended on his firmly. 

Cloud froze, numb, staring at Leon as the man squeezed his eyes shut. He was about to push away, but Leon's grip tightened almost painfully on his cheeks, and so he decided against this idea and stayed firmly in place. When it dawned on him that this was all part of the plan, he immediately slid into proper game-play and smirked, lips moving to kiss Leon back. 

_When this is over_, he thought, _I'm going to make everyone pay for taking what was left of my sanity away. _

Leon's lips were hot, soft, and Cloud's eyes slid closed as Leon stroked a thumb over his cheek. Cloud was beginning to get the impression that Leon was only being gentle with him because the blond was being forced to temporarily give up his life as a straight man, so to speak. Maybe it was gratitude, a returning of friendship. Maybe that was all crap and just an excuse to try and decipher the mysterious man who was pulling him into his strong arms. Maybe it was because Leon wanted to show Sora that he could be gentle…? Who knew? Cloud was beginning to really wonder if he actually cared or not.

Leon nibbled on Cloud's bottom lip, his hand sliding into Cloud's blond locks again, stroking slowly, like he had along his cheek. Cloud's heart hurt—he didn't know why, it just did. Maybe because he had never been shown such gentle affections such as this before. Maybe because he couldn't decide if he wanted this or not. Maybe he was thinking about too many maybes in the past two or three minutes. 

Cloud moved his hand to Leon's shoulder, remembering that Leon seemed to like his claws, and so he dug them in a little, watching them prick a little blood on Leon's shoulder before letting his eyes close again as a shiver swept through Leon. His other arm hooked around Leon's waist, and he found himself sprawled across Leon's lap and bed. When Leon pulled Cloud into his lap fully, pressing the blond against him, he complied, letting the haze hovering above his mind engulf him. 

There was a gasp, followed by a shatter, the sound of little pieces of something raining along the wooden floor, rolling, then moving to a stop. 

Leon and Cloud pulled away. Cloud would have done so faster, but Leon did so slowly, letting his kiss linger on Cloud's lips. He cupped Cloud's cheek in his hand, moving his face to the side to look at Sora. 

Sora was staring at them with wide, sapphire blue eyes. His hand was shaking, and the glass he had been holding had no doubt been dropped, the pieces all over the floor. He placed his shaking hand to his mouth, stumbling back a step, and for a moment, tears glazed his eyes before he blinked rapidly, forcing them back. 

He made a choked sound, taking in the mussed blond and the completely calm brunette. Sora didn't know why he was so upset about this; after all, he was with Riku now, but seeing Leon and Cloud together like that…It wasn't like before, when Leon had given Cloud a peck goodbye. These two had been…

Sora took a deep, calming breath. He wouldn't let this bother him. It was none of his business. He lowered his hand, ashamed to find it still shaking somewhat, and gave a warm, confident smile. "Sorry about that. Didn't know I had walked in on you two…" His gaze shifted to Leon, and he let his eyes lock with the Gunblade expert's. Challenge glinted in Leon's steely gaze, and Sora nodded, as if accepting it. The war was on. "I'll be back later to clean up this mess, Leon."

He turned, shutting the door behind him, taking a deep, quiet breath. He let his head fall back against the door, closing his eyes, lifting his hands to his hair to bury them in the cinnamon locks. He regained his nerves, still feeling unsteady from what he had seen, then opened his eyes and started down the hallway back to his room. He wasn't very thirsty anymore.

As soon as he stepped into the comfort of his dark room, however, he found himself pressed up against a wall, Riku's lips immediately latching onto his, hands fisting into his hair. Riku coaxed his lips to part, nibbling on them, suckling, pulling. Sora moaned and parted his lips, meeting Riku's tongue with his own, caressing the older boy's mouth, placing his hands on Riku's bare chest, palms flat over perked nipples. 

"Sora…" Riku whispered, wrapping his arms around Sora's neck and pulling his lips away, a trail of saliva following. He rested his forehead against Sora's. "I want you to see something…"

"O-Okay," Sora gasped, still trying to catch his breath and calm down. He hadn't been expecting that sudden attack—not that it was a bad one, mind you. 

Riku smirked, grabbing his hand, and yanked him to him. Sora's eyes passed down his slender body, and he noticed with a blush that Riku was nude at the moment. Sora licked his lips unconsciously, and raised the hand holding his to his cheek, closing his eyes and turning his face into it. He traced his tongue along Riku's lifelines, earning a gasp, and Sora nibbled on the delicate flesh a little. 

"Sora," Riku breathed huskily, watching this and finding it highly arousing. To show how exactly aroused he was, he grabbed the younger teen's hand, bringing it down to his shaft and wrapping it around it. 

Riku's eyes slid closed as Sora traced his fingers along his shaft, thumb brushing along the head, causing a low groan to escape his throat. When Sora dropped to his knees before Riku, placing his hands on the silver-haired boy's hips, Riku's breath quickened a little in anticipation. He buried his hands in Sora's hair and pulled the boy closer. 

Sora nuzzled Riku's thigh, nibbling and letting his tongue trace a slow path from there to his shaft. Riku's knees wobbled a little, and when Sora circled the head, they threatened to give out. Grinning, Sora held Riku tightly in place, taking Riku's shaft into his mouth, circling it briefly with his tongue. 

"Gods," Riku choked as Sora began to bob his head along the former's shaft slowly, the muscles in his stomach tightening, warmth spreading through him as he enjoyed the feeling of being engulfed into Sora's hot, wet mouth. His hands fisted into Sora's hair, and he thrust into the younger teen's mouth, and this time Sora didn't choke or pull away, only mewled and began giving him head faster. As the vibrations carried over to him, Riku groaned, pushing Sora's mouth closer. 

When Riku cried out and his semen shot into Sora's mouth, the cinnamon-haired boy swallowed it and licked his lips greedily, peering up at Riku with lust-filled eyes. 

Riku stared back down at Sora, panting for air, eyes hooded, licking his lips at the sight of Sora with his dripping cock in his hot little mouth. He groaned again, remembering what he wanted to show Sora, and urged the boy up, cupping his cheeks in his hands, stroking his thumbs along the boy's cheekbones. 

Sora nuzzled up to him happily, a bit of the cum that hadn't made it into Sora's mouth dotted on his cheeks. Riku licked it off, then wrapped his arms around Sora, burying his face in the boy's neck and exhaling. Sora mewled, rocking his clothed erection against Riku, causing Riku to hiss, desire filling him more greatly than before.

"You're just a bundle of sex nerves," Riku breathed, "Aren't you?"

"Only for you," Sora purred, running his hands up Riku's chest, biting into Riku's neck, letting his tongue slide out and soothe it afterwards. 

Riku was walking backwards towards the bathroom, putting Sora's arms around his neck, then sliding his hands down the younger teen's forearms and upper arms, gripping his hips tightly. "Say that again," he hissed. 

Sora smiled lazily, like a cat, and pressed himself against Riku again, rocking his hips against Riku's. "Only for you," he repeated in another purr, bringing his lips to Riku's.

Riku groaned into his mouth, thrusting back, then growing irritated with the barrier between them. He detached himself from Sora, albeit reluctantly, and let his fingers slide into the waistband of Sora's boxers. Grinning wickedly, he gently pulled them off, and they pooled at Sora's feet a moment before Sora jumped at Riku again, hands moving over the silver-haired boy. 

"I want to show you what we look like," Riku breathed against Sora's lips, then turned the boy around, pulling him back against his chest. He nuzzled Sora's hair, then rested his chin atop Sora's head, watching their reflection.

Both were mussed. Sora and Riku's hair were more unruly than usual, and both were coated in a thin layer of saliva and sweat. Sora's head was resting against Riku's shoulder, his lips parted and swollen, panting a little. He arched when Riku pressed the tip of his cock against Sora's ass. 

"You're so beautiful like this…" Riku whispered, tongue curling around Sora's earlobe before he nibbled on it. He let his hands trail down Sora's chest before wrapping his fingers around Sora's shaft. 

"Oh, gods…" Sora groaned around a mewl, eyes closing. 

"No…" Riku tsked, shaking his head. "Open your eyes and watch." 

Sora complied, eyes hooded, and Riku kept his eyes firmly on Sora's in the reflection as he lifted two fingers to his mouth, circling them with his tongue before lowering them behind Sora. Sora's breath quickened, his body tensing in anticipation, and Riku smirked slowly, probing Sora's entrance with one finger. When Riku's lover grabbed the sink before him tightly, Riku slid it past the inner ring of muscle before joining it with his second finger. He moved them within Sora for a few moments, listening to Sora's pants and whimpers, before removing his fingers, knowing that Sora could take him in now. 

Sora whimpered in protest, but quieted with more soft mewls as Riku pressed the head of his shaft against Sora's opening. Sora swallowed, tilting his head back, trembling. Riku entered him in one, swift thrust, causing Sora to cry out. He bit his bottom lip, eyes watering. He knew it wouldn't hurt for long, he had done this with Riku before, but _gods_ it hurt.

"Sssh," Riku breathed, eyes growing hooded again, body humming with the feel of Sora's tight ass wrapped around his cock. When he was sure Sora was adjusting to him properly, Riku pulled out, then thrust back in slowly, placing a hand around Sora's weeping shaft. Sora let out a low, guttural mewl, breath catching. 

There…That sweet pleasure…

"Fuck," Sora breathed, falling back against Riku as the silver-haired boy thrust into him again, his hands on Sora's shaft mimicking the motion. "Fuck, fuck…" Riku grunted and thrust in harder and faster than before. "_Fuck_!" Sora cried as his lover hit his A-spot. 

"Watch us in the mirror," Riku hissed, trembling from trying to control himself from ravishing Sora in and out right there. His voice was low, husky, and when Sora did as ordered and ground back against Riku, he had to fight this time just to keep his eyes open. 

"Riku," Sora half-mewled, half-groaned, "Oh, gods, _please_, don't take your time this time, I'm ready…Fuck me._ Fuck me _so hard I can't walk properly for a week."

"Sora," Riku hissed, burying his face in Sora's neck where he was still able to keep his gaze on the mirror. "You're going to wish you hadn't told me that. It's about to come true."

"Good," Sora breathed, then let out a loud moan as Riku pulled out, then pounded back in, hitting Sora's A-spot again. He pulled out once more, lifting Sora into his arms and forgetting about the mirror, and Sora pressed close, burying his face in Riku's neck and wrapping his arms about Riku's narrow waist. 

Riku pressed Sora up against the bathroom wall, biting down on his mark on Sora's neck, and proceeded to give Sora what he had asked for.

Minutes later, when Sora and Riku were both curled up on the fluffy rug on the bathroom floor, sticky with their sweat and their cum, Sora groaned, raising himself weakly and pushing Riku's bangs away from his eyes. He leaned down, kissing Riku softly, grinning slightly.

Riku stroked Sora's hip with his thumb, smiling lazily back. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Shopping!" Yuffie cried, hugging herself and squealing. She received a groan and a grunt in return, and so she whirled around, placing her fists on her hips. "Hold hands!"

Leon glared. "No."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Yuffie. You already dragged us out here…" 

"Don't care! Hold hands!" Yuffie smiled. "Please?"

Grumbling, Leon took Cloud's hand in his, sighing and looking elsewhere. Cloud, to show he felt the same way, shot Yuffie a dark, pointed glare. 

Yuffie shook her head. "Ya have to look enthusiastic about it! C'mon!"

Leon and Cloud exchanged looks, then nodded, sighing. Leon held Cloud's hand in a more gentle, affectionate way, twining his fingers with the blonde's. Cloud moved closer to Leon, resting his head on the taller man's shoulder, grasping Leon's forearm loosely. 

Yuffie was absolutely beaming. "Cute!" she cried delightedly. "Real cute! Alright, c'mon—shopping, here we come!"

As it turned out, 'shopping' took on a whole new meaning for Leon and Cloud. 'Shopping' with Yuffie meant dressing up for her in a whole bunch of stores, and they discovered this the first place they entered.

"Alright, here, um…" Yuffie grabbed the clothes she had bought, then tossed them at the brunette and the blond. "Here! Go try this on!" She gestured to the large dressing room, grinning. "Both of you can fit in there. I want you to see you two in them before we leave."

Casting her nasty looks, the two heaved sighs and walked resolutely into the dressing room, as if they were headed to the gallows.

"Why did we agree to let her do this again?" Cloud wondered aloud, pulling off his cape, then realized that Yuffie had bought the clothes first because of Cloud's wing. He tore a small hole in the first clothing, then nodded in satisfaction.

"Because you let two women have their way with you," Leon retorted contemptuously, turning his back on Cloud and pulling off his bomber jacket and shirt. 

Cloud ignored the comment, as his question had been rhetorical, anyway, and turned to face Leon, pulling the shirt up his arms. "Here—I, er…This shirt is too tight, I'm going to need help getting it on…"

Leon turned, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, then realized that Cloud was being serious and sighed, shaking his head. He let his new shirt fall to the floor, then moved over to his friend, but his eyes couldn't help but roam the blonde's perfectly sculpted chest.

"What?" Cloud asked slowly as Leon froze, eyes glued to him. When he saw the brunette unconsciously lick his lips, he flushed, wondering if getting help from Leon was a good idea, after all. "…" 

Leon pried his gaze away, remembering that this was all just an act, anyway, and contented himself with the thought that he would have Sora pretty soon. He grabbed Cloud's shirt in his hands, smirking, and gestured for Cloud to raise his arms. When the blond did so, Leon carefully began pulling it over Cloud's head. They had a bit of trouble with the wing fitting through it, but when the shirt was finally on properly, Cloud turned back around, and so Leon followed suit and pulled on his own shirt.

Cloud wondered to himself why this black shirt seemed tighter than his usual garments, but shoved the thought aside, shaking his head. Of course—it was made like that. He didn't know how long he would be comfortable in it, however, as it clung to his chest like a second skin. 

Sighing softly, he pulled off his boots and pants, leaving him barefoot and in his boxers and new shirt. Wing swishing and curling around his side comfortably, Cloud pulled on the new pair of pants, then examined them for a few moments after they were on. Five buttons lined down the front of the leather material that clung sensuously to his legs, zippers a quarter of a way up the pants on the outside along the bottom of them, made to fit comfortably with his boots.

His brow furrowed, and he whirled to Leon. "Hey, Leon, I think these are yours—oh." He stared, cheeks flushing. 

"What?" Leon grumbled. 

Leon was wearing the sexiest thing he had ever seen. 

He had discarded his new shirt, holding it in his hand, wearing a bomber jacket that Cloud supposed was something like the one he used to wear back in his days with Rinoa Heartilly and company. Griever was slung around his neck, the cool silver pressing up against his bare stomach. 

The bomber jacket was leather, of course, with zippers along it and a fur trimming. It hung slightly off his shoulders, and his pants were baggy, the button opened, zipper partly down, two belts that looked like twisted leather hanging off the waistband. The items that hooked the leather bands into place on either side had a picture of a skull on them. 

Cloud's mouth opened a little, his eyes glued all over Leon. 

Leon heaved an impatient sigh, running his hand through his hair. "What? I'm in the middle of dressing."

"Right…" Cloud nodded, mouth dry, then whirled around again.

"Hey, wait," Leon mumbled, grabbing Cloud's forearm, and whirled him around. "Let me see how you look in my pants that I have an exact copy of back home."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I figured these were yours."

Leon shook his head. "No, trust me, Yuffie got them for you."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Leon smirked, placing his hands in his pockets, features softening. For a moment, he looked like he was seventeen again in the picture Cloud had seen of him from a decade ago. "I can see why."

Cloud shook his head. "…Whatever."

"Now you're starting to sound like me," Leon chuckled, shaking his head, and took a step closer to Cloud. "What do you think? With the shirt or without it? After all, you're going to be my boyfriend for a while, right?" 

Cloud swallowed, thinking that his bare chest looked more enticing than it had this morning. And in those baggy pants, Leon's legs seemed to go on forever, and Leon's shaggy mane was clinging to his face as he smirked again. "…Well…" Cloud gave a cocky grin, tracing his claws along Leon's stomach, causing goosebumps to prick Leon's flesh as he closed his eyes, then snapped them open again, watching Cloud intently. Cloud tapped his chest before turning away. "Wouldn't want everyone to see my boyfriend's sexy body, now would I?" he asked lightly, jokingly, but deep down, he knew it wasn't a joke at all.

"Mhm." Leon rolled his eyes. "I knew it—I'm getting old."

Cloud whirled to him, eyes widening a little. "Hey—you are _not _getting old." He shook his head. "…If you want my honest opinion…" He took a deep breath, and when Leon raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side, Cloud continued, "If I was gay, I'd jump you right now. You look…" He gestured, searching for a word, settled on, "Gorgeous."

Leon smirked. "Alright—without the shirt then."

Cloud returned the smirk. "Suit yourself—I think it'll draw Sora's attention easily, which is exactly what we want." 

"What about your attention?" Leon asked, and Cloud could have sworn his eyes glinted with challenge as he stood there, hands in his pockets again, watching Cloud with a faint smile.

Cloud's eyes drifted over Leon despite his thoughts not to, and he shrugged, turning away. "Since I'm supposed to be your 'boyfriend', yeah. Go without the shirt. We need people to think that I'm enjoying this thoroughly." 

Leon grunted, then turned back around, but paused to add over his shoulder, "Cloud?" 

"Yeah?" 

Leon smiled faintly. "Keep on that outfit. Let's try the others on later. I want to walk around town like this."

*~*~*~*~*~*

"So…With the newest festival coming up, this'll be perfect," Yuffie babbled as the three sat in one of the diners in the Second District. Today was her day off, and she was using it while she could to do what she wanted. "And Aerith scheduled dinner with you guys and Riku and Sora tonight." 

Leon was slouched back in the booth, nodding and sighing, staring out across the diner. When Cloud curled up to his side, flopping an arm over his stomach, Leon looked down at him, a bit surprised, then shifted his gaze to the others that were watching them all around the diner. 

Rolling his eyes at them, he shook his head, then focused on Yuffie for once, wrapping his arm around Cloud's shoulders, idly stroking his hair. Leon had to admit that Cloud and he _did _look like a cute couple, but he wasn't going to say it outright. And Cloud was a pretty good actor—Leon didn't know if he should be enjoying this or not, he knew Cloud wasn't.

But Cloud's eyes had been glued to him earlier in the dressing room, filled with…Appreciation? Desire? Lust? Gods, who knew? And he didn't want a headache in the process of trying to figure it out. 

"Tonight?" Cloud asked, exhausted from browsing so many shops with Yuffie. "Geeze…Can't we sleep?"

Yuffie shook her head vehemently. "You want this plan to work, right? Leon?"

Leon nodded. "Yeah…" he admitted reluctantly. "I just didn't think it'd be so tiresome, I guess." 

Yuffie grinned. "Have you noticed how many girls have been staring at you today?"

Leon shook his head. "…Whatever."

Cloud smirked, sitting up properly and wrapping an arm around Leon, casting a pointed look to their admirers amongst the other diners. "Yeah, well…They can look all they want." Cloud pressed a kiss to Leon's cheek, and Leon found himself blushing. 

Yuffie grinned again, clasping her hands, eyes going starry. "Oh, wow! You two are doing such a good job of pretending!" she whispered to where only the two in statement could hear. "Keep up the good work!"

Leon shrugged, standing up from the table, and took Cloud's hand in his. He pulled the blond up with him, wrapping him in a half-embrace. "Look, we've gotta be heading out, Yuffie…Thanks for lunch."

Yuffie nodded after them. "Remember—dinner with Sora and Riku tonight at seven!" she called after the two as they left the diner, the bell sounding with a quiet tinkle as it opened, then tinkled again as it closed.

Once on the street, Cloud, exhausted, sighed, resting his head on Leon's shoulder unconsciously. He immediately melted to Leon's side, and Leon slung his arm around Cloud's shoulders again as they entered an area of Traverse Town with crowded people. 

"…That's the most shopping I've done in a lifetime," Cloud murmured, wrapping his arm around Leon's waist. 

Leon smirked, dropping a kiss to his temple, and a lady nearby gawked at them. "…When Rinoa was alive, I did more shopping than this. Her shopping could last for weeks, and my only salvation was sleeping in between." 

Cloud sniggered. "Women."

"Yeah," Leon agreed, sounding distant, "Maybe that's why I decided I liked men more." 

The two looked delicate in each other's half-embraces, and passerby thought that even though they were two men, they looked like they belonged like that. Leon, with his bomber jacket sliding down one shoulder, hips swinging agonizingly in a way that had most women drooling, Cloud with a shirt that clung to his chest, showing off all his muscles, leather pants adding to the affect. 

Cloud shrugged. "…I'm undecided."

"Oh?" Leon blinked, looking down at him as they walked. "I thought you were straight?"

"I am." Cloud sighed. "I just…" He trailed off. 

"…Am unsure?" Leon finished for the blond. 

"Sort of…" Cloud shook his head, frustrated. "I really wish I could describe it." 

"You've never explored your sexuality before?" Leon asked.

"No…Haven't ever wanted to."

Leon smirked, then let his arm fall from Cloud's shoulders and placed a hand on his leather-clad ass. Cloud went tense, startled, and so Leon tested the waters and squeezed gently. When Cloud let out something that might've been a moan, Leon ran his hand back up Cloud's back, then wrapped his arm around Cloud's shoulders again. 

"Did you like that?" Leon asked bluntly. 

Cloud heaved a sigh. "…Yeah," he admitted.

"A lot?" Leon prompted.

"I don't know. I don't want to." Cloud shook his head again. 

"Did you like this morning?" Leon went on.

Cloud didn't answer. He remained silent, staring pointedly at the ground, letting Leon lead them to his house. Leon gave him a rare, reassuring squeeze, then let his arm fall away. 

Cloud gave a faint protest, then raised his eyes to stare up at Leon. "Leon…Squall…If I want anyone to help me 'explore my sexuality'…I want it to be…er…you." He adverted his eyes quickly.

Leon smirked, stopping, and pulled them into a shadowed alleyway. He leaned back against a wall, pulling Cloud to him, and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist before kissing Cloud tenderly. 

A sigh escaped his lips, and Cloud reached up, grabbing Leon's upper arms, closing his eyes. Leon's grip tightened, and he closed his eyes, as well, before bringing his hands up to Cloud's hair and burying them there.

"I like your hair," Leon murmured, kissing Cloud's brow. He didn't know why he was being to gentle with the blond lately…It seemed like instinct. He couldn't force himself to be his usual self. "It's soft…Silky…" 

Cloud relaxed as Leon stroked his hair. "No one's ever told me that before…I kinda like it…When you stroke it…I just don't know if I _like _liking it…"

Leon smirked. "Relax—you're just exploring your sexuality. You don't have to make decisions right now. Just focus on what you like and don't like."

"That's where I get confused," Cloud groaned in frustration, pulling away, sighing and running his hands through his hair. "I don't know…What I'm feeling, what I wanna feel, what I don't wanna feel."

"That's why you explore." Leon straightened against the wall, folding his arms over his chest, placing a leg over a shin. "Do you wanna explore or not? It's your choice, and I really don't care either way." 

Cloud shook his head. "…No." He turned, beginning to walk off, then grabbed Leon's hand. "C'mon…Walk me home, then I'm hitting the sack until it's time to go to that dinner date." 

*~*~*~*~*~*


	5. I Think I Love You, Sora

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. So nyah.  
  
*****  
  
VG: Okay, since obviously people don't bother to read my AN's on my bio...... Ahem. I don't have Microsoft Word on this computer I'm using at my grandma's house. Thus, I am going to use a text file. I'd prefer to upload my chapter fancily, as per usual, but no. Since you guys want it so bad (Thank you, thank you, thank you! P) here...It is. Oh, and my LiveJournal account (www.livejournal.com for those of you who don't know) is moontear. XD Check it out sometime, I'd love to hear from you guys. Oh, and there's some slight spoilers from FF7 in here...You have been warned. Oh, and sorry that chapter's shorter than usual. --o Yeh want the damn thing, appreciate what yeh get P J/k j/k.   
  
VG: So. Emphasis is this *...* and thoughts are this /.../. Got it? Good...Here it is. The next chapter of Behind Closed Doors. I hope you enjoy--maybe the wait will make it better P  
  
****  
  
Behind Closed Doors  
  
****  
  
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken...Hello, I'm the lie...Living for you so you can hide...Don't cry..." -Hello/Evanescence  
  
****  
  
"You remind me of the snow and stars, Leon."   
  
Leon studied Sora closely as the teen sat on the kitchen counter, holding an apple in one hand, a book held in his other as he read, munching lightly. His feet were bare, crossed at the ankles, and he was dressed in a white shirt and loose shorts. His spiky, cinnamon brown hair was sticking up all over the place, moreso than usual. He was glowing--as if quite satisfied.  
  
Leon, thoughts of Cloud and Sora and what his next move should be flitting through his mind, raised an eyebrow, and leaned a hip against the table, folding his arms over his chest. "Oh, really? How so?"   
  
Sora smiled to himself, lowering the book a little, swallowed the piece of apple in his mouth before saying cheerfully, "Well...The snow is like you--cold, callous, uncaring, killing everything in its path. What seems gentle is only a deception--the snow is being gentle with its surroundings, caressing, but is slowly killing everything in a very subtle way. And the stars--well, you're so distant and far away...You shine, Squall...But just when I think you're within my grasp, you're not."   
  
Leon frowned--he didn't like where this was going. "So now I'm cold, uncaring?"   
  
Sora snapped the book shut, tossed his apple in the trash can as he hopped down from the counter. He shrugged, smiling warmly up at Leon. "Well...Maybe not uncaring. But you *are* cold."   
  
Leon cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing. As Sora moved to brush past him, Leon reached out, snagging the boy's wrist and pulling him gingerly back. He stared deep into Sora's sapphire blue eyes, watching the blank expression there, decided that something was *very* wrong... Something that he had to fix right now or blow it forever.  
  
"Sora..." His fingers moved along Sora's wrist, moved to clasp his fingers. Sora's eyes clouded a little as Leon lifted Sora's hand, placing the palm of it against his cheek. Leon nuzzled into it, eyes closed, breath warm.  
  
Sora snatched his hand back, swallowing. "What do you think you're doing?" /Riku--remember Riku./ He couldn't let Leon play with his feelings anymore. That's what the Gunblade expert had been doing the entire time. Playing with his feelings, enjoying it thoroughly--Leon knew that Sora was hurt, but he kept twisting the dagger in the gut, elicting the pain he wanted Sora to feel. Or that's the excuse he had come up with. Deep down, Sora had trouble believing that Leon would want to hurt him--after all, he *had* confessed about his past to Sora--but the defensive side of him that wanted to protect his love with Riku rose into place, coming up with anything to keep a wall up there.   
  
Leon didn't let his hand go, however. He leaned into it, reaching up and grasping it with the other one, kissing just beneath his thumb. "I must be giving you the wrong impression."   
  
"You have Cloud--and I have Riku." Sora swallowed again. Why was he doing this? Did Leon really enjoy playing with other's feelings? If he was with Cloud, this wasn't right, especially since Sora was with Riku, Cloud with Leon or no. Leon was confusing Sora to no ends--one moment, Leon is coming onto him, the next, he's with Cloud everywhere, the two all over one another.  
  
"C'mon, Sora..." Leon whispered. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it..." His breath tickled Sora's palm, causing shivers to move down Sora's spine. The look in those eyes wasn't helping, either.  
  
"Thought..." Sora shook his head. Riku--remember his Riku. "Thought about what?" Why wasn't he taking his hand away? ...Gods, it felt good. Leon caressing his hand like that, speaking in that low, husky voice that had his body stirring.  
  
Leon began to plant kisses down Sora's hand, along his wrist, pulling Sora closer. Sora desperately screamed mentally at himself to pull away--how bad would this look if Riku were to wake up suddenly and walk in on them right now? But Leon was nibbling and sucking on his skin gently, lightly, and Sora bit his bottom lip as Leon's other hand came up and traced down his chest, fingers stopping at the waistband of his shorts.   
  
"You see, Sora," Leon whispered, resting his cheek against the teen's forearm. His eyes closed halfway, his lips curved down into a frown. "I feel like you're this light...That's swept away the darkness within me..."   
  
"L-Leon?" Sora bit his bottom lip.   
  
"I wasn't sure of my feelings before..." He glanced up at Sora. "But I am now, Sora...This is hard for me--to confess my feelings to someone... But when you're with Riku, I can't stand it... I want to be the one with you..." He closed his eyes. "Three years ago, you were just a runt with the Keyblade... But now...After a passing of time...You got me to open up a little...You cracked through a wall I fight so hard to keep up..."   
  
Sora closed his eyes. Leon wasn't telling him these things... He couldn't be telling him these things... He didn't *need* to be telling him these things... Why now? Why when he was reunited with Riku at last? Sora knew that deep within his heart, feelings that had been stirred by Leon long ago weren't dormant. Whenever Leon turned that murky gray gaze on Sora, the teen would feel his face flushing a bright shade of red. He used to have to duck his head, turn away--do *something* to prevent Leon from seeing him blush. Because his crush had been secret--Leon couldn't know about it, or Sora would just *die*.   
  
He had fought desperately to get Leon to open up to him. But after being told to talk to a wall countless times, or to mind his own business, he had felt his hope slipping. Leon was like this...this damn *wall* that he couldn't get through. He could see Leon straight through it, this fragile soul, like through a mist. But Leon just wouldn't let anyone get past...  
  
And now Leon was openly confessing his feelings to Sora? Leon was willing to give him a try to get Leon to *open up*? This was so unfair! Why did things have to be so complicated? Sora didn't even know what he wanted. And on several levels, even if he *did*, he couldn't do anything about it, anyway. He was with Riku, and Leon was with Cloud. This was all *wrong*. They shouldn't be having this conversation.  
  
"Leon--Leon you don't know what you're telling me..." Sora whispered. "Share this with...Share this with Cloud..."   
  
"Haven't you always wanted to hear how I felt about you?" Leon replied in a murmur, lifting his head and straightening, wrapping an arm about Sora's waist and pulling the teen against him. He brushed a kiss to Sora's temple. "Things...Don't have to be this way, Sora...But you have to decide what to do..."   
  
Sora squeezed his eyes shut again. Tears burned at the back of them, brimming them, threatening to spill down his cheeks. He kept his arms firmly at his sides, balling his hands into fists, but couldn't help but bury his face in Leon's shoulder. In response, Leon's grip tightened, and it gave Sora a sense of comfort. Leon was strong and warm, a presence that would always manage to fight away Sora's inner demons. Except for now--now he couldn't fight them away. Only Sora could find a way to get out of this Hellish nightmare.  
  
"When you decide...You can tell me...But I *will* fight for you..." Leon whispered to his ear, placing a gloved hand to the back of Sora's neck. "I'm willing to change for you...Only you..."   
  
Sora let out a slow, shaky breath. "What about Cloud?"   
  
He didn't reply. He only kissed Sora's cheek softly, whispering, "I'll see you at dinner tonight." He breathed out softly, then kissed the teen's forehead, releasing him. He turned, walking off for his own room.  
  
Sora stared after him, lifting a hand to his cheek, tears blurring his vision. The words Leon had breathed in that last moment echoed within his ears.   
  
/"I think I love you, Sora."/   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Leon's lips were hot upon Cloud's, pulling the latter up against the former, stumbling with him towards Cloud's room. Leon's hands traveled all over him, touching him in places no one else had bothered to before, his lips coaxing Cloud's to part.   
  
Cloud was slack in his arms, only able to respond to the kisses, lost in a blissful haze he had never known before. When Leon nibbled his lips, he let out a soft sigh, earning a smirk.  
  
Leon pulled Cloud more fully against him, grabbing the blonde's ass and gyrating into him slowly, gently rocking his hips against Cloud's.   
  
*Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.*  
  
Cloud jerked upright with a start, gasping for air, face flushed, bathed in a thin sheen of sweat. He inhaled slowly, shakily, the vivid dream looming up before his vision, taunting him, reminding him of what he wished, deep down, that he could have. His covers were pooled at his waist, his wing curled at his side...  
  
...And his erection was throbbing almost painfully between his legs.   
  
He buried his hands in his hair, biting his bottom lip hard. /Cold shower...Cold shower now.../   
  
He stared off towards the bathroom, its door slightly ajar, and debated on it. A cold shower would be a way to get rid of his aroused state, yes, but there were really other ways, weren't there? Besides, when had been the last time he had really...?   
  
No...No, he couldn't. For all he knew, Aerith and Yuffie were still in the house. What if they heard him?   
  
/You could be quiet/, his subconscious whispered.  
  
He shook his head, climbing out of bed, and yawned, stretching a little, wing swishing around him before settling to curl at his side. He padded softly across his floor to the bathroom, closing the door behind him, then carefully pulled off his boxers and started for the shower.   
  
He was a man--he could ignore this. All he had to do was remind himself that Leon was another man.  
  
A very gorgeous man.  
  
No! Wrong track!  
  
Scowling, mood souring quickly, he turned on the water knobs, determined that he would win this battle against himself. As the hot water streamed over him, he sighed happily, sticking his head under the water, letting it rinse over his hair. He held his wing outstretched to the side, arched behind him, trying to avoid getting it too wet--it was a pain in the ass to dry.   
  
He grabbed the soap bar, letting the soothing shower soak all his worries away, and right as his fingers brushed down his chest as they always did when he was bathing himself, he froze. He could still see Leon's stormy eyes taking his bare chest in earlier that day, an inner fire there that rivaled any Cloud had ever seen before. He swallowed harshly.  
  
What if Leon had touched him? Had just reached out, running his fingers along Cloud's well-toned chest? After all, Leon *had* grabbed his ass earlier. What if he...?   
  
Cloud tilted his head back, letting his eyes close halfway, and stared up at the ceiling, hand hesitating at his stomach. What would it be like to experiment? To do this while envisioning another man? Or, more specifically, Leon? It wasn't a crime to experiment, Leon had said so himself, all he had to do was...   
  
Cloud touched his stomach, then let his fingers drift down it slowly. He hesitated over his quickly arousing cock, then wrapped his fingers around it slowly. His eyes slid closed the rest of the way at his sensual gesture--when was the last time he had touched himself, anyway? A long time ago, it seemed.  
  
Slowly at first, he fisted his hand, swallowing. He thought of Leon, of what Leon's hot mouth would be like wrapped around his cock, giving him what could no doubt be the best fucking blow job. A groan escaped his lips, and as he moved his hand up and down the length of his aching shaft, it all melted away to Leon there instead. Leon, with those smoldering gray eyes. Leon, with his full lips and incredibly sexy body that belonged to a god.   
  
  
  
When his cum coated his hand, Cloud collapsed against the bathroom wall, panting heavily, the water soaking him. He forgot about his wing, too busy wondering what had possessed him to do that. A tiny voice at the back of his mind taunted that in real life, it would probably be even better. And he sort of felt relieved, too. Sexual stress that had been building over the past few days had been released.  
  
Cloud sighed, burying his hand in his hair, and let his eyes close again. /Leon...I wanna know...Do you?/  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Riku was content to watch Sora hurrying around in his room, looking frantically for a pair of nice-looking clothes, sapphire blue eyes bright with panic. Riku was sitting in the center of Sora's bed, stripped down to his boxers, lips curled up into a faint smile. His aqua green eyes followed the cinnamon-haired boy's every movement.  
  
Sora, exasperated, finally whirled to him, throwing his hands up in the air. "What is it!? Why aren't you getting ready, Riku!?" he whined, pouting.  
  
Riku held out his hand, and Sora sighed, padding over to him and taking it. He looked up at Riku with a sulky expression, and Riku's smile broadened as he grabbed his Sora around the waist, pulling him into his lap. Sora snuggled close, looping his arms loosely around Riku's waist, resting his head on Riku's shoulder.  
  
"Riiikkkuuuu..." Sora's lower lip continued to jut out into an adorable pout.  
  
"I've heard my name said like that a few times," Riku said lightly, stroking Sora's cheek with his thumb, then buried his hand in that soft mass of hair.  
  
A blush stained Sora's cheeks. The teen looked up at him, giggling a little, then glomped the older teen. "Riku, you're such a pervert."   
  
"Ah, it's not like you don't like it," Riku whispered, nuzzling noses with Sora as they fell on the bed with a soft 'thud'.  
  
"That's beside the point," Sora murmured, snuggling, and inhaled deeply, contentedly, then slowly let the breath out. He rested his ear over Riku's heart, listening to their heartbeats. Riku's was stronger, firmer than his, but Sora's wasn't exactly weak, either, and they both beat as one. "We have to get ready for that dinner date..."   
  
Riku sighed, staring up at the ceiling, stroking Sora's hair. "Do we have to?"   
  
Sora frowned, pulling away slightly, and looked down at his best friend and lover. "What do you mean, Riku?"   
  
Riku's gaze shifted to his. "Well, I want to spend time with you...Why do we have to go out on a double date with them?"   
  
Sora trailed his forefinger along Riku's jaw. "It's nice," he said, smiling faintly, "And don't you wanna have fun with friends?"   
  
Riku turned his head to the side, staring at the wall. "They're your friends, Sora, not mine."   
  
"Well, they can be your friends, too!" Sora replied simply enough.  
  
Riku shook his head. "No...They can't. Because Leon wants you, Sora." His grip tightened on the cinnamon-haired boy. "I don't want you near him..."   
  
Sora scowled, but then reminded himself that he *had* been in the kitchen with Leon earlier, and... "Riku, I'm yours, you know that." /No matter *what* Leon thinks/ Sora added to himself, nodding.  
  
Riku let out a long sigh. "I know, I just... I haven't seen you in three years. I want time with you, Sora."   
  
"You *can* have time with me!" Sora pulled away completely, but bent to place a peck on Riku's lips as the silver-haired teen turned to face him. Sora waved a hand idly, then flew over to his closet.  
  
Riku rolled his eyes. "I forgot you could fly."   
  
He remembered Sora flying around, whirling the Keyblade, then diving down in a break between one of Riku's attacks at him, grinning at the rapture as the wind rustled through his hair, but his eyes had been filled with such sadness...   
  
Riku shook the thought off as Sora grinned over his shoulder. "Well, I apparently mastered the art myself--I no longer have to have Donald and Goofy with me. And besides, I can always fly. Because I have faith, trust, and pixie dust. And a happy thought."   
  
Riku sat up again, crossing his legs Indian-style, and rested one hand on his ankles, propped his elbow up on his thigh, resting his chin on his upturned palm. "What's your happy thought?"   
  
Sora winked. "Muu...It's a secret, Riku! I can't tell you." He shook a long, slender finger.  
  
Riku climbed out of bed, walking over to Sora, and pulled the teen back. He sat Sora on the bed, then grinned wickedly, straddling the teen's waist. "What if I...Persuade you to tell me?"   
  
Sora smiled, staring up at Riku as the silver-haired boy sat comfortably in his lap. "It doesn't matter--you can't persuade me. I won't tell you till I'm good and ready." He ran his hands up Riku's chest.   
  
Riku leaned down, tilting his head, and cupped Sora's face in his hands. He pressed his lips to Sora's petal soft ones, kissing once, twice, slowly, Sora responding eagerly. Riku wrapped his arms around the younger teen's neck, resting his cheek against Sora's. "We'll see, Sora," he whispered.  
  
Sora laughed. "Is that a challenge, Riku?"   
  
"It's what you want it to be," Riku replied coyly, then climbed out of Sora's lap, straightening. He ran his hands through his hair. "I love you, Sora."   
  
Sora walked over to him, reaching up to brush strands of Riku's silver hair away from his forehead. He smiled when Riku's eyes shifted to his, then leaned up, kissing Riku softly, placing his hands on Riku's shoulders. "I love you, too, Riku. I always will."   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Cloud!" Yuffie cheered. "Hurry up! Squall's waiting!"   
  
"It's *Leon*," came the Gunblade expert's muffled voice.   
  
Determining they were in the living room, Cloud checked himself in the mirror one last time. He had kept on the pants he had been wearing earlier, enjoying the snug feel of them--now he could see why Leon liked leather so much.  
  
Along with the pants, Cloud had opted for one of the other shirts Yuffie had bought him earlier. It was actually quite comfortable, and it went well with his wing. The sleeves were long, billowly, the color snowy white, just like the rest of it. It was button down, the material silk, and the hems went down to his thighs. Cloud had taken it upon himself to leave only the middle button buttoned. It was loose, it still managed to show off his well-toned chest and abdomen whenever he moved. To sum it all up: it was perfect.  
  
Smirking, Cloud grabbed his trench coat, pulling it up on shoulders, wing shifting to fit through it after he had cut an appropiate-sized hole with a claw. The trench coat was black leather and came down to the backs of his calves. Zippers and belts lined up the front of it, adding to his already dark-like appearance.  
  
Cloud took a nervous breath. It had been a while since he had really dressed up to go anywhere. Years, in fact. Besides having to wear that dress one time in order to rescue Tifa with Aerith...  
  
Grimacing at the memory, the blond turned to leave his room. He had left the cuffs on his shirt open, as well as the tail ends untucked. His wing swished a little, a black feather drifting down. Suddenly inspired, Cloud smirked to himself and twirled it between his thumb and forefinger, then walked out of the room, sticking one hand in his trench coat pocket, the coat itself billowing out behind him.  
  
As soon as he walked into the living room, his breath caught in his throat. Leon. Oh, gods...*Leon*.  
  
Leon was sitting casually on the couch, and his gray eyes flicked up to Cloud when he entered the room. The Gunblade expert was wearing a tight, black muscle shirt, which clung to his chest sensually. Against his tanned skin, it looked absolutely *breathtaking*. His tight leather pants added to it, defining his legs quite well in an almost sinful way. In fact, just sitting there, one muscular arm slung over the back of the couch, legs spread comfortably, Leon was like sin itself.   
  
/Congratulations/ Cloud thought. /I think you've just begun to develop the hots for Squall Leonhart. Is this bad? I'm damn sure tempted to find out./   
  
Leon stood, eyes taking in every inch of Cloud, as well. When the stormy gray color of them took on a molten look, tingles spread down the blonde's spine. The Gunblade expert was coming towards him, placing his hands in his pockets, staring down at Cloud thoughtfully.   
  
"You look amazing," Leon murmured at last, nodding his head the slightest bit. He leaned down, tilting his head to the side, and Cloud stared up into his eyes, swallowing.   
  
"You...Er...Look..." /Ravishing...Sexy as all Hell...Drop dead gorgeous...I want to.../ "Good." /That's noncommittal enough...Right?/   
  
Leon's lips quirked up into a faint smirk. His eyes closed, and he pressed his lips against Cloud's softly. Cloud's eyes closed, as well, and he let out a breathy sigh, toes curling as his lips moved to kiss Leon back. Leon paused, then kissed him one last time before pulling away, not giving Cloud enough time to respond.  
  
/Oh, gods.../ Cloud thought. /He barely kissed me. I feel girly when I acknowledge that my heart is pounding here./   
  
"Ready to go?" Leon prompted, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Cloud blinked, realizing he had been staring up at the brunette a bit dreamily, then grinned a little. "Not yet. I wanna give you something." He pulled the gold chain from around his neck that he had begun to carry around with him the day he had entered the Coliseum. He looped the stem of the black feather through one of the chains, tying it into a good, firm knot, then handed the small bundle over to Leon.  
  
Leon stared down at his hand where the gift rested, glittering a little in the light of the room. His lips quirked faintly, and he nodded, wrapping it around his neck, then unhooked Griever. He eyed it for a moment, as if saying a silent good-bye, then grabbed Cloud's hand and pressed Griever to his palm. "Here."  
  
Cloud's eyes widened. Even he knew that Leon never took this off, that he would die before he did--though obviously not now. "Leon...I...Er..." The blond shifted uncomfortably. "I really can't..."  
  
"Well, by wearing this--" Leon lifted the chain with one finger, examining the feather with something akin to fondness "--you're declaring to the world that I'm yours. That's the goal we want by acting like we're together. And so I want to keep up the idea...So you can, ah, *borrow* Griever for a while. Remember that--*borrow*."   
  
Cloud couldn't help but grin a little. "Am I supposed to be worshipping you now?"   
  
Leon's eyebrows raised. He cocked his head a little to the side. "Is that an offer, Strife?"   
  
Cloud smirked. He said nothing, only nodded his head towards the door, and so the two men waved a good-bye to Aerith and Yuffie, who were watching them rather intently.  
  
Silence fell between the two as soon as they hit the streets. The dark of Traverse Town wrapped around them, cloaking them in it as they took a few shortcuts down the alleyways. Leon was strolling casually, looking up at the dark sky, while Cloud twirled Griever back and forth between his claws as he stared down at it.   
  
Cloud supposed he didn't know how he felt about wearing Griever. It was supposed to be something really symbolic, and here Leon was, giving it to Sora, seeing as how Leon was so intent on getting the cinnamon-haired Keyblade Master.  
  
/This means a lot to him... I don't know how I feel about getting something so symbolic... It's a sign of...  
  
/A sign of what? Someone putting faith in you? Oh, wait, you hate faith, don't you? You hate it when someone depends on you, looks up to you, counts on you, and all that other angsty stuff that practically sums up your life. After all, why would you want someone to depend on you when for a while you didn't even know who you were? That you were unstable? What if you got unstable again?   
  
/There are blocks in your memory that you know you'll never get back that came when the Heartless destroyed your world. You searched all over for your light, and when you finally thought you found it, it was the wrong person. So tehnically, you're still lost in the dark, waking up screaming after nightmares about the darkness swallowing you whole...  
  
/Remember Sephiroth? Job: Top-ranking SOLDIER officer. Age: Unknown. Weapon: Masamune. Height: 6'1". Birth date, birthplace, and bloodtype all unknown. Remember Tifa Lockheart? Job: Bar hostess, AVALANCHE member.   
  
/AVALANCHE. Remember them? Remember helping them? Back then, you were just a mercenary. They counted on you. They depended on you. You hated that, didn't you?   
  
/Age: Twenty. Weapon: Glove. Height: 5'4". Birth date: May 3. Birthplace: Nibelheim.   
  
/Oh...Nibelheim. You remember that, don't you? All those flames...All those innocent people dying...Screams filling the air...Sephiroth and those cold eyes as he walked away from everything he ever knew. You spent many nights visiting Sephiroth, didn't you? While he remained cooped up, reading, reading, reading, driving himself slowly insane? Ah, ah, ah, don't think you ever didn't wonder. And in the end, Tifa's father was killed. Or was that before it? That's another gap in your memory there, isn't it? But then again, what memory? Fuck all that--that wasn't you. You were just a puppet, strung along, a failure. Hurts to know that, doesn't it? Hurts to know that you were never that close to Sephiroth, that he wasn't your idle, that these memories, the damn broken fragments they now are, belonged to another man.   
  
/Blood Type: B. The girl you grew up with... Or did you? She was always bright, optimistic and so damn cheerful for others, wasn't she? She was cheerful for you. She cared for you. And she was a tough one. Feisty, too. Tifa...She's gone now. Died by the Heartless. Figures--everyone died by the Heartless. She was no exception. There are blocks here about her, too.  
  
/What about Barret Wallace? Job: Leader of AVALANCHE.  
  
/Another member of AVALANCHE...Another person that, even if he didn't voice it, counted on you.   
  
/Age: Thirty-five. Weapon: Gun-arm.   
  
/Scared the shit out of you, didn't it?   
  
/Height: 6'4". Birth date: December 15. Birthplace: Corel Village. Blood Type: O. Not much to think about him... There's so many gaps there, too... Shame, isn't it? You feel so lost, so helpless, 'cause you can't remember anything about him except for tiny flashes, tiny, images, tiny words.   
  
/Red XIII. Ah, you remember him very well, don't you? The beast that talked and startled Aerith so bad at first! Job: Beast. That's kinda vague, isn't it? Age: Forty-eight. Yet he acted like an insecure child... He kind of looked up to you, too--another person that depended on you. Height: 3'4". He *did* crawl on all fours... Birth date: Unknown. Birthplace: Cosmo Canyon. Ah...Cosmo Canyon... Lots of memories there that have missing pieces in them...  
  
/Blood Type: Unknown. Ever wonder how Red is doing? You don't. You don't care to think of anyone anymore. You're too busy looking out for yourself.   
  
/Caith Sith... Rather forget about him. Vincent Valetine... You have his cloak, don't you? Gave it to you when he was dying. Everybody dies around you. You're too afraid to grasp onto anybody lest they all leave you in the end. Everyone you touch gets hurt.  
  
/Job: Unemployed. Age: Twenty-seven. That's what he said, but it's obviously wrong... Weapon: Gun. Height: 6'. Birth date: October 13. Birthplace: Unknown. Blood Type: A. He was always kind of enigmatic, wasn't he? Heh, he had that awesome power deep within him.   
  
/So who all remains? Aerith Gainsborough, Red XIII--you think so, anyway, Cid Highwind, Sephiroth, Yuffie Kisaragi. Kind of a mystery how Aerith and Sephiroth are alive... Ah, well. Something you'd rather forget, isn't it?/   
  
"Cloud."   
  
Cloud blinked, looking up at Leon. The brunette was studying the feather given to him again, index finger smoothing over it slowly back and forth. For a moment, the blond envisioned Leon doing that to the skin around his wing, or just anywhere on him, and he looked away, swallowing. He really had to start getting himself under control, and he reinforced this thought when the mental image of that scenario wouldn't leave, his pants becoming a bit tight round front.  
  
Leon's eyes flicked over him.   
  
Cloud shifted uncomfortably, pulling his coat tighter around his front. "Yeah, Leonhart?"   
  
Leon chuckled a little under his breath, shaking his head.   
  
"What?" Cloud shot him an annoyed look. "Why the fuck are you laughing at me?" His mood was beginning to sour a little--he really couldn't stand people laughing at him, but only Aerith was an exception. He wasn't about to let Leon get away with it.   
  
Leon shrugged, inhaling the crisp air deeply. It came out in a little puff before him, white and ghostly looking. "Nothing."   
  
Cloud's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, right."   
  
"...Whatever." Leon smirked at him.   
  
Fulls lips curling up...So soft...Tempting...Tempting...  
  
  
  
Cloud shoved Leon up against the wall, earning a grunt, and latched his lips to Leon's. He couldn't take it anymore. Dreaming about Leon, masturbating while envisioning Leon, being near Leon, Leon dressed up in that sexy as all Hell outfit, just Leon. He wanted to know. He had to find out.  
  
He had to find out if it was Leon that had had his heart hammering for all these years.   
  
And if so, he had to find out why.  
  
Leon was shocked, to say the least, and so for a few stunned moments he was stock still, eyes wide, staring down at Cloud's forehead as Cloud insistently pressed himself up against Leon, lips firm. Geeze, Leon's lips were warm, soft, but they'd be a heck of a lot better if they were...  
  
And then Cloud was being slammed up against the opposite wall, the air knocked out of him, but Leon wasn't giving him a chance to regain it. No, Leon was cupping Cloud's cheeks in his hands, then burying them in Cloud's hair, tilting his head back, then diving in to kiss Cloud's lips softly.   
  
Gentle...Leon was always gentle with him...Why...? Why...?   
  
/Why!? Damn you!/   
  
Leon pulled away slowly, looking calmly into Cloud's eyes while Cloud panted, gasping for air, chest rising and falling heavily. Leon released Cloud, taking a step back, expression unreadable. Cloud squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head to the side, suddenly ashamed of himself.  
  
"That was...random." Leon let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair, then looked at Cloud. "Thought you didn't wanna try anything."   
  
Cloud pressed his wrists to his eyes. "I didn't," he admitted.   
  
"....Right." Leon said slowly, nodding. "And now you do or something?"   
  
Cloud at last looked up at Leon. "Maybe?" he breathed weakly. He sighed, slumping against the wall, bowing his head and closing his eyes again. "Oh, I don't know, Leon. I'm confused." /I've been dreaming of you. Fuck. That's starting to sound like a nice prospect, too... What's this mean?/   
  
"Take your time," Leon growled softly. "This isn't some race."   
  
"I know!" Cloud cried angrily, staring heatedly up at Leon. "I know, damnit! But I act on impulse! You know I don't always think things through! That was always Tifa, or Cid, or Aerith! I'm just the one that fights, that tries to figure out who he is, that tried to find his light only to fail, and who is still trying to regain all my memories!"   
  
  
  
His words echoed in the otherwise silent alleyway.  
  
Cloud breathed heavily, then abruptly let out a whimper as tears stung his eyes. Ashamed all over again, he began to hastily wipe them away as they fell slowly, one by one down his cheeks, but suddenly he was pulled up against Leon, strong arms wrapped tightly around him.  
  
And the dam broke.  
  
Cloud cried softly, gripping at Leon's shoulders tightly, and buried his face in the Gunblade expert's neck. He cried because of the emotions he didn't understand whenever Leon was near him or even away from him. He cried because he was still drifting aimlessly through the darkness. He cried because now he no longer had anyone to look up to, nothing to hope for. Sephiroth was just his other half, but he was far away, and Cloud wouldn't be able to reach him now, not with the boundaries back up. And then he cried because Aerith wasn't the light he had thought she would be. He cried because he was stuck on this damned world. He cried because a piece of himself was still missing that he couldn't gain back. He cried...  
  
He cried because he was so alone...And so afraid...  
  
Leon sighed softly, stroking his hair, one arm wrapped firmly around his waist, and kissed his temple. Cloud snuggled closer instinctively, feeling warm and comfortable, and slowly stopped crying. Now he was only trembling slightly, but even that stopped as Leon rocked him a little, rubbing his back.   
  
"Why...Do you care?" Cloud asked a few moments later, whisper breaking the comfortable silence between them.  
  
"I have no idea," Leon admitted after a moment's pause, then kissed his temple again. He closed his eyes, moving the kisses over Cloud's cheek, to his nose, then kissed his lips gently. "C'mon," he murmured. "We have a date we have to get to with Sora and Riku."   
  
"Mmmm..." Cloud mumbled, grip tightening as Leon began to pull away. He looked up at Leon with half-lidded eyes. "Do we have to?"   
  
Leon cocked his head a little to the side. "Do you want me, Cloud?"   
  
Cloud actually giggled a little, lost in a type of dreamy haze, and nodded just a bit. "I think so."   
  
Leon smiled faintly, tracing a finger down Cloud's jaw, then pulled away. When Cloud let out a sound of utmost protest, not wanting the security embracing him warmly to leave, Leon wrapped his arm around Cloud's shoulders. Cloud immediately snuggled close, letting out a happy sigh, and Leon dropped yet another kiss to his temple as they started towards the restaurant.   
  
Cloud felt comfortable with Leon... So safe and secure... He didn't know why...  
  
But for now, he didn't care.   
  
**** 


	6. My Light: Part One

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts, only this plot.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Vash's Girl: Okay, don't think I broke the smut tradition here for every chapter! Lol, this is *part one* of two parts for chapter six. ~^ So no worries. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, special thanks to Uzumaki, and, especially, my best friend Laura.  
  
VG: Enjoy.   
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Behind Closed Doors  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Just remember  
  
When a dream appears  
  
You belong to me  
  
And I'll be so alone without you  
  
Maybe you'll be lonesome too  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
You Belong to Me--Jason Wayde  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"...Did we really have to go shopping for new clothes, Riku?"   
  
"You had enough money. And I refuse to continue wearing this outfit... I'm really starting to smell."   
  
"But we barely have enough time to get to the restaurant!" Sora pouted, lower lip jutting out as he latched onto Riku's arm, snuggling close.  
  
Riku chuckled. "So?"   
  
  
  
"I like to be on time." Sora continued pouting. "And we didn't have time to do..." His eyelids lowered as he traced a finger over Riku's chest in a slow circle. "Other stuff," he whispered sultrily.   
  
Riku shivered, but grinned. "You're a little sex fiend, Sora."   
  
"Muu!" Sora glomped him. "Only for you, Riku!"   
  
They changed quickly, tossing the bags to the floor, and exchanged quick, heated kisses when they could. Even while they were changing, they got a bit distracted, hands running all over one another, Riku pressing Sora up againt the wall and kissing his flushed neck. Only when the thought of their date broke through Sora's mind did the cinnamon-haired Keyblade Master grin and shove him off gently, finishing getting dressed.   
  
Once they were through, Riku examined Sora's attire, jaw dropping a little.  
  
Sora was dressed in a skintight black turtleneck, which accentuated his large, sapphire blue eyes and gave him a look that clearly said he was as old as he was, not moreso than he looked. It was ribbed, and it's sleeves stopped mid-palm, which he had had to shove up a little, but that only gave it a cute look. His pants were long, baggy, black suede, and it clung to his cute little ass in the back, threaded with white. He had rid his feet of the atrocious yellow shoes, resorting to a pair of nice black ones. Over this was a black suede duster, and his hair had been left alone, leaving it to stick up all over the place, as per usual. And his pudgy little stomach gave another small round of cuteness, but over all, Sora looked older, more sophisticated in a way, and downright sexy.  
  
Sora, in turn, examined Riku, desire forming a hot ball in the pit of his stomach. His cheeks grew flushed, and he licked his lips unconsciously.  
  
Riku, to sum it all up, looked like a silver-haired leather god.   
  
He was slouched against the doorframe to the bathroom, arms folded over his chest, but the way those entrancing aqua green eyes were cut, the way his silver hair fell into his pale face and brushed his upper arms only added to the attire.   
  
He was wearing a high-necked leather tanktop, which clung to his chest almost sinfully, showing off all his muscles, especially when he shifted. He wore black leather pants, styled in a patched way with the seams, and they clung to his legs artfully, flaring out a little at the knee. His shoes had been replaced by buckle-up boots, and as far as Sora was concerned, Riku /definitely/ couldn't fit underwear under that. The silver-haired teen hadn't bothered with a jacket, either, leaving his slim, but muscular arms exposed for all to see, pale against all the black clothing. He even had a silver choker wrapped snugly around his neck, lip gloss shining on his lips.   
  
Sora wanted to melt in a puddle of drool.   
  
"Riku!" Sora ran over to Riku, latching onto him, and buried his face in Riku's neck. "You're so hot!"   
  
Riku smirked. "I know."   
  
Sora slapped his arm playfully. "You're so vain."   
  
Riku wrinkled his nose at him. "So?"   
  
Sora merely hugged him again. "We've gotta go..." he said quietly.   
  
Riku suddenly tightened his grip on his best friend and lover. "Sora..." he whispered quietly, reaching up to stroke Sora's mass of silky cinnamon-brown hair.   
  
"Mmm?" Sora looked up, purring a little, eyes half-lidded. "What is it, Riku?"   
  
Riku ran the backs of his fingertips along Sora's cheek, eyes saddening. He stroked the boy's cheekbone with his thumb, continuing to stroke his hair with his other hand. He pulled the boy up against him, staring deep into his eyes, lips turning downwards just the faintest bit.   
  
Sora, sensing the serious mood, immediately quieted. "What is it, Riku?" he whispered, sliding his hands up Riku's arms, then wrapping his own arms snugly around the silver-haired boy's neck. "You look sad..."   
  
Riku's bottom lip trembled the slightest bit. "That's because I am, Sora, love."   
  
"Why..." Sora frowned, tracing a finger over those lips, finger smuding the gloss. Riku kissed it. "Why are you sad?" He hugged Riku tightly, squeezing his eyes shut as he buried his face in Riku's shoulder. "I don't want you to be sad!"   
  
Riku wrapped his arms slowly around Sora's waist, resting his chin on Sora's shoulder and closing his eyes. "I know."   
  
"I want you to be happy!" Sora whispered fiercely, grip tightening.  
  
"I know," Riku whispered in return, slowly, sadly.   
  
"Why are you?"   
  
"Mmm..." Riku inhaled deeply, then slowly let the breath out. "I'll tell you sometime later... We'll be late for the dinner date." But he wasn't hurrying to pull away.  
  
"After dinner?" Sora pleaded, staring up into Riku's eyes, pulling back the slightest bit. "We can even...We can even skip the date! I wanna know, Riku!"  
  
Riku smiled at him fondly. "I know." He kissed his love's lips softly, slowly, placing a hand on Sora's hip. Sora's eyes fluttered closed, and he leaned up against Riku, burying his hands in silky strands of silver hair, the taste of honey on his tongue briefly as their lips parted. Honey...Like the paopu fruit they had shared so long ago...Which was having their hearts beat steadily as one--or perhaps that was on its own volition.   
  
For a moment, it seemed as if a single white feather slowly drifted down near the two, then sparkled out of a sight. But then again, it was just the air, carrying a faint breeze from the open window. Stars twinkled outside admist the neon lights, a few kids shouted and screamed outside, but Riku and Sora didn't care. They didn't care about the world they were stuck on, or what their past had been, forging them apart, or even the present, nor the future.   
  
They only had the world they were in right now and were reveling in every moment of it.  
  
They had each other.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Riku."   
  
"Mmmmm?"   
  
"Why are you replacing the lipgloss?" Sora asked, studying his lover as Riku stopped outside the restaurant, applying the shiny stuff to his lips. "I mean, honestly..."   
  
Riku grinned at him, winking, staring at him from under lowered lashes sultrily. "Because it makes me look sexy."   
  
Sora rolled his eyes, but giggled nonetheless. "You already /are/ sexy, Riku."   
  
"See? It works." At Sora's pout, Riku's eyes glittered. "Mmm." Riku grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers, and stared down at the younger boy fondly. "Not as sexy as you, love."   
  
Sora's cheeks flushed, but he didn't advert his gaze. Instead, he smiled warmly, and to his relief, Riku smiled back.  
  
And it reached his eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever, but really wasn't very long at all. And that gave it all the more meaning in Sora's heart.   
  
Cloud and Leon were already waiting for them, sitting beside one another at the four-seated table in the corner of the secluded restaurant. It was more crowded than the last time, and no one seemed to be paying any particular attention to anything but the one(s) sitting across from them, but quite a few heads turned as Sora and Riku entered the homey atmosphere. Recognition glittered in their eyes as they saw Sora, and then interest as they flicked their gaze to the one he was holding hands tightly with.   
  
Sora beamed proudly, shifting closer to Riku. Riku's lips quirked up into a happy smile, and then the two best friends/lovers were heading towards the blond and other brunette.   
  
Sora's breath inaudibly caught at the sight of Leon, and Leon's stormy eyes locked with Sora's. He was leaning back against his seat, arms folded over his muscular chest, shaggy hair framing his handsome face. The candlelight flickering in its glass holder on the table caught his eyes, causing them to look as if they were sparkling.   
  
Leon's look was knowing as he let his gaze flicker appreciatively over Sora's slim, black-clad form. He raised an eyebrow, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and then he was standing.   
  
But Riku had already gotten there first. With slightly narrowed eyes at the Gunblade expert, Riku calmly strode over to Sora's chair, pulling it out for him. Sora, wanting to get that smoky look of Leon's out of his mind, accepted it with a bright smile up at Riku. Riku returned the smile, kissing Sora's temple, causing his eyes to flutter closed at the tender gesture.   
  
A hint of a scowl flitted across Leon's scarred face, and then he shrugged the slightest bit, gesturing towards their menus as Riku took his seat. "We told the waitress to hold. She'll be here in a few moments."   
  
"One for the obvious?" Riku stated lightly, raising a delicate eyebrow, and opened his menu slowly.   
  
Cloud sniggered, unable to help himself, but at Leon's smoldering glare, he mouthed an apology, then bit his bottom lip and raised his own menu, hiding his face in it.   
  
"Look, kid," Leon said smoothly, eyeing Riku with a sour expression. "We didn't /have/ to wait for you."   
  
"But you did," Riku countered airily. "I'm impressed by the manners you usually display a lack of elsewhere." He looked Leon dead in the eyes.   
  
Every single body at that table knew he wasn't talking about waiting for ordering their food.  
  
"Well," Sora and Cloud said as one to break the suddenly tense silence that had enveloped their small group. They looked at each other, blinked, then smiled like old companions--they were, in a way.   
  
Sora giggled. "We're doing it again, Cloud."   
  
One of Riku's eyebrows shot up as Leon rolled his eyes.   
  
Cloud smirked, amusement twinkling in his glowing Mako blue eyes. "What? Talking as one?"   
  
Sora nodded enthusiastically. "You think we can still pull it off?"   
  
Cloud frowned, brow furrowing thoughtfully, then set his menu down. The thing had just been to hide his amusement, anyway--he already knew what he wanted to eat, hadn't even had to glance at the thing. "That depends." He shrugged his shoulders. "Are you still as--"  
  
"--fast as me?" they chimed, then grinned.   
  
"Here we go," Leon mouthed, placing a hand to his forehead and slumping down in his seat as Riku watched on in confusion, but he was nonetheless interested to know what was going on.  
  
"Is Yuffie working tonight?" Sora had begun to ask, but Cloud had already seemingly read the boy's mind, so they chirped it together.  
  
Leon nodded. "Yes. She's our waitress." /Please let this end soon. Gods. I don't need a headache./   
  
"What a coincidence."   
  
Riku's lips slowly twitched upwards in amusement. He nodded in agreement.   
  
Sora's eyes narrowed the slightest bit in challenge.  
  
"Riku looks good tonight."   
  
Riku blinked at Cloud.   
  
Cloud grinned, but his attention was focused solely on Sora. "I saw that one a mile away, Sora."   
  
Sora waved a hand dismissively. "Fine, fine. My turn."   
  
Cloud nodded once, then opened his mouth to speak.   
  
"The food looks ravishing."   
  
Riku snorted. "What food?"   
  
"Who knows? Or cares?" Leon wasn't really paying attention to whom he was talking to, but he was also watching in a bit of amusement at the spiky-haired duo.   
  
Riku shrugged absentmindedly.   
  
It was the first time they had agreed on something, and the two didn't even know it. But Cloud and Sora had...   
  
And they shared a private grin.  
  
A few minutes later Yuffie came out from the back, and her eyes lit up when she saw the four-some. She grinned, shaking her head, and made her way over to them, notepad and pencil already ready. When she reached them, she slung one hip out to the side, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"What do ya guys want to drink?"   
  
"Coke," came the replies from Riku and Sora in unison while Leon and Cloud gruffly chorused, "Mr. Pibb."   
  
Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Ya'll are no fun. Always picking the same thing..." She shook her head again, this time letting out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, are you ready to order, or do you still want to think it over?"   
  
Sora pouted slightly. "This restaurant seems fancier than usual."   
  
Yuffie's eyes crinkled as she beamed at him. "That's because it is, Sora. You can't really tell 'round lunch. We tidy it up near dinner."   
  
Sora smiled back. "Right then." He looked down at his menu.   
  
"You can go first, Sora," Leon invited, and Cloud nodded in agreement. Riku shot him a smoldering glare, to which Leon smirked to, then voiced his own agreement.   
  
But Sora sent Riku a reassuring look, eyes twinkling, and this caused Leon to frown the slightest bit. No, he was losing his grip on the boy's attention that he had maintained for three years now, whether willingly or not. And, of course, it was effecting him unpleasantly.   
  
"I'd like the cubed steak with the baked potatoe on the side," Sora murmured, but loud enough for Yuffie to hear as he stared into Riku's pleased aqua green eyes, determined not to let Leon win this night and wanting to look at his best friend's eyes, anyway. Yuffie was already scribbling away. "Mmm...Hm...With butter, sour cream, bacon, and cheese. Oh, and a side house salad."   
  
"Okay!" Yuffie chirped.  
  
"I'll have the same," Riku said, smiling at Sora when the teen's eyes lit up. He rustled that spiky mass of cinnamon-brown hair, then turned his attention to Yuffie, whose smile was tight, but Riku didn't care. "But no bacon, please."   
  
Yuffie nodded, scribbled that one, then looked to Leon, raising an eyebrow. "I assume you'll have having the same as usual, Mr. ... er... Leon?" she asked formally.  
  
Leon waved a hand, nodding curtly.   
  
Cloud smiled when Yuffie's gaze shifted to his. "I'll, ah, have whatever Leon is having."   
  
Yuffie gave him a wink that Sora and Riku missed, as they were gazing intently at one another again, and nearly skipped off. "I'll be back with your drinks in one momento!"   
  
Leon eyed Sora and Riku. They looked like they just wanted to crawl into one another's laps and fuck right there on the table in the middle of the restaurant, not caring who watched.   
  
/Think. Fast./   
  
"So, Sora," Leon said in a low voice, drawing Sora's gaze from Riku's, albeit reluctantly. Heh. Well, he would just have to change that, wouldn't he? What was it that Seifer had always done to him while he had brought along his own date when Leon was dating Rinoa way back when?   
  
Thinking like Seifer again...Ow...Headache forming...  
  
"Mmm?" Sora nearly purred before clearing his throat. The dazed look left his sapphire blue eyes, though rather slowly.   
  
Leon caught his gaze, smiled slowly, and Sora's eyes heated when Leon purposefully moved his foot beneath the table, calculating where Sora's would be, then rubbed up under his pant's leg slowly.   
  
"Hungry?" Leon raised an eyebrow. His tone implied several things, and none of them related to food.   
  
Suddenly Riku was glaring at him.  
  
Leon frowned, confused.  
  
"Is my leg supposed to be a foot post?" Riku said with a faint sneer on his lips, aqua green eyes glittering dangerously.  
  
Leon paused, narrowing his eyes slightly. His foot was barely missing Cloud's and over on Sora's end. So why was Riku...?   
  
Inside, embarrassment welled up inside him, but his facial expression was stoic, as per usual. He took his foot back slowly, so as not to show any outward emotion, but on the inside, he began to seethe. So Riku had anticipated that, huh? The silver-haired kid was brighter than he had expected, which could prove to be a flaw in his plans. Damnit.   
  
Yuffie came back with their drinks, beaming, and set them carefully in front of each of her 'customers', though Riku's sloshed a little dangerously. He merely raised an eyebrow at her, to which she smiled apologetically back at, though it seemed rather forced. Heh, fine, whatever. He didn't like the little snot, either.   
  
Oh, he knew /exactly/ what she was doing. Little Miss Great Ninja Yuffie ... Wanted to make him miserable, even if in the smallest way possible. It wasn't hard, really, to figure it all out. She had feelings for Leon. And if Leon was happy, then she was happy. And she felt it her duty to make Leon happy, and Riku poised a threat, seeing as how Leon wanted Sora. That, and she didn't trust him. He felt bad about that last bit, but there was nothing he could really do. And besides... Riku knew Sora... Riku and Sora were best friends, they loved each other... Only Riku could get those certain smiles from Sora... Those knowing looks... He knew his best friend better than himself. And...   
  
Riku's thoughts were shattered as Sora squeezed his hand beneath the table, entwining their fingers. Riku smiled down at Sora, taken in by those mesmorizing sapphire blue eyes, and he didn't want to ever look away. He could stare into them forever, drowning, but who cared if he did? At least he'd be with Sora...His Sora...  
  
And Leon was an obstacle. Damnit! He needed Sora! Sora was...  
  
Why didn't Leon just ... be with Cloud? The two were together... If that was so, and if they "cared about one another" so terribly much, then why...the Hell...was Leon still after Sora?   
  
Riku's silver brows furrowed as he studied Leon across the table, absentmindedly stroking the back of Sora's hand with his bare thumb--he had disregarded his gloves for dinner manners.   
  
Leon met his gaze, then tilted his head slightly to the side, raising an eyebrow in return.   
  
/Hmmmm.../ Riku thought. /Something's going on here. I can feel it.../ His gaze shifted between Cloud and Leon. Something about them was... off... The sexuality--it wasn't there. Then again, he really didn't have a basis to go by, but it would make sense... The two seemed stiff, formal, hardly comfortable at all with one another.   
  
/What's...going on here? Between these two? Something's just not fitting...Something is most certainly out of place.../ He thought about discussing it with Sora later, but bowed his head, uncertain. Would Sora listen to him? Yes! Why was he being doubtful? Because...Because Sora was the only...  
  
/You're the only one I have left, Sora.../ He mouthed the words, but no one saw, and for that, he was thankful, perhaps fortunate. It wasn't anyone else's business what they thought about him or his thoughts in general. All he cared about was Sora. He didn't even care about himself, really. Sure, the darkness was steadily ebbing away now that he had Sora, but that was just it. ... He /needed/ Sora. Because Sora was his Light. Sora was his everything. Without Sora, he would be...   
  
Totally alone... Lost... Trapped within Kingdom Hearts, within his own mind, within the darkness, forever...   
  
As Riku stared at the tablecloth, waiting for their food to arrive, which would probably take another twenty minutes or so, Cloud, Leon, and Sora chatted happily about memories in the time span of the past three years. Three years that hadn't included Riku... The three would stop occasionally, pausing for a response from Riku, but they would only receive a faint smile, one that Riku's heart wasn't into. All his smiles were for Sora. No one else.   
  
It was amazing, really... Sora and he had come so far... Without Sora, he'd be... Well, he wouldn't be /here/, that was for certain. He didn't know what had gone on in the three years he was away in Kingdom Hearts, but he was damned certain he would make up to Sora for it! And Leon would /not/ interfere! Sure, the brunette had had his eyes on Sora for the past couple of years, more or less, but Riku had had his eyes on Sora since they had met...   
  
Since they had met...   
  
Riku watched the candlelight flicker in the glass holder and watched its orange flame dance, seemingly entranced, but he was really staring off into space, memories drifting back to the time he had... Well... Met Sora.   
  
/"Sniff, sniff..." Choked sobs. "Sniff, sniff..."   
  
Riku was idly walking the beach, dressed in a pair of swim trunks and a loose yellow shirt--he really liked that color--and was hoping to meet somebody new to play with. Riku was usually kept up inside all day for his education, it was //really// annoying, but...   
  
And then his eyes landed on a bundle of brown, white, and red curled up under the dock while the tide withdrew steadily.   
  
Riku just kind of stood there, small jaw dropping in awe, aqua green eyes wide. He then frowned, realizing the bundle was shaking...crying...But why?   
  
As if feeling his gaze, the bundle looked up. It spiky cinnamon-brown hair--he recognized the color from that good stuff his mum put on his toast--and large, sapphire blue eyes, the color he had read about in stories with pirates stealing jewels, stealing treasure.   
  
Riku edged closer, biting his bottom lip and chewing thoughtfully, then knelt beside the skinny boy. "Why are yoo crying?" he questioned softly. It was dark under the shading of the dock, and the sun's rays didn't reach how far they were beneath it.   
  
The boy's lower lip jutted out into a pout. "I..." He looked down, pointing to his knee. "I hurt myself--the other kids were making fun of me 'cause I..." He suddenly looked embarrassed, shaking his head vigorously. "Never mind! You'll make fun of me, too!"  
  
"No, I won't!" Riku protested, not wanting him to go. He wanted a friend... And why were people picking on this boy? That was so mean! He knew what it felt like to be picked on... "People..." Riku looked at the bleeding cut on the other's knee, then gained confidence. "People pick on me, too," he confessed. "I have a scar on my ankle from where some kids set their dog on me! Because I'm 'pwetty'."   
  
The other boy hestitated, then frowned slowly, brow furrowing, and sat back down. "Really? Ow. Can I see?"   
  
"Sure!" Riku beamed--at least the boy was staying. Riku showed him his bare foot, pointing to the thin, white scar that ran up along the line of where his heel connected to his leg. His parents were sure to kill him for going out barefooted later, but he didn't care. He liked the feel of sand squishing between his toes!   
  
"Wow," the boy gasped. "Yoo think this one will scar?" He pointed to his knee.   
  
Riku frowned thoughtfully. "Well, my mom always heals my booboos... But something like that never scars."   
  
"Really?" the boy asked eagerally. "How?"   
  
Riku flushed and looked away. "......I don't know."   
  
"What do yoo mean, yoo don't know?" the boy said, pouting again. Oh, he was just so cute! Even to Riku's six-year-old mind. "Pleaseeee tell me? I like yoo!" He stuck his hand out. "You're nice." He beamed. "My name is Sora."   
  
"Sora?" Riku repeated, trying the word out on his tongue, and 'Sora' nodded. He decided he liked it. It felt...right, saying it. Like when saying the names of his favorite toys or favorite objects or favorite people!   
  
Riku returned the smile shyly, grasping Sora's hand. "I'm Riku," he provided.   
  
"Riku?" Sora seemed to be trying the name out to. He was silent for a few moments, then grinned. "Okay! Now can yoo tell me?"   
  
"Hmmm...Depends on if yoo tell me who gave it to yoo..." Riku replied.   
  
"I told yoo!" Sora pouted once more. "Kids picked on me..."   
  
"Why?" Riku interrupted. "Why would they wanna pick on yoo? You're nice!"   
  
"'Cause I'm..." Sora looked away, then stared down at his hands. "'Cause they say I'm weak, just like my dad... Dad died in a car crash... They told me that someone without a man in their household was nothing..."   
  
"That's not true!" Riku protested.   
  
Sora shrugged half-heartedly. "I don't understand..."   
  
"Well, I don't either," Riku confessed. "But I'm sure they're wrong."   
  
Sora beamed up at him. "Tell me how to heal my cut now?"   
  
Riku flushed again. "Uh....I don't think yoo want to know...."   
  
"Oh, why not?" Sora's eyes filled with tears. "Mommy's at work, and she always heals my booboos, but Nana doesn't do it like she does! They still hurted! I don't want my booboos to scar! I wun them to feel bwetter!"   
  
Riku bit his bottom lip. "Momma heals my booboos by kissing them."   
  
Sora nodded vigorously. "Mommy does that to mine, too~oo!" he choked around his tears. "Can yoo help me, Riiikuuu?"   
  
"Un." Riku nodded.   
  
He took Sora's leg carefully into his hands, thinking about how to go on about this healing business, then shrugged, closed his eyes, and lightly placed his lips to the cut. Sora immediately quieted, staring down at him, tears running freely down his cheeks.   
  
After a few moments, Riku pulled away, wiping the blood from his lips with the back of his hand. "Bwetter?"   
  
Sora nodded, smiling. "Much bwetter. Thank yoo, Riiikuuu!"/   
  
And so had begun their quick friendship. Quick, yes, but never-ending, strong, and with a bond that could never break. Sora was his Light... He needed Sora... He had no one else...   
  
Riku tore his gaze away from the candle's light, watching Sora as Sora giggled with Cloud, waving his hands enthusiastically, but not talking too loud lest he attract unwanted attention.   
  
/I love you, Sora/ he thought. /I'll never let you go./ He smiled faintly. /We belong together. Even without the paopu fruit./ His fingers squeezed Sora's from where he still held Sora's hand, and the boy paused in his conversation, staring up at Riku.   
  
Together, they smiled. 


	7. My Light: Part Two

****

Disclaimer: Don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. … If I did, needless to say, I wouldn't be writing this fic. I'd make it real. ~^ Mwahahahahaha, yes, you weak of mind, run! Run whilst you can!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Vash's Girl: Okay… I apologize for the last two chapters being so short. ! Usually, I have them about this long(er). But that's okay. ~^;; We've got it back together now. 

****

VG: I'm very pleased to say that a lot of you are finally getting what I'm trying to say here—even though I'm also trying not to make it point blank obvious. Thank you to those who are reading deep! That's what you're supposed to be doing. 

****

VG: I've been trying to add humor here and there. Trust me—the road ahead will be growing rather dark, as the 'angst' next to the 'romance' up there will finally be going into proper play again. I've given you guys mostly light-hearted things for a break since chapter three, thus three chapters of fun. Well… It won't be staying much longer.

****

VG: Oh… A warning ahead. I'm not sure if there will be much lime/lemon's going on, but I'll put them in. It's a tradition now, eh? Eh? Heh heh… Can't disappoint my readers. (And no matter what anyone else will tell you, a writer may write for himself/herself, but he/she also writes for the audience. After all—what would a writer be without its response from others?)

****

VG: Major favor from you guys that I need! I'm trying to convert my friend Ellen to the dark side (aka, Riku/Sora)!!! XD Please give a word on that in a review. 

****

VG: Well, I give you the second part of chapter six… Whoo, be careful. **Laughs evilly** So here it is… The next installment of _Behind Closed Doors _(by the way, my sister had to point out to me that BCD are in alphabetical order… Ha, never noticed that! And thanks to all of you readers. This story wouldn't be what it is without you ~^)

-Jess

__

This chapter is dedicated to my very dear friend Emily—

You're as obsessed with Sora/Riku as I am

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Behind Closed Doors

*~*

__

Please just don't play with me

My paper heart will bleed

This wait for destiny won't do 

Be with me, please I beseech you

Simple things that make you run away

Catch you if I can 

Tears fall down your face

The taste is something new 

(Something that)

I know moving on is 

Easiest when I am around you

So bottle up on love

Throw it out to sea 

Watch it away as you cry 

The year has passed

The seasons go 

Please just don't play with me

My paper heart will bleed

This wait for destiny won't do 

Be with me, please I beseech you

Simple things that make you run away

Catch you if I can 

Waiting day goes through

My lips are sealed for her

(My tongue is)

Tied to the dream of being with you 

To settle for less is not what I prefer

So bottle up on love

Throw it out to sea 

Watch it away as you cry 

The year has passed

The seasons go 

Please just don't play with me

My paper heart will bleed

This wait for destiny won't do 

Be with me, please I beseech you

Simple things that make you run away

Catch you if I can 

Summer time 

The nights are so long 

The leaves fall down 

So do I to the ultimate friend

Winter nights

My beside is cold

For I am gone

The spring blossoms you to me

Summer time 

The nights they are so long 

The leaves fall down 

So do I to the ultimate friend

Winter nights

My beside is cold

For I am gone

The spring blossoms you to me

~*~

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Paper Heart—_The All American Rejects_

"The food is absolutely delicious!" Sora cheered before digging into his steak again, sapphire blue eyes bright. 

"Don't choke!" Riku said with a bit of concern, eyeing Sora closely, not even touching his own food in fear that his lover would shove food down the wrong pipe and wind up dying a horrible, long, drawn out death. _If_ the piece of meat got stuck and couldn't come out, which would be around three minutes of suffering for the both of them, and knowing Sora's luck…

_Pull yourself together, Riku, _he thought, swallowing, and forced himself to face his own food, taking his fork and gingerly sliding it into the steaming potato. He prodded at it for a moment, eyeing it suspiciously. He would have sniffed it, but that would have received a bit _too _many stares, and besides, he could smell anything dangerous wafting up from the steam… 

His eyes flickered to the doors that lead into the kitchen. Yuffie wouldn't have poisoned him… Right? 

He quickly looked back to his food again, prodding at it some more, brows furrowing as he tried to think if Yuffie really would poison him or not, just out of spite—and because she loathed the ground he walked on.

"The food won't bite, y'know." 

He looked to see Sora, Cloud, and Leon all eyeing him curiously—Cloud had said it, which was the first time he had really addressed Riku directly, and that was surprising in and out of it itself… Then again, Cloud's like/dislike vibes seemed pretty neutral towards him, unlike Sora's, whose radiated "Love you, love you, love you, love you…", and Leon's, which sent off sparks, "Die_. Die. _Rot in_ Hell. _Stay_ away _from Sora. I'll take the nearest sharp object and figure out how many ways there is to skinning a _human_. Oh, look, my _fork_…"

Riku shrugged, smirking a little, then gingerly lifted the fork to his lips, tasting carefully so as not to scald his tongue. He waited a few moments, determining if it tasted funny or not, then shrugged—even if it had, his taste buds could have changed, it had been so long since he had eaten a potato. And even if he _was _poisoned, all the darkness left within his body would fight it off, and then he could press charges… 

A rather sinister grin crossed his lips as he imagined a struggling, wailing Yuffie being thrown into a dingy prison cell, the barred door slammed shut and locked before her before she collapsed, sobbing hysterically, begging for forgiveness…

"Riku?" Sora was waving a hand before his face. "Hel~lo to Riku!" 

"Hm? Oh, sorry," Riku replied absentmindedly, then smiled at Sora reassuringly before turning back to his food. It actually tasted pretty good. Once again—as he had thought the food he had eaten at the lunch date was excellent—he had to commend this restaurant for its cooks. He wished they would fire Yuffie, as she put a rather…bad omen…on things. 

It wasn't that he really had anything against Yuffie, he thought as he began carefully cutting up his steak into precise pieces—when he had become a perfectionist, especially when it came to _food_, he had no idea. It was just that she…she…she was behind Leon, backing him up all the way. And that pissed him off. Riku wanted Sora—and he had him, too—but Yuffie continued to interfere. It was so damn annoying…

Suddenly Sora's hand wrapped around Riku's, causing Riku to look up, blinking. Sora beamed at him, intertwining their fingers and squeezing his, then began to eat left-handed, scooting a little closer. Riku smiled fondly at him, stroking the back of Sora's hand with his thumb in slow, soothing circles. 

But he was still troubled.

"Hey, guys, I've got a little break." Yuffie laughed, folding her arms behind her head. "I just wanted to ask Cloud something, not to intrude or anything."

"Sure, go ahead," Sora invited around a mouthful of baked potato, causing Riku to roll his eyes. Sora swallowed, then smiled apologetically at him, shrugging. "Sorry." 

Riku chuckled a little. "It's fine."

"Yeah, what is it?" Leon asked, pointedly ignoring the little exchange, though inside his heart flared with a bit of jealousy. "Tell us, Yuff." 

"All ears," Cloud intoned, waving a hand absentmindedly, then delved back into his food, though, true to his word, he listened closely.

"You spendin' the night at Leon's?" Yuffie asked innocently enough, scratching the back of her head. "'Cause you know… If Leon plans on spending the night over at _our _house, I think you guys should migrate to a different room so we don't hear you this time." 

Cloud choked on his pork chops, then fisted his hand and beat it on his chest. His eyes watered, and Sora shot him a concerned look, as well as Leon, but Cloud just waved them off. Riku only spared him so much as a second glance… He wouldn't have even bothered with Leon if it had been the Gunblade expert choking on his food.

"Yeah." Leon shrugged, turning to his own pork chops, beginning to cut another piece of meat off the bone. His eyes watched the precision with which he moved the knife and fork through his food, but he spoke to Yuffie easily. Sora briefly wondered what it was like to be a perfectionist that was a multi-tasker. "It's been a while since it's been just the two of us without any women around." 

Yuffie pouted. "You're so rude!"

"But it's true." Cloud shrugged, as well. He grinned a bit. "I need some alone time with Leon, Yuff. You just don't fit into that category. I'm sorry." 

Yuffie laughed, waving a hand dismissively. "Whatever. Just makin' sure. All right, signal for me when you want your check. Enjoy your food." Winking at Leon and Cloud, she turned and bustled off.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Cloud sighed, grasping onto Leon's hand as the Gunblade expert lead him into the dark bedroom. Glancing around momentarily, Leon shrugged, switching on the light, then closed the door behind him. 

Cloud released Leon as Leon made to pull off his shirt, revealing inch by slow agonizing inch of tanned skin… That muscular abdomen and chest, pert nipples when the coolness hit them, and then Leon's body arched into a stretch like a cat as he yawned.

Leon smirked once he noticed the blond was watching him, then shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull off his boots. He kicked them off to the side, ran his hands through his hair, then gestured for Cloud to come close. The blond did so, a bit entranced. 

Leon stood again, meeting the blond halfway, then helped him shrug out of his trench coat. Leon tossed it idly into a corner of the room, then eyed the loose silken white shirt with more than a little interest. He glanced down into Cloud's Mako blue eyes, then sensually ran his fingers down to Cloud's collarbone. From there, he traced down Cloud's chest to the button holding the shirt together in the center of it. Smirking once more, he deftly unbuttoned it, then ran his hands over that warm skin, the muscles rippling beneath his touch.

Cloud moaned softly.

"When's the last time you've been touched like this?" Leon whispered, sliding off the shirt, leaving it to pool at Cloud's elbows. When Cloud made to move out of it, Leon shook his head, then pressed his lips gently to the hollow behind Cloud's ear.

Cloud shivered, falling into his arms, fingers grasping his forearms.

Leon chuckled lowly. "Are you going to answer me?" 

Cloud's eyes fluttered closed, and he let out a soft sigh, snuggling close to Leon. "Hmm… A long time ago." 

"Might I ask who?" Leon let his hand move to Cloud's silken, spiky locks, stroking slowly, and Cloud pressed closer to him.

"…Sephiroth tried. But I…" Cloud hid his face in Leon's chest, voice muffled. "I didn't really understand. I shoved him off. That… Was the end of that. He said he didn't want to hurt me…"

"Did you ever love Sephiroth?" Leon asked idly.

Cloud shook his head. "I idolized him, but I never… Never loved him in that light. It was more like an older brother. I think… I can't really remember much of anything… All of my past is so vague…" 

"I know the feeling." Leon yawned, pulling away. "Look, I'm gonna go take a shower. Make yourself comfortable." He paused, then added as an afterthought, "And… If you're interested, you can… Well… Join me…"

With a light smirk and glimmer in his eyes, Leon shook his head and headed off to the bathroom, closing the door with a gentle click behind him. Cloud stared at it for a long moment, seriously considering it, then shook his head, decided he was too insecure of himself to even go for something like that yet, and stripped down, removing his boots and socks, then let out a hiss of frustration. 

…He'd either have to sleep with those leather pants on, or go as nude as he was now, because… Well… His boxers hadn't been able to fit under them. Damnit… 

Deciding that no matter what, he didn't want to be that uncomfortable, and that he could just sleep off to the side with his own little cover or something like that, Cloud climbed beneath the covers, back to the wall, wing curled around him, and hugged a giant pillow, yawning. He really _was _exhausted.

"Mmm…"

Lost in a blissful doze, it was a bit of a shock to awaken to something so pleasant that had his toes curling. He found himself moaning uncontrollably, pleasure flowing through his body, causing his skin to heat, his cheeks to warm, his head to be thrown back in ecstasy, his toes to curl more… Oh, gods, the pleasure—it was so… overwhelming. He arched, twisted, yet moved into it. 

"…Don't…Stop…" he panted. 

Leon was stroking at the base of his wing, right at the skin around it, the feathers pressing against his fingers.

Tears filled Cloud's eyes. No one could possibly realize how that felt. It was so… "Unnn…" Orgasmic. He could literally die of bliss from someone stroking his wing the way Leon was.

Finally, Cloud couldn't take it anymore. He was tingling all over, a fine sheen of sweat bathing him, and there was tightness between his legs. So he pounced on Leon, gasping for air, pinning the Gunblade expert beneath him and latching their lips together. 

Leon chuckled into the kiss, bringing up a hand to the back of Cloud's head, burying his hand in the blond locks again. He pulled Cloud down to him gently, kissing him slowly, softly, then let his chuckles overcome him once more and pulled away.

"What… Was… That… For…?" Cloud managed to gasp, chest rising and falling heavily. 

"I was curious." Leon smirked, propping himself up on his elbows. "Obviously, your wing is a 'zone' for you, Cloud. How… Kinky…" His gaze flitted over Cloud's body. "Hmm…" He tilted his head a little to the side. 

"Sorry," Cloud mumbled, looking away, suddenly realizing he wasn't wearing anything as the after affects of the sensation of his wing being stroked began to fade way. A faint tinge of pink crossed his cheeks. "Couldn't wear anything underneath those pants." 

Leon waved a hand dismissively, shaking his head, and Cloud saw that his hair was wet from his shower, clinging to his shoulders and the sides of his face. Cloud watched Leon for a few moments, oddly calm, then scooted close, cupping the Gunblade expert's cheek in his hand.

"What's it like?" he whispered.

"What's what like?" Leon murmured in return, watching Cloud through half-lidded eyes. 

"Wanting another man…" Cloud could barely breathe, yet he felt so… calm… Why? Why was he this calm? Why wasn't his heart beating frantically against his ribcage, like usual? "Is it to where you think of them constantly, unable to deny the attraction no matter what your mind tells you, because your body and maybe your heart is reacting of its own volition?" 

"Something like that, yes." Leon studied Cloud closely. "Do you want me, Cloud?" he asked softly, seriously, staring into the other's eyes intently.

"…I…I think so…" the blond breathed. "But… I'm not so sure yet… I think I need more time…" His smile wavered. "But it doesn't really matter, does it? In the end, you'll… have Sora… And… I'll be alone again…" 

Leon sighed, shaking his head, closing his eyes. "You didn't even want to do this in the beginning." 

"I know," Cloud whispered. "But Leon… Let me tell you something… Sometimes… You think you love someone…" Leon's eyes snapped open to lock with his. "But you really don't," Cloud continued, staring into the stormy gray which were narrowing coolly. "It's because you're aware that you have something all along, for as long as you want, and then when you finally go to take it, something else comes along and takes it away from you. So, not used to getting what you want, you grow angry, confused, blinded by this… attraction… what you can't have… And you go after it… Foolishly, you go after it…"

Leon glared. "What the Hell are you trying to say, Strife?" he growled.

"That you're not in love with Sora," Cloud breathed. 

Leon's eyes flickered, expression blank as he studied the blond. Then he gritted his teeth, lip curling up into a snarl, and shoved Cloud back, so that he fell off the bed with a gasp. Leon shook his head, eyeing Cloud hatefully, then crawled under his covers, not even bothering to toss the blond a pillow.

"You're wrong," he whispered fiercely. 

"You know I'm right!" Cloud hissed angrily, standing, wing flaring behind him and shaking a little. His Mako blue eyes flashed. "Think about it, Leon! You wouldn't have even really thought about him until Riku started interfering weeks ago! Stop being in denial and _open your eyes_!"

"…**_Whatever_**." Leon rolled over, tuning the blond out, intent on going to sleep and forgetting that this had ever happened.

There was a long moment of silence, broken only by Sora and Riku's moans next door, and then suddenly the light turned off. Leon stared at the dark wall, hands cushioning his cheek, then sighed softly, closing his eyes. When a weight came down on the side of his bed behind him, however, he sat up a little, looking down beside him. 

Cloud's eyes glowed in the dark, and they were filled with apology. He said not a word, climbing into the bed, and gingerly put his arms around the other man. Leon stiffened at first, moving to push Cloud away, still enraged with the blond, but Cloud only shook his head and pressed closer. 

Leon couldn't ignore the fact that Cloud was so warm and firm. Heaving a sigh, he turned to face Cloud fully, then lay down on his side, wrapping his arms around the blond and taking him with him. Cloud smiled very faintly, reaching up to trace a finger along Leon's cheek.

"Mmm…" 

Leon closed his eyes, pulling Cloud closer, and that's when both of their cocks brushed against each other. Leon's eyes snapped back open at the sensation, and Cloud tried stifling a low moan. 

Cloud couldn't really describe the feelings flowing through him well enough. It was like with his wing. So at the moment he clung onto Leon's upper arms to steady himself, staring into his stormy gray eyes, which flickered with amusement. Maybe both of them being naked and in the same bed was a bad idea…

"It doesn't take much to give you a raging hard-on, does it?" Leon suddenly whispered before unexpectedly brushing his cock along Cloud's again.

"Oh, gods…" Cloud moaned, unable to restrain it this time. His fingers dug into Leon's arms as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

Leon was rolling him onto his back, and Cloud went without protest. He gazed dazedly up at Leon, then hissed as Leon ground down on his hips. Leon smirked, but his cheeks were flushed with the pleasure of it, too, and he only began to gyrate into Cloud slowly. 

"Oh, _fuck_," Cloud gasped, reaching up to fist his hands in Leon's hair. This was _nothing _like he had dreamed about. 

Leon leaned down, kissing Cloud softly, slowly, and Cloud responded in the same manner this time, though a frantic need ran through him, leaving him breathless. He felt Leon's tongue slide along his bottom lip, and he briefly reveled in the sensation before it was swept along his top one, then pressing against his teeth, demanding entrance. Cloud parted his lips slowly, this being his first real kiss with another man before, then moaned as Leon's tongue touched his. 

They fell onto their sides again, and Leon ran his tongue along the roof of Cloud's mouth, causing him to shiver, his eyes to flutter closed. He began to urgently respond to the kiss, bringing his tongue to twine with Leon's. Leon tasted like the Mr. Pibb he had been drinking earlier, but it was mixed in with a natural taste—mints and chocolate. 

Leon buried his hands in Cloud's hair, pulling away briefly before delving in again, pressing his hips against Cloud's. Cloud moaned Leon's name into his mouth, lost in a lustful haze, and brought his palms to rest on Leon's pert nipples. He ran his thumbs over them slowly, then tweaked them gently, causing Leon to let out his own breathy moan.

"…Cloud…" he whispered, pulling away for air, and rested his forehead against Cloud's, eyes fluttering closed. 

Cloud clung to him, breathing heavily, highly aroused. He hadn't ever felt that way before. He didn't know what emotion was in the mix, but it was something, and it was making this whole damned thing wonderful.

"Leon, I would want to continue this, but…" Cloud yawned, drowsy with a nice haze settling over his mind, and buried his face in the crook of Leon's neck. "I'm so tired…" _And really insecure…_

"Mmm…" Leon took Cloud's legs between his, then wrapped his arms gingerly around the blond. He kissed Cloud's hair, his temple, his cheeks, his swollen lips, then smiled faintly, closing his eyes. "Let's just go to sleep then." 

"Okay…" 

Both fell into sleep together, wound in one another's arms, peaceful expressions on their faces.

*~*~*~*~*~*

__

"Sora…" 

"Huh? Kairi?" 

__

I blinked, frowning, then broke out into a grin. Oh, it was so good to see her! I had been wondering as of late how she was doing, and now that I got to see her, it made it all the better!

We were standing on Paopu Island, you sitting on the tree, as usual, staring off into the sky, Kairi before me with her hands folded behind her back, a pout on her lips. Her violet eyes looked up at me sulkily, her pretty face forming into the pout. 

"Sora…" she whispered again.

"Yeah?" I placed a hand to the back of my neck, tilting my head a little to the side. What was wrong with her? She seemed sad… Oh, no. That wasn't good. My heart wrenched uncomfortably—I couldn't stand to see Kairi so sad! It made me _sad! "Kairi, what's wrong?" _

"You've…" She turned to the side, staring out at the sea, the sun reflecting off it and causing it to sparkle. Her eyes reflected it, shining, but her shoulders were slumped—she looked heartbroken. "You've forgotten your promise to me… Haven't you?" 

"Promise…?" I trailed off uncertainly, moving to stand beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. I leaned down a little—huh, I was seventeen, not fourteen anymore…—and gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm following y—"

She suddenly whirled on me, eyes narrowing. "Your promise to come back for me! Remember!?" 

I backed up a step, terrified, and waved my hands frantically before my face, before it sunk in that… I … Had_… Forgotten my promise… _

"Kairi…" I whispered, uncertain of what to say. I bit my bottom lip, staring at the sand at my feet, arms dropping limply to my sides. How could I have forgotten something so important? Had she been worrying this whole time? She was obviously upset… I can't believe I forgot…How careless of me! 

Tears filled my eyes. I looked back up at her. "I'm sorry, I got so caught up in—"

"Let me guess…" Tears filled her own eyes. "Leon? Cloud? Yuffie? Aerith? Riku_?" _

Your name was said like a stab… A stab aimed for my heart. And it hit its target straight in the center, piercing me, causing my jaw to drop a little. When had Kairi begun hating you? Why did she say your name with such…loathing in it? 

"Kairi…?" 

"That's right," came your deep voice behind me.

I whirled as Kairi looked up to see you there, smirking, arms folded over your chest. Apparently, you had leapt down from the branch of the paopu tree, sneaking up behind us. What I had taken for a distant expression was merely a facade—you had been listening the entire time. 

I couldn't decide if I was angry or not. Angry because you were eavesdropping. Maybe angry because I wanted this conversation to myself with Kairi—you were always hogging her up! She was my friend, too! You always _took Kairi away from me, hung out with her, made me feel so lonely. _

Your aqua green eyes were glittering. "That's right, Kairi," you repeated. "He was so caught up in me that he completely forgot about you. He doesn't need _you. He _needs _me. You're nothing but an obstacle, and with my help, Sora will eventually overcome you. And we'll be free to live in peace without the mere thought of you haunting him." _

You came up to me, slowly, cat-like, then turned me around and wrapped your arms around me so we were facing Kairi. A lover's embrace of sorts… Right in front of her!

"Riku…" I began angrily, shoving you off. "Stop being so cruel. Look—you've made her cry!" 

I rushed to Kairi's side, gently reaching up to brush her tears away, but you angrily shoved me back, glaring, fisting your hands and stepping close to where my nose brushed your hard chest.

"C'mon, Riku, knock it off!" I shouted. "You've hurt her feelings! Why are you being so heartless!?"

"That's right, Sora." Your eyes glittered. "I am heartless," you whispered. "Even now, it threatens to consume me again. The darkness." 

"I told you I'd help!" I cried frantically. "Riku, what are you—"

"Sora! Forget Kairi!" You grabbed my arm, shaking me a little. "Forget about her!"

"No!" I glared up at you defiantly. "She's still my friend! I love her!"

You suddenly looked murderous. You threw my arm to the side, taking a threatening step forward again, and then grabbed the front of my jacket, hauling me up to where my feet dangled, bare toes brushing thin air.

"Stop, Riku! I love her, but I'm not in _love with her! You know that!" _

You stared furiously into my eyes a moment. My bottom lip trembled as I fought not to cry.

"Riku, you're hurting me…"

"I'm sorry…" You put me down gently, aqua green eyes saddening.

Everything shimmered, leaving me alone in darkness. Sighing, I brushed myself off, then glanced around. I wasn't frightened of it anymore—I had never given in… But… The darkness still snuck up on me sometimes, trying to overwhelm me, trying to coax me into giving in this time.

"Riku…" I murmured, hugging myself loosely. You had always been my comfort here… 

Suddenly, Wakka's words drifted to my ears from long ago, just a few days before Destiny Islands was destroyed and I was cast into nothingness to land on Traverse Town. 

"Riku's good at pretty much everything. Even you're_ no match for him." _

"…How discouraging," I grumbled, then sighed, plopping down. The darkness moved away a little, revealing white sand. I stared down at it idly, unfazed, and then buried my face in my hands. 

I could still remember how the waterfalls sounded when they poured down into the little pond… How the wind howled through the Secret Place… That night when you snuck into my window, holding a paopu fruit with a gleam in your eyes…

"Having Riku along should be a big help." 

"Hmm…" I propped my chin on my upturned palm, my elbow resting against my thigh. I bit my bottom lip, chewing thoughtfully. 

"Leave everything to Riku. He'll take care of things." 

Always you… Why? You were very strong back then, yes, and everyone looked up to you, including me. I still do, in many ways… I had always tried so hard to defeat you, and when I did, you were being possessed by Ansem. So I haven't ever really beaten you, no, I've beaten Ansem… Technically speaking…

Pondering, brow furrowing, I traced my finger along in the sand, drawing first a paopu fruit, then your face where you were giving me that special smile you reserved for me and me alone. 

So could I beat you now in a duel? While I had been slacking off these past three years, you had been in Kingdom Hearts, fending off the Heartless. But you had _said you could have left at any time… _

"Riku…" 

Everything shifted, moving away, leaving me once again on Paopu Island. This time Kairi wasn't in sight, only you, and I was curled up on your chest, yawning and staring out at the sparkling waters. You were idly stroking my hair, and I mewled, snuggling closer. 

You are the one who will open the door.

__

At the familiar voice at the back of my mind, I sat bolt upright, looking around wildly, even though I knew I wouldn't find anyone. Sighing, I slumped, only to have you pull me back down, rustling my hair.

"Hey, did I say you could get away from me?" you joked, grinning, aqua green eyes glittering playfully.

"No." Laughing, I curled back up on your chest. 

__

Together, we watched the sun set. 

Sora's eyes fluttered open, and he was immediately aware of how warm and comfortable he was. Yawning a little, he snuggled closer to the source, then sighed contentedly. After his sleep-fogged brain cleared a bit, he was able to realize that Riku had curled around him, embracing him tightly, his soft, even breathing reaching Sora's ears. 

Sora smiled faintly, tracing Riku's muscular upper arm, and then nuzzled Riku's neck. The silver-haired teen stroked Sora's hair in his sleep, murmuring his name, causing Sora to giggle a little and hide his face in Riku's shoulder.

He sobered moments later, just laying there, listening to their heartbeats beneath his ear. He stroked Riku's shoulder idly, then buried his hand in that silky curtain of silver hair, twirling it around his fingers. Riku sighed contentedly as Sora had done, shifting closer, then quieted, soft breathing filling the room.

_I keep having these dreams of Riku… _Sora bit his bottom lip, and then let his eyes flutter closed. _And… Tonight was the first night I dreamt of Kairi in… A long, long time… What does this all mean? Are my dreams trying to tell me something…? _

I remember talking to Leon about my dreams… 

"Dreams are nothing but your brain shifting your memories around in your mind, and they get tangled, mixed in together, so that when you're sleeping, you see them flit past. That's all they are." 

Sora pouted a little. _He has no romantic side at all. _

Sora pulled away a bit, then studied Riku's face. The silver-haired teen was completely at rest, pale lips slightly parted, lashes lying against his cheeks, silver hair scattered across his face, shoulders, and the pillow. 

Riku had always defended him as a child. He still did… Sora had always looked up to Riku. Sure, sometimes he got frustrated with him, but… No one knew Riku like he did. While on the outside Riku seemed independent and serious and sometimes quick-tempered, inside he was a fragile soul, just wanting to be loved, just wanting to confide in someone without getting hurt. 

Sora trailed a finger down Riku's cheek idly. Riku loved him… He always had, hadn't he? And Sora supposed it was justifiable if Riku got jealous these days… 

Sora's eyes widened as he stared at Riku's face. It suddenly all made sense! Riku needed him—really, _really _needed him. Physically and emotionally. Without Sora, Riku had no one at all. Everyone was gone, everyone had left him, no one was there for him. And for all those years he had been too afraid to see Sora, lest Sora banish him, too. Riku was dealing with the darkness by himself, and he _needed _Sora. Sora was his Light; Sora could fend off that darkness. 

Sora… Was the only person Riku had left… And he was protective and got jealous and sometimes even cruel because he didn't want to be left alone… And then the darkness sometimes influenced his actions—he couldn't help it, because no one was there to get him through this. He was clinging onto Sora desperately, even now, and if Sora left him, Riku would be… On his own… Alone forever… Because there was no one else left for him…

"Riku…" Sora whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Sensing Sora's pain, Riku's eyes fluttered open. He smiled faintly at the sight of Sora, at first relieved to see that the warning within his heart had been nothing, but then his brow furrowed in concern once he saw the wetness on the other boy's cheeks. He quickly sat up, putting his arms around Sora, and the cinnamon-haired boy let out a choked sob, clinging onto Riku, crying into his chest. Riku uncertainly stroked Sora's spiky mass of hair slowly, unsure of what was wrong.

"Sora…?" 

"I'm sorry…" Sora whispered. "I'm so, so, _so _sorry." He pulled away, staring up at Riku through a blurry vision, then placed his arms around the silver-haired boy's neck and kissed him softly. 

"Sora, what's wrong?" Riku cupped Sora's cheek in his hand, but Sora only shook his head, kissing him again. Riku let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering closed, but his heart still hurt. What was wrong with his Sora? 

Sora climbed atop Riku, sending the silver-haired boy back on the bed with a soft thud. A tear fell from Sora's eye and landed on Riku's cheek, trailing down to his temple, as if it were his own. Riku was about to resume asking what was wrong when Sora's lips insistently pressed to his once more. It became soft, sweet, gentle, and Riku wrapped his arms around Sora's waist, lost in a nice little haze, if not worried.

Sora hugged Riku to him, rolling on his back, and the silver-haired boy curled up on top of him. Sora stroked his hair, nuzzled his forehead, kissed it, and rubbed his shoulders. Riku put his arms around Sora again, resting his head beneath Sora's chin, cheek over Sora's heart. 

"Riku…" Sora whispered, hugging Riku tightly. "Don't worry—I won't ever leave you alone again. Not now… Not ever. You're… You're my Light. I'm never going to let you go." He giggled a little, smile sad. "You're mine, too, Riiiiikuuu. And I'm yours forever. All yours." 

Riku smiled, gripping Sora just as tightly. "Well, then that's good to know."

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Do you ever think about her?" 

Sora blinked, sitting on a bench in the Second District, and turned to look at Riku, who sat beside him. But Riku wouldn't look at him—he was staring straight ahead, arms behind him on the back of the bench, silver hair framing his face. Sora frowned a little, then pouted and lay down, resting his head in Riku's lap. Riku placed a hand to his hair, stroking slowly.

Sora rolled onto his back, staring up at Riku. "Who?" 

"…Don't be stupid, Sora. You know who I'm talking about," Riku whispered.

"Oh." Sora laughed. "Kairi." He nodded slowly. "Yeah… Sometimes. Why?" 

Riku's eyes darkened. His lips pressed into a thin line, but he said nothing, and he still refused to look at the cinnamon-haired teen.

Sora remembered his dream… He blinked. Was it…Was it more than just an odd dream after all? Had it truly been trying to tell him something? He smiled—Riku had nothing to worry about. He really didn't. Sora didn't feel that way for Kairi—she was like his sister. He loved her, but he wasn't _in _love with her, as he had told Riku in the dream.

Sora sat up, then crawled into Riku's lap, placing his arms over Riku's shoulders. Riku at last looked at him, lifting an eyebrow, but his aqua green eyes were still dark with… anger… Hatred towards Kairi… 

Sora gave him a saucy expression. "No one could tear me apart from you, Riku," he said with a smirk.

Riku merely shrugged.

"Oh, come on!" Sora pouted, pulling back a little, but only to cross his arms over his chest huffily. "Do you really think I would leave you for Kairi!? She's like my sister! I love her, but I'm not _in _love with her. I'm in love with you, and you should know that." 

Riku stared at him for a few moments, then actually started laughing. Sora stared—it was the first time he had truly heard Riku laugh in three years… And it was contagious. Sora wasn't sure what he was laughing about, but he was already joining in.

"You doof," Riku said affectionately. "I wasn't even going to ask that." 

"Oh?" Sora tilted his head to the side, scratching the back of his head. "Then what were you going to ask?" 

Riku waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing, really. I was just wondering… I had a dream about her last night…" He trailed off softly.

"Hey, I did, too!" Sora beamed. "Maybe it means we'll get to see her again." 

"Maybe," Riku echoed, but his heart wasn't really in it. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"The last apple!" Riku snagged it before Sora could, sitting down at the table, sweating pouring down his face. He had talked to a man called Cid Highwind about a job with the gummis, and, well, he had been put to work right away. Hauling around gummi pieces wasn't easy stuff—very exhausting, but at least he was earning the extra money he needed… Couldn't live off Sora forever. 

Hair pulled back with an elastic band, his shirt clung to his chest, soaked through, and his pants were growing uncomfortable. The coolness of the house was causing the hairs on the back of his neck and on his arms to prickle from the contrast against the heat. And now… He was starving.

"Hey!" Sora pouted, halfway through making his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, butter knife posed in the air, jelly on his fingers. 

Riku raised an eyebrow at this, pausing with the apple to his lips. "What? You don't know how to use a butter knife or something? You look like…" He trailed off, then smiled deviously, eyes glittering. "You look like that one time in kindergarten…" 

Sora tilted his head to the side, expression puzzled. 

Riku laughed evilly. "You remember. Mrs. Mackenzie wanted you to draw your idol and what you liked doing best. All of this using finger paint." 

Recognition dawned on Sora, his eyes widening a little.

"And so…" Riku continued. "You drew Mrs. Mackenzie a flower. And you gave it to her. One could practically see the hearts dancing in your eyes as you stared at your crush. But… Alas…" Riku waved a hand dismissively. "Mrs. Mackenzie told you kindly that you needed to draw someone you looked up to, not a flower. Your first rejection, and you didn't even know it. So… You continued."

Sora's cheeks turned pink. "Hey, Riku, I think we can stop the journey to childhood memories now—"

"Oh, no, no, no." Riku chuckled. "You drew Mrs. Mackenzie, yes, and…" He batted his lashes mockingly. "It was the 'best picture I have ever seen'. Yeah… And the kids made fun of you."

Sora pouted. "Just 'cause she liked me best, Riku…"

Riku snorted derisively. "Liked you best? She had no choice. And then when the kids kept calling you a sissy, you ran home to me, whining, and what did I have to do? Go and give them a few choice words." 

"Yeah, nincompoop and birdbrain and buttface and dingle berry… You sounded _so _sophisticated." Sora made a face.

"They didn't know what I was saying." Riku shrugged.

"Riku…" Sora paused. "_You _didn't know what you were saying." 

"But the scarring was done." Riku's smirk widened. 

He lifted the apple to his lips, then stopped abruptly as he heard it say, "Please, no, don't eat me!"

He stared at it. Blinking, brow furrowing, he contemplated. Had he been hearing things? Ah, well. He was tired, he probably was. He'd be surprised if he wasn't. 

And the apple talked again. "Riku, don't eat me!"

Aghast, he threw the apple back in the bowl, standing up. He _knew _he wasn't hearing things! That had been true talking—

"Wahahahahahahahaha!" Sora suddenly burst out, laughing, falling off his stool and onto the floor with a clatter and thump. 

Riku stared at him, confused. "What the Hell are you…?" 

"Hehehehe… I can throw my voice, Riku," Sora managed to choke out before dissolving into hysterical giggles. 

"Since when?" Riku asked dubiously.

"Since, like… I grew so bored around here that I started trying to do it to freak Leon, Cloud, or Yuffie out." He stood, dusting his shorts off. "Wanna know the funniest?" 

Eyeing him suspiciously, Riku nodded, grabbing his apple again, and sat back down as Sora righted his stool, then sat back down, as well.

"Right, well…" Sora giggled. "Cid was ignoring me one day when Aerith needed me to ask him something, so when he was getting out a cigarette, I … Innocently… Made the cigarettes talk. He, ah, bumped his head on the gummi ship, burned a finger, tripped over engines, cursed some words I've never even heard of, and then, for my own amusement, I made other objects talk. Yup, he was convinced his gummi ship had been inhabited by ghosts for, like, a month before Aerith finally made me tell him it was me. Priceless though." 

Riku laughed. "I can see you doing something like that." 

Sora grinned. "You really have no idea how much you've missed out on, Riku." 

Riku's face abruptly clouded over, and he stared down at his apple, shoulders slumping a little. Seeing this, Sora frowned, then reached over and thumped his nose. When Riku glared at him, Sora's grin came back, and he announced, "But I'll teach you all you need to know. Don't worry." 

Riku smiled, then reached over the table, grabbing Sora, and pulled him across it to him. Unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on how one looked at it—the stool toppled over, sending them with a crash to the floor, Sora curled up like a kitten on Riku's chest.

"Smooth," Sora said with a giggle.

"Oh, shut up," Riku grumbled. 

The front door opened…

Both looked up to see Leon there. The Gunblade expert eyed the duo slowly, then folded his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow. 

"I leave the two of you alone for a few hours, and I come home to find this." He gestured to them. "Get a room." 

"But we are in a room!" Sora chirped. 

Leon's eyes narrowed at him, but Sora was determined not to let his smile waver. 'Hmphing', Leon shrugged, stepping over Riku's legs, and made his way toward his room, leaving the door open a crack. 

"Uh… Do I even wanna know?" 

They looked up again to find Cloud there, scratching the back of his head, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, hey, Cloud." Sora smiled cheerfully, waving.

"…Hi…" Cloud shook his head, letting out a sigh as he shrugged, hands lifting a little, and stepped over them, as well, following the direction Leon had gone in. 

"Gonna get some action?" Sora asked deviously, causing Cloud to pause before he was just out of sight. 

"Or shall we say 'ass'?" Riku added, smirking.

"You know… If I was still your age… Never mind." Cloud moved into Leon's room, shutting the door with a quiet click. 

"That's okay—we heard you the other day!" Riku and Sora chimed. "Oh, _Leeeoooonnnn_!" 

"Shut the fuck up!" came the return shout as Leon's "**_Whatever_**" mixed in with it.

Sora and Riku collapsed against each other in an uproar of laughter.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Yuffie took her feather, running it down Cloud's nose as he slept soundly, flat on his back, in the perfect position for Yuffie's classic prank. Holding her breath, she eyed the shaving cream in Cloud's hand, then tickled his nose again. It wrinkled, and he swatted at it reflexively…

SPLAT!

Moments later, a shout could be heard through all of Traverse Town, waking even the deepest of sleepers. "**_YUUUUUFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE_**!"

There was a knock on Leon's door. He opened it to find Cloud there, growling angrily, a bag filled to the brim with what looked to be some clothes. Raising an eyebrow at it, he blearily looked back to the blond.

"I've had it."

"Had what?" Leon rubbed a hand over his face, blinking sleepily. "Gods, Cloud, it's two in the morning…" 

"Yuffie—I swear. She's plotting against me. She _wants _me to move out of that house. Well, now she's got her wish." 

"Mm. What'd she do now?" Leon stepped to the side, letting Cloud in, then shut the door, leaning against it. He yawned, shaking himself, then sleepily focused on the smaller man, trying not to nod off. 

"She… She…" Cloud heaved an irritated sigh, running a hand through his spiky hair. "All week—prank after prank after prank after prank. And Aerith only says that Yuffie is enjoying the rest of her childhood before it escapes her completely. She wouldn't be saying that if Yuffie was pulling pranks on _her_. Damnit—I can't handle it anymore. I've lived with those two girls for three years." 

"Yeah… And I've lived with Sora. He sleepwalks, he snores in his sleep sometimes, he makes the loudest racket first thing in the morning, he talks so loud I want to just strangle him sometimes, but you know what? I put up with it." 

"That's different. You're not dealing with PMS or having to choose what dress looks better on whom, having to take sides… Which, by the way, what side am I supposed to fucking take?" 

Leon shook his head. "Words of advice? You don't. You're a man—stay neutral." 

Cloud huffed. "Well, the point of this is—I can't stay there right now. I need a day or two…or a, er, week…off." 

"Just what are you trying to say?" Leon slid to the floor, purely exhausted. He could barely keep his eyes open. Damn, he wanted to give the boot to the blond and slam the door behind him, locking it. But concern—damned _concern_—had him trying to focus on the situation at hand. "You want to camp out here?" 

A pause. "Maybe?" 

Leon fixed him with a steady gaze. "You want to stay here in this house for a week or so?"

"Just until I can get my bearings again." Cloud shrugged, waving a hand dismissively. "I mean, I'd go to Cid, but come on… It's _Cid_. Trust me, I'll be fine in a few days to a week. I just want to stay away from Yuffie before she gets so much under my skin that I'll just snap and strangle her, and besides…" He lowered his voice. "It works out for the plan, doesn't it?" 

Leon paused, taking a moment to consider this, then nodded. "All right, whatever. Though keep in mind that the couch is rock hard." He got to his feet, yawning again, and stretched a little before shaking himself and starting towards his room. "Just put your stuff—"

"Do I…" At Cloud's hesitation, Leon looked over his shoulder to find the blond staring at the floor, cheeks a faint hue of pink in the dim light. "Do I have to… Sleep… On the couch?" 

Leon studied him, raising an eyebrow slowly, then smiled faintly, grabbing Cloud's hand. He nodded towards the hallway, and then the two started off towards Leon's room, Cloud blushing, Leon chuckling under his breath.

Riku moved from out of the shadows, staring after them, eyes narrowing suspiciously. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

The kitchen was a disaster.

Coughing at all the flour filling the air, Sora waved his hand before his face, then climbed up on a stool at the table, blinking sleepily. "Cloud? You're trying to cook?" 

"Key word: trying," Riku remarked dryly, arms folded over his bare chest. "What is it exactly that you're making?" 

"Pancakes and grits," Cloud replied idly, Leon's apron covered with syrup and flour and eggs and…other unidentifiable ingredients. Smiling cheerfully, he slid Riku a plate of pancakes. "As requested!" 

Riku lifted his fork to stab at them, blinked when he literally had to do that. He tapped at the pancakes carefully for a moment, lips slowly pressing into a thin line as what seemed like rock met the fork. He eyed the butter suspiciously, which hadn't quite yet begun to melt. He had the strangest feeling that it wasn't going to…

"Sora," he whispered carefully to his boyfriend's ear, "Don't eat it." 

Sora frowned at him, then shrugged and stuck a spoonful of grits in his mouth. 

And froze.

The expression on his face was admittedly comical, Riku observed. At first, it went from shocked and pale, to the eyes slowly widening and then the brows drawing in and the eyes squinting, the cheeks sucking in, the nose wrinkling, skin tone changing to a faint green.

Cloud nor Leon didn't notice.

Leon sighed, running a hand through his hair, then placed his spoon in his bowl, swirling its contents around idly. He paused when yellow lumps peered back up at him from the white depths of food. "…Cloud… You know I don't like cheese in my grits…"

Cloud turned from beginning the clean up the flour on the counter and frowned, brow furrowing. "What cheese?" 

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Sora groaned, getting up and running out of the kitchen.

"Yeah… Um… Me, too… Excuse me…" And Riku followed shortly afterwards. 

"Leon?" Cloud folded his arms over his chest, Mako blue eyes glowing expectantly at the Gunblade expert.

_…What to do, what to do? If I eat this, it's very possible that I could die…Yet I should be supportive, right? But when have I ever cared about being supportive? _

Something about Cloud's expression had Leon closing his eyes and lifting the spoon to his lips, hesitating. Maybe it was the pout that did it. Cloud didn't pout often, Leon reasoned. In fact, this was the first time he had really seen it. 

_Here goes nothing_.

"…" 

"Well?" Cloud prompted. "Good?" 

"Mm………….Hm…………" 

His smile felt over-exaggerated and extremely fake. 

Especially since he never really smiled.

"…Best thing…Ever tasted…" Leon managed as the gooey contents slipped down his throat. "In fact, it's so great that I can't eat another bite…Filled me up on the first one." 

"Really?" Cloud rubbed the back of his head, looking thoughtful. "I thought it might be awful." 

_You thought right_.

"It was delicious." 

_It was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted_.

"You should make some more in the future." 

_And if you do, I'll kill you_.

"Even Rinoa's cooking couldn't compare to this." 

_That's because yours is worse_.

"Was Rinoa a good cook?" Cloud wondered.

"Sure." 

_In her own little world_. _If there's one thing about Rinoa that I won't miss, it's her non-existent cooking abilities. _Leon refrained from shuddering lest Cloud get the wrong idea. 

"Maybe I should make breakfast tomorrow?" Cloud asked as Leon stood to carry his bowl to the sink.

"Uh… Don't stress yourself. I'll do it." 

"Supper, then?" 

"I believe that Sora had claims on it." 

"Tomorrow's lunch?" 

"We're going out, remember?" 

"Huh? We are?" 

"Sure, why not? You're paying." 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Riku turned on the knobs of the shower, yawning a little, still a tad bit disturbed from the breakfast scenario. Mental note: If Cloud and cooking were ever used in the same sentence in his presence again, he would find the nearest sharpest object and harm the person. Especially if it was Cloud.

He shuddered, grimacing, thankful that he hadn't been daring enough to actually try the food. Maybe he had better skill in other areas, but it certainly wasn't in the field of cooking. Leave that to the people who knew what they were doing. Kind of not leaving Sora alone in a house for a week with a supply of food. One was likely to come home and find the place a mess and Sora curled up on the table or floor or wherever his body had decided to pass out with jam and peanut butter and flour and sugar and whatnot all over him.

Riku smiled a little to himself at the mental image. Sora was incredibly adorable, but he could be such a slob. What could the boy do for himself, anyway? Well, stuff around the house, not going around and saving worlds. Could he even clean up after himself? Ah, Riku could give him credit for that. He was afraid the room might have been littered in clothes and some foreign mold that probably needed inspection from laboratories. Sort of like in the old days, when they were just young teenagers on Destiny Islands.

As the hot water moved over Riku, he tried to picture living that life again. If he could change everything, would he? Would he go back to that time to where he longed to be off Destiny Islands, albeit this time knowing where this longing would lead? Would he… Would he go back to the days without Sora being at his side as his best friend/boyfriend instead of just his best friend/rival…? Like if it meant that the darkness within him could be erased indefinitely, along with all the memories of his horrible journey of the past three years? 

Riku paused, staring hard at the wall, then wiped at his eyes as he sniffled a little. He wouldn't give Sora up for _anything_. Sora was his…his connection to the light, his…his everything. 

_You're my everything, Sora. I just wish you could know how much you're hurting me when you still look at Leon like that. _

Why is he such competition? Why can't I drive him from Sora's mind? 

His worst fear began hissing at the back of his head again, gnawing at his heart. What if, in the end, Sora left him for Leon? Scorned him, sent him away… He'd die inside. He'd watch as everything around him would shatter, leaving him blank, empty, covered in his own metaphorical blood. And if Sora didn't want to send him away, but still wanted to be friends, Riku… 

Well, he… He'd hang on to that little hope, clinging desperately, even, but… How long could he last being near Sora but not being _with _him? Not holding him in his arms or kissing him or listening to him talk or cuddling with him or seeing his smile or hearing his laugh or watching his eyes brighten or basking in the warmth of his loving presence or hearing "I love you" whispered to his ears at night when he was about to drift off to sleep and Sora hadn't known he had heard the words with their hints of desperation and, and, and…

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head, the tears rolling down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth, trembling. No… No, Sora would choose him in the end. He wouldn't leave him like that. He… He… He _loved _Riku. Always and forever. And Riku couldn't doubt that, no matter what he had gone through. How could he? Sora had put so much faith back into him after all that had happened between them, and Riku was eternally grateful. Who was he to doubt Sora's unconditional love? 

_I love you, Sora. I've given you my heart. Please take good care of it. It can't handle any more pain. It just can't. It'll break and nothing will be able to mend it._

A soft 'click' brought his attention to the bathroom door.

Sora stood in the middle of the bathroom, eyeing Riku with big, sapphire blue eyes through the blurred glass. He smiled a little, though it seemed a bit sad, and then peeled off his nightshirt slowly. He pulled off his boxers, kicking them off to the side, ran his hands through his hair, then pushed the glass door aside and stuck his head around it. 

"Riku? Are you all right? You can't lie to me, so don't bother," Sora said softly, words almost lost to the running of the steamy water.

Riku hesitated, then shook his head slowly, turning back around and grabbing the shampoo. He was right, he couldn't lie to Sora, but he didn't want to get the younger boy upset. 

The glass door shut with a 'bang'.

Eyes widening the slightest bit, Riku turned right back around and raised an eyebrow slowly. He cut his eyes to hide his surprise, asking, "What's the matter with you? You just don't go around banging things, Sora." 

Sora's eyes were filled with anger, and his lips were out in a customary pout, but Sora apparently didn't care. Which meant that this was really serious, considering that when Sora was at least minimally angry he always tried to stop his pouting habit and always failed. 

"You're always hiding things from me." 

"I—" Riku began, but Sora cut him off heatedly with a sharp "No". 

Silence.

"_Excuse _me?" Riku shot back. "I'm in the middle of showering, do you mind?" He really didn't want to get into this conversation. 

"Yes! I do mind!" 

"Well, take yourself and mind somewhere else until I've properly cleansed myself." _I _really _don't want to get into this conversation, Sora! _

Whirling back around, he angrily squeezing the contents of the bottle onto his hand—it gave an attempt at a small speck of shampoo, then made a sort of 'squeh' sound that declared its contents empty.

Riku stared dubiously at it. Okay, why hadn't he noticed the shampoo bottle was empty? Tossing it over his shoulder—Sora promptly ducked—he headed out of the shower and towards the other end of the room where more bottles of shampoo were kept.

Or he tried to.

Suddenly he was on the floor of the shower, the wet tiles pressing up against his back, and Sora was straddling his waist, his hands planted firmly on Riku's shoulders and pinning him.

Riku blinked against the spray of water, trying to raise a hand, but Sora leaned over him to where the water wasn't bouncing into his eyes anymore. And yet Sora's eyes were dark with…what? Riku couldn't tell. Anger and…something else entirely…

"I really wish you would talk with me more, Riku," Sora said softly, lowly, but his expression was completely serious. All traces of a pout were gone.

Okay, correct his earlier statement. Sora wasn't just "really" serious—he was "getting down to business" serious. 

"I do talk with you," Riku replied, wondering when Sora had gotten so violent and trying to decide if he liked it or not.

"Not enough!" Sora cried heatedly.

This was obviously going to be severely touchy ground. Riku would have to tread extremely carefully. One wrong move when Sora was like this, and… Well… It'd be over too quick for there to be explosions.

"Exactly how much is 'enough' for you, Sora?" Riku tried the not-discreet-but-not-exactly-direct approach. 

"To where you tell me what's going on. It's not like you're hiding things from me. I feel your pain." He placed his hand over Riku's heart, then lowered until his head was nestled beneath Riku's chin and his cheek was where his hand was instead. 

"…" Riku closed his eyes, turning his nose into Sora's wet hair, sighing softly and wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's waist. "I love you." 

Sora pulled away slowly, staring down into Riku's eyes, his nose barely brushing the silver-haired boy's as he tilted his head a little. His lips were less than a centimeter away; his cinnamon-brown hair caressed Riku's cheeks and chin.

"Don't hide anything from me." 

Riku cupped Sora's cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb over it slowly. "I won't." 

Sora kissed him.

It wasn't light or soft or even gentle. It was rough, raw with passion, and demanding. 

Sora kissed him roughly once more, eyes squeezed shut, lifting himself up, palms flat to either side of Riku's head. He firmly straddled Riku's waist, slid a hand down his stomach, but stopped in the middle of it. 

"Sora…?" Riku managed when Sora broke the kiss. "Sora, what…?" 

"Shut up," Sora hissed softly, allowing his eyes to open halfway, and Riku saw the lust burning there. Lust, love, anger, agony, and too many other emotions to try and understand. 

Riku stared up at him, wondering again when this sudden change in Sora had come about, this little violent streak that he hadn't ever prepared himself for. A little piece of him whispered that he didn't like it, that he wanted his gentle, kitten Sora back. But that side of him was drowned out by his own lust, his own love, his dark desires brushing against the surface of his carefully controlled ones, whispering to be let out. It was the side of him that he didn't want Sora to see again, a side that was ruthless and demanding and would do anything to get what it wanted, would do anything to sate its somehow endless need.

Sora watched him as he slowly lowered his lips to Riku's chest, tongue sliding out and licking droplets of water off his pale skin. He raked his teeth along it, enclosed them around his nipple, tongue flicking over it once. 

Riku let out a soft groan.

Sora nipped the skin along his collarbone, bit into his neck, licked up to his earlobe where he whispered "Riku" with a note of darkness to his voice that had the silver-haired boy shivering. His name said with hints at dark, dirty, naughty little things that he hadn't known Sora was capable of thinking about.

"I wanna be on top." 

Riku's eyes snapped up to Sora's, narrowed. "Why?" 

"Don't question me," Sora growled softly, leaning up again, fingers grasping Riku's pert nipple and pinching it.

Riku hissed in a breath between his teeth, a sound of both pain and pleasure mixed in with it. "What's gotten into you?" 

Sora took Riku's lower lip into his mouth, nipped at it, ran his tongue along it. He delved into Riku's mouth demandingly, roughly, passionately. Riku kissed back gently, unwilling to give into what Sora wanted, the dark desires rising up within him, racing through his blood with white-hot need. He pushed them back, albeit with some difficulty.

"You." Sora kissed his cheek. He sighed softly, nuzzling it. "Wanting to be with you. I don't want to be a good little boy when I'm with you, Riku." 

"Oh? Why is that?" Riku managed, swallowing as Sora pressed his hips down onto his, causing their erections to brush against one another. 

"You've been an influence on me when I think of you," Sora whispered, rubbing Riku's stomach idly. He traced the backs of his fingers down it, dipped one into his navel, traced the line leading down to his pelvis. "A … Naughty one." 

"Sora—"

"I wanna be on top." He trailed his hand down further, cupping Riku's erection and squeezing gently. Riku choked, squeezing his eyes shut and arching into his hand, head tilting back. Sora licked the water away from his throat as it trickled down to his collarbones. "Hmm~mmm…" he purred.

"You don't know what you're asking of me," Riku replied somewhat hoarsely once he had semi-gotten his voice back. "Sora, you don't want to do this. You don't want me to be out of control. I'll ravish you, and I won't stop when you tell me to." 

Sora's thumb passed lightly across the slit of Riku's cock, dipped in a little. He lifted his hand, smiling mischievously, and licked the precum off slowly, tongue swirling around his thumb in a rather seductive manner. "_I'll_ be the one in control. And who said I'll tell you to stop?" 

"S-Sora…" Oh, that was so hot. Riku had trouble swallowing. "D-Don't—"

"_Don't _tell me what to do," Sora hissed softly, eyes glinting in warning. 

_I want this… _

_No! No, I can't! I can't do this with him! I'll… I'll change him—he won't ever be the same again! He won't want to be with me again!_

I…Want…This…

_…No…_

…Yes…

The little bit of resistance left within Riku faded away, replaced with the dark, naughty desires, swimming through his veins like boiling blood, demanding to be met.

"Well…" Riku grabbed Sora's hips firmly, placing them atop his again, then reached up, placing his hands behind Sora's ears and pulling him down into a rough kiss. Their tongues dueled, ran over the roofs of one another's mouths, Sora's hands fisted into his hair, Riku's hands returning to grip Sora's hips, though this time tightly. When they pulled away, panting heavily, Riku hissed softly, "What the Hell are you waiting for?" 

"You to just give in," Sora hissed in return, grinding down a little. "_I'm _in control." 

Riku nodded, letting his head fall back along the tiles. "Alright…" 

Sora wrapped his fingers around Riku's dripping cock, leaned down once more to press a kiss beneath Riku's jaw. Riku let out a breathy gasp, burying his hands in Sora's wet hair and pulling on the strands. 

"Beg for it," Sora whispered to his ear.

"N-No…" He wouldn't beg. He _wouldn't_.

Sora ran his thumb over the head of his cock again, smirked as it jerked a little in his hand, Riku's breath hitching. He moved back down the length of Riku's slim body, trailing his tongue after him, swirling around Riku's navel, then dipping into it. He nipped the sensitive flesh around his pelvis, nuzzled his aching shaft. Sora's tongue darted out again, this time to lick slowly down one side of it, circle the head, then dart back into his mouth.

"S-Sora… P-Please…" Riku groaned. "Don't tease me…"

"Beg for it," Sora repeated, nipping at his thighs, using his tongue to soothe the skin there afterwards. 

"No… N-No…"

Sora took Riku's cock briefly into his mouth, circling his tongue around it, then trailed his nose back up it. "Beg and you'll get it. We both know you want it." Sora again lifted some of the precum onto his fingers, licked them slowly, one by one, eyes closing as a soft hum escaped his lips.

"P-Please…" Riku gasped.

"Please what?" 

"Please give it to me, Sora." 

"Give what?" Cat-like, Sora crawled back up Riku's body again, eyes glittering, lips curved into not quite a smile, not quite a smirk. 

"Your lips. Your hot, little mouth," Riku whispered, cupping Sora's soft cheek in his hand, and Sora licked at his palm, then suckled on his fingers one by one, as well, making soft little sounds as he did so. "I want it. Please." 

"What'll you give me?" Sora replied coyly, looking at Riku from under lowered lashes. 

Riku couldn't stop the quick grin. "My undying love." 

Sora sniffed dismissively, sitting back up and folding his arms over his chest. He turned his head to the side, nose raised in the air, eyes closed. "Already have it." 

"Um… My undying gratitude?" 

"Nuh-uh." 

Riku ran his hands up Sora's sides, eliciting a little giggle, and then ran them back down to pat the pudgy little gut his boyfriend had. "Hm… How about you being on top for the next five times?" 

Sora grinned a little evilly. "Promise?" 

"Promise." Riku liked this little sex fiend. 

"Deal." 

Sora had Riku's cock in his mouth again within three seconds, and he wasn't slow or even gentle about it like most of the previous times, but suckled hard and fast, and when Riku bucked into his mouth, moaning loudly, Sora … Sora deep-throated him.

"Gods…" Riku's eyes snapped open, staring hard at the ceiling despite the shower water, which had begun to cool a little, but it didn't bother him. "When… When the fuck did you learn to do that?" he panted.

Sora hummed softly in response, licking cum off his lips, wiping it off his chin and cheeks, and then licked it off his hand seductively. Riku eyed him through heavy lids, highly aroused, and thrust his hips up a little. 

Sora grinned again, gyrating slowly down onto them, earning a soft moan. Sora ran his fingers up Riku's chest, over a nipple, then his index one into Riku's mouth. Riku nibbled on it, closing his eyes, swirled his tongue around it once before Sora withdrew it. 

"Did you like it?" Sora purred playfully, raking his nails back down over Riku's nipple.

"Sora, you're hot," Riku replied, smiling lazily, thumb rotating on Sora's hip.

"But that's not what I asked," Sora whispered, his hand sliding down his own chest. 

Riku swallowed harshly, eyes fixated on Sora's fingers as they wrapped slowly around his cock. He moaned, tossing his head back, sending water droplets splaying out, his sapphire blue eyes sliding closed, raising onto his knees. 

"Un…" Sora breathed softly, brow furrowing the slightest bit. "Riku…"

Riku sat up, eyes slightly wide as a shiver crept down his spine, causing him to shudder. He moved over to Sora, nuzzled his hip, grabbed his hands and placed them in his hair before moving his mouth over Sora's throbbing cock.

Sora pressed his face closer, moan loud and deep-throated, yet somehow still mixed in with a mewl. He thrust his lips a little, fingers tightening in Riku's silver locks, and his boyfriend's name left his lips in a soft whisper.

Sora stood, Riku raising to his knees, gripping Sora's hips tightly to steady him. He bobbed his head along Sora's shaft slowly, with a little bit of pressure, brow furrowed in concentration. His fingers moved over the curve of Sora's ass, squeezing gently, beginning to knead. 

"R-Riku…" Sora panted heavily.

Sora came, clutching Riku's hair desperately, and Riku opened his mouth wide to be able to swallow all of Sora's cum.

"Mmm…" He licked his lips, looked up at Sora with hooded eyes. "Delicious…"

Sora growled softly, shoving Riku back down on the floor, and kissed the silver-haired boy with such ferocity it left them both breathless. But Riku kissed back just as fiercely, if not moreso, crushing the smaller boy to him.

Sora's hand snaked down between them, and Riku stilled when he felt Sora's fingers probing his entrance. Sora pulled back a little again, swallowing, breathing harshly, eyes glazed. He lifted a finger into his mouth, then moved it back between Riku's legs and slowly moved past the inner ring of muscle. 

Riku gasped, squeezing his eyes shut, gritting his teeth.

"Relax," Sora soothed, rubbing his brow gently. "The pain will all be over in a minute." 

"S-Sora…" Riku whispered, peering up at him weakly. 

"It's all right," Sora continued reassuringly, moving his finger around a little, trying to get Riku to loosen up. "Relax." 

"It…" A trickle of sweat moved down his temple, and he closed his mouth just before the words "It hurts" could escape them. His pride wouldn't allow him to tell them to Sora. 

"It hurts," Sora whispered for him, then wrapped his fist around Riku's cock once more. "I know. But relax. You have to relax." 

He pumped Riku slowly, causing the silver-haired boy's breathing to hitch, his eyes to flutter closed. Sora lovingly caressed Riku's shaft, thumb rotating around the head in gentle movements, drawing the pleasure out. 

Riku began to relax.

Sora inserted a second finger. 

"F-Fuck…!" Riku hissed, arching into Sora's hand. 

"It'll get better." 

"I-I know, but…"

"Trust me, Riku." 

Riku stared up at Sora, biting his bottom lip, heavy breathing still managing to wheeze through. Sora's lips curved into a sincere smile, his sapphire blue eyes shined. 

"O-Okay…" Riku nodded, then forced himself to relax.

Sora's fingers moved within Riku again, probing, and Riku released a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut once more. 

Sora's finger brushed against something within Riku, and his eyes snapped open, his breath caught in his throat.

Oh.

That was nice. 

_Really_ nice.

Sora hit it again.

"…_Fuck_…" Riku hissed, although this time it was in intense pleasure. 

Sora grinned deviously. "Imagine if that's not my finger." 

"…U-Un…" Riku moaned, eyes squeezing shut again. 

After a few more moments of Riku writhing, moaning breathlessly, and begging Sora to just "fucking do it already", Sora withdrew his fingers, then grabbed Riku's legs and put them over his shoulders. He hesitated at Riku's entrance, sapphire blue eyes bright with concern, and Riku growled at him, raising his hips a little. 

_C'mon, do it!_

Sora entered in one swift thrust, sinking down completely, and Riku went a bit quiet, staring up at the ceiling once more. Sora lay there, waiting for the word to go, but Riku's throat had closed up, heat had spread through his body. 

"Riku…?" Sora mewled softly. "Did I hurt you?" 

Riku shook his head in the negative. 

"Are you… Are you all right?" 

He nodded in the affirmative. "Y-Yeah…" he rasped, blinking furiously. "Wow." 

Sora giggled. "It was just the first thrust." 

"I know." Riku laughed. "That's what's crazy about it." He looked to Sora, wiggling his hips. "C'mon, let's finish." 

The door suddenly opened a little, Leon's voice drifting through, "Riku, stop taking your time, the water's probably run cold. And Sora's off somewhere, so I'm gonna go look for him. Just note that Cloud's pissed at you. He's wanted a shower for the last half hour." 

"Tell him to go and fuck you," Riku retorted heatedly. "I'm in here with Sora, so don't go bothering him. Now do you mind?" 

A pause. 

Leon's stormy gray eyes peered around the door.

Riku groaned in irritation, flipping him off—the insult, not the offer [1]—and placed a hand over his eyes. When he realized how still it was, he looked up at Sora to see him holding a dead gaze with the Gunblade expert.

Riku frowned. 

Sora shifted his eyes to look down into Riku's, then smiled slowly, withdrew to the tip, then thrust hard into Riku again. Riku moaned, trying to raise an eyebrow at Sora at the same time, but it was difficult. 

Sora caught his gaze again, looked slowly to Leon, and so Riku took it in the meaning to look to him, too. Leon's hands were clenched into fists at his sides; his gray eyes were intense with anger, irritation? 

The door was opened completely now.

Sora began to fuck him slowly, sapphire blue eyes intense and glittering, lips slightly parted, breath growing ragged. Riku moaned softly, meeting his kitten for each thrust, sweat beginning to form along his brow despite the shower's water washing it away. 

They both watched Leon steadily.

It was intense, but the slowness was making it agonizing. Riku wanted faster, harder, and he jerked his hips a little to communicate with Sora about it. Sora obliged, hand wrapping around his dripping cock, and began to pump in time with his thrusts. Riku's moans grew louder, Sora's mewls joining them, and they came at the same time, finally looking each other in the eyes as they did so. Sora caught some of the cum from Riku's cock, licking it off his fingers again, purring happily. He pulled out of Riku, leaning down to kiss him roughly.

Riku groaned, pulling Sora against him harshly, burying his fingers in that soft, wet mass of cinnamon-brown hair. Sora gave a low mewl of delight, teasing Riku's nipples. Riku cupped Sora's cute little ass in his hands, kneading it gently, the kiss dying down to gentle strokes of their tongues encircling one another's.

Riku glanced to the doorway, Sora resting his head on Riku's shoulder drowsily. The silver-haired teen smirk. "Look, Sora, he's hard." 

Leon glared.

"That's what he gets for looking," Sora purred.

Leon stared at him.

Riku and Sora giggled, snuggling together, and situated themselves to where they were leaning against the shower wall. 

"Enjoy the show?" Riku asked darkly. "No, wait, never mind, there's clear evidence that you did." 

"Riku, don't be mean." Sora pouted. 

Riku shrugged.

Sora giggled again. "That was fun." 

Riku kissed his shoulder to show his agreement, burying his nose in Sora's neck. 

"Leon, come here." 

Riku's fingers tightened on Sora's hips, his eyes stared at the floor. What had Sora asked? 

"Sit here." 

"…Whatever." 

Sora made Riku look up, and Riku did, glaring at his kitten. He was pretty positive his look was one of betrayal. Sora merely beamed, kissing the tip of his nose, then said softly, "I want you to kiss Leon for me." 

"What!?" Riku exclaimed in disbelief as Leon growled, "**_What_**?" 

"Go on," Sora urged.

Riku pursed his lips. "Will it… Will it make you happy?" 

"Yes." 

Riku let out a hiss of frustration, turned his head slowly to stare up into Leon's gray eyes. He didn't know what Sora was planning, but he didn't like it. He noticed how Leon glared back at him, dismissed it as he pressed his lips bitterly to Leon's.

"C'mon, kiss like you mean it, you two." 

Pinching Sora's hip hard and earning a yelp in return, Riku closed his eyes, waiting. Fuck everyone if he was going to kiss Leon first again and act like he _meant _it. What the Hell was going on? 

_Is this some test of my love for you? _Riku thought sadly. _Sora, you don't have to test it. It's real. And pure._

Leon kissed him a little softly, eyes squeezed shut. Riku kissed back, then turned his head, looking to Sora. "Well? Happy?" 

Sora curled up against Riku's chest, grinned at Leon. "Shut the door, Leon. Please. Oh, and lock it." 

Riku stared down at him, hurt gripping his heart. "What are you…?" 

Sora kissed him lightly. "I want you two to get a taste of each other." 

"No!" Riku immediately hissed, glaring hard at his lover. "Hell, no!"

"Please," Sora begged. "Just this once." 

"No! No, no, no!"

"…Riku…" came a distant voice, soft.

"You'll like it," Sora purred, looking at him from under lowered lashes. 

"NO!"

"Riku! Riku, open the door!"

Riku blinked. "Huh?" 

"_Riku_!"

Riku blinked again, finding himself pressed flat against the tiles of the shower, the water icy cold against his back. He hissed, sitting up slowly, and looked groggily to the door. A loud thudding was emitting from it. When he heard a desperate "_Riku_!" again, he realized that someone was banging on it.

"W-What…?" Riku got to his feet, staggered a little, and clutched the side of his head. "…Oh…" he moaned, head throbbing.

"_Riku_!" Sora wailed. "C'mon, open the door!" 

Riku put two and two together. He had gotten so depressed thinking about Sora that the darkness had wound around him, dropping him into a deep sleep. It had played with his subconscious, giving him pleasure, betrayal, and his deepest wants and fears all at the same time. Damnit. This wasn't the first time it had happened. It had used to occur frequently whenever he had stayed at Hollow Bastion with Maleficent. [2]

Riku opened the door, smiling apologetically, gave an "Oof!" when Sora threw his arms around him and hugged him to him tightly, trembling.

"Sora, what's wrong…?" 

"My heart suddenly hurt really bad, and I was worried, so I came here to find out what was wrong…" Sora whispered, clutching Riku desperately, burying his face in his chest.

"I just fell asleep," Riku said reassuringly, stroking the soft locks of cinnamon-brown hair. "I had a nightmare."

"Why'd you fall asleep in the shower?" Sapphire blue eyes peered up at him curiously.

Riku smirked. "I was really tired, why else?" _I wish I didn't have to lie to him, but if I really told him… He'd… He'd get scared, and start panicking and drilling me about everything, and I love him for that side of him, but I don't want to worry him._

"…Okay…" Sora said uncertainly, but it was obvious that he didn't really believe Riku. He merely smiled, however, and kissed Riku softly. The silver-haired teen kissed back, wishing that Sora really _could _chase all the darkness within him away. But who knew? Maybe he could. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[1] …The insult not the offer… For those of you who don't know (I'm not quite sure if my best friend Amanda made this up or not—I don't get out much)… The insult would be one finger curled up by the middle finger. The offer is both fingers curled up by the middle finger. Get it? 

[2] "Riku put two and two together … Hollow Bastion with Maleficent." I tried to make the description outside the shower vague, with no mentions of what if Cloud walked in on them, Riku's suspicions about Cloud, et cetera, for the lack of the darkness trying to describe everything. Did I do an all right job? Did any of you notice at all? ;;; 


	8. I Told Leon that I Love Him

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Kingdom Hearts. _Sorry.

((((-))))

**Author's Notes…**

**Vash's**** Girl: **Wow! Sorry that it's been such a long time since I've updated, but my computer at home was taken away from me, so it's not like I could type up anything. ;; _Really _sorry about that, you guys! I'm trying my best here, and yes, I do intend to finish this story. In fact, it's not that far from the end…

**VG: **Personally, I don't like how this chapter turned out, but I'll let you be the judge of that. It's depressing, as the angst wheel is rolling again, and I'm never confident about angst, so… x.x;; Tell me what you think. I know you guys are already thinking, however, that if I'm not confident about this chapter, why read it? Then again, how many of you people actually pay attention to the author's notes? I just want everyone to know—when I read your stories, I certainly do. You bothered putting them up there, so I feel obliged to read them. o

**VG: **All right, well, here's the next chapter…

**Vash****: **Enjoy, and remember to leave me some donuts!

**VG and Vash: **And remember—this world is made of **LOVE** and **PEACE!!!!**

-Jess

(I thought I'd add this in…)

**Music: **(this is the crap I listened to whilst writing this chapter…) Linkin Park, the soundtracks for _Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy X, _and the soundtrack for the movie _Escaflowne_.

_This chapter is dedicated to Uzumaki—so you finally acknowledged me as the smut queen, eh? P_

**((((-))))**

**Behind Closed Doors**

**((((-))))**

**_When this began_**

**_I had nothing to say_**

**_And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me_**

**_I was confused_**

**_And I let it all out to find/that I'm _**

**_Not the only person with these things in mind_**

**_Inside of me_**

**_But all the vacancy the words revealed_**

**_Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel_**

**_Nothing to lose_**

**_Just stuck/hollow and alone_**

**_And the fault is my own_**

**_And the fault is my own_**

**_I want to heal_**

**_I want to feel_**

**_What I thought was never real_**

**_I want to let go of the pain I've held so long_**

**_(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_**

**_I want to heal_**

**_I want to feel_**

**_Like I'm close to something real_**

**_I want to find something I've wanted all along_**

**_Somewhere I belong_**

**_And I've got nothing to say_**

**_I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_**

**_I was confused_**

**_Looking everywhere/only to find that it's_**

**_Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_**

**_So what am I_**

**_What do I have but negativity _**

**_'Cause I can't justify the_**

**_Way everyone is looking at me_**

**_Nothing to lose_**

**_Nothing to gain/hollow and alone_**

**_And the fault is my own_**

**_The fault is my own_**

**_I will never know_**

**_Myself until I do this on my own_**

**_And I will never feel_**

**_Anything else until my wounds are healed_**

**_I will never be_**

**_Anything 'til I break away from me_**

**_And I will break away_**

**_I'll find myself today_**

**_I want to heal_**

**_I want to feel like I'm_**

**_Somewhere I belong_**

**((((-))))**

_Somewhere I Belong_**—Linkin Park; _Meteora___**

The morning had become Sora's favorite part of the day. Why? Because he got to be woken up by Riku, of course! But _this _particular morning, he was _sorely _disappointed when he groggily opened his eyes, threw out an arm, and felt the cold, empty sheets next to him.

            "Riku?" He cleared his throat, said a bit louder. "_Riku_?"

            He looked to the alarm clock. It was11:00.

            Sora snuggled back beneath the bed sheets for a moment, trying to wake up his mind enough to process the information that his Riku wasn't in bed anymore, and why it was eleven in the morning and Sora was still in bed, leaving him six hours behind schedule.

            "Muu…" Sora pouted, mind jumbled with confusion. "Riiikuuu…"

            Wait. A stray thought had drifted into his mind, and Sora fought hard to recall it before it left him completely. He rolled onto his back, placing a hand over his eyes, brows puckering. _Come back! You are withholding information from me! _he told his own head.

            Then it all came back.

            _"Sora… Sora…" A light shaking on his shoulders. "Sora, wake up, you lovable doof…" _

_            "Go away, Mommy," Sora mumbled sleepily, curling into a little ball. He threw an arm over his eyes as the light was switched on. "Nuu! _Evil_!"___

_            An exasperated sigh, then a chuckle. "Sora, I have work this morning. I'll be back at noon. We can go to the festival then, okay? Be ready!"_

_            "…Mmm…" Sora yawned sleepily. "Have fun at work… Love you…" _

_            A derisive snort. "Cid? Fun?" Then a soft, "I love you, too, Sora," and the light was switched off, and the door shut with a quiet 'click'._

Gasp! He had an hour to get ready!

            Wrapping the sheets around his waist, he flew across the room and into his bathroom, flipping on the light switch. He discarded his sheets, climbed into the shower, and turned it on full blast cold to A: wake himself up, and B: rid the morning hard-on. To immediately let out a loud, piercing scream.

            "**_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_**"

)))))))

            Leon blinked, looking up from cleaning his Gunblade as Sora's scream reverberated through the house. He frowned, brow furrowing, and gazed idly at the wall from which Sora was behind, showering. …the Hell? Wasn't that kid supposed to be up six hours ago? Leon had assumed he was out somewhere with the brat.

            Oh. Wait. Riku had that "job" now. If working for Cid could be called a job. Well, working under Cid's tyranny was awful, and not worth it, in Leon's opinion.

            Served the bastard right. May Cid fry the brat's little ass.

            Leon returned to cleaning his Gunblade, satisfied. He'd give the kid a couple of weeks. Then he'd laugh at him—inwardly, of course—and feel victorious when Riku came home, either from having quit or being fired.

            "Eee-ya-ya!" Sora screeched, then, "LEON! WHY ISN'T THE HOT WATER WORKING!?"

            Leon sighed. Well, Cloud had spent half an hour in Leon's bathroom just five minutes ago. Of course, there wasn't any hot water. In fact, Cloud was still in his bathroom.

            _What the Hell is he _doing _in there? _Leon thought. Then, _Wait, I don't want to know. _But…he kind of did…

            Before he could think this thought through, however, Sora burst into his room, dripping wet, shivering, panting heavily, and clutching a towel at his waist that was slipping down his hips in the back.

            Leon's gaze flickered over Sora's beautiful body, lingered on the boy's pert nipples and his damp hair hanging around his face, then returned once more to his Gunblade.

            "You're dripping all over my floor," Leon said monotonously.

            But Sora was not to be deterred. "Is Cloud in your bathroom?" he huffed.

            Leon paused, then sighed, shaking his head. "Sora, I advise against—"

            Sora rushed across the room, giving a full view of his cute little ass, and dripped water all the way to the bathroom door. Only then did he bother to pull up his towel properly and bang a fist on the door.

            "CLOUD! ARE YOU IN THERE, YOU JERK!?" Sora pouted. "WE HAD AN ARRANGEMENT, REMEMBER!?"

            The door opened a crack, and Cloud stuck his head through, wet hair falling around his face, as well. "Sora, it's eleven. Don't you think you've had enough time to get into the shower?"

            "You took all the hot water!"

            "You ate the last of Aerith's scones yesterday!"

            "You took the last apple!"

            "You bought the last bottle of my favorite shampoo so that I had to use Leon's crappy disentangle shit!"

            "Hey—" Leon began curtly, only to be cut off.

            "Oh, yeah!? Well, you bought the last pair of suede pants in that nifty store, you jerk!" Sora huffed, lower lip jutting out into another customary pout.

            "I look better in them, anyway, kid," Cloud scoffed.

            "Well, give them to me so we can test that theory!"

            "What, so I can never see them again!? Yeah, right, scone stealer!"

            "Apple thief!"

            "Shampoo hog!"

            "Suede slut!"

            "Spiky-haired little—"

            "Can we please _STOP_!?" Leon yelled, immediately silencing the two spiky-haired warriors. "I am getting a _headache_," he growled.

            The Gunblade expert looked to Sora. "You're seventeen. Act like it." His gaze shifted to Cloud. "You're nearly thirty. Act like it."

            "You're closer than I am," Cloud felt it his duty to point out, and rather indignantly at that.

            "That's it." Leon pointed to the door. "Both of you—get out of my room."

            "But, Leon—"

            "Squall—"

            Silence.

            Sora and Cloud looked at one another. They looked at Leon.

            "I've got Yuffie's shower," Sora claimed, heading out of the room.

            "Aerith's," Cloud echoed, getting his things from Leon's bathroom.

            And that was that.

((((((((

            Cloud returned to find Leon facing his closet, looking for something to wear to the festival. He didn't have any clothes on at the moment, and his hair was damp, water droplets clinging to his tanned skin. He must have waited until the water warmed up, then taken a quick shower before it could grow cold again.

            Cloud was wearing a simple, sleeveless ribbed turtleneck, like back in the old days, and a pair of black leather pants that flared out at the knees. He was barefoot, and his wing was curled at his side, feathers brushing along his arms. He didn't know if he'd change for the festival or not, but right now he was comfortable.

            The blonde's eyes flicked over Leon appreciatively before he could stop himself. The Gunblade expert just looked so…delicious… Cloud found his hands itching to run up that slightly scarred, muscular chest, his mouth was dry from the want of licking Leon's pert nipples, Leon's…

            _What's wrong with me? _Cloud thought, finding himself crossing the room and standing in front of Leon. His body ached for the older man; he was growing painfully hard at the thought of just touching him. _Control yourself_! he thought frantically, but he didn't want to.

            "Cloud?" Leon questioned, tilting his head to the side.

            There. His nipple.

            Fascinated, Cloud ran his thumb over it. Leon gave a soft, surprised gasp.

            _Lick it_, his subconscious whispered. _You know you want to_.

            Suddenly, Cloud found he had Leon shoved up against the wall. Shit. He didn't remember doing that. Desire was clogging his brain, making it hard to think properly. He stared into Leon's heated gray eyes, then glanced down to see that he was indeed aroused by Cloud's violent actions.

            Cloud pinned Leon's wrists to the wall, then slowly moved his hips into Leon's. Leon let out a hiss, eyes fluttering closed, and Cloud leaned in, licking the shell of Leon's ear. Leon shivered, pressing his hips into Cloud's. Oh, gods. Cloud was _really _enjoying this. _Was _he gay?

            "You like it when I do this, right?" Cloud whispered, raking his claws lightly down Leon's chest, so that his breath came in a shuddering moan.

            "I didn't think you noticed," Leon whispered back. His breath caught as Cloud trailed his index claw down the line of Leon's thigh. "…Holy shit…"

            "I've been wanting to do this for a while." Cloud trailed his tongue down Leon's neck, paused to nip at his collarbone, then closed his mouth over Leon's nipple.

            "You're going to make me lose control, Cloud," Leon breathed, eyes fluttering closed. "If you're not ready for this, don't—"

            Cloud wrapped his fist around Leon's pulsing cock, and Leon moaned loudly, hips bucking, pushing himself into Cloud's hand.

            "Go…gods…" Leon choked out. "Cloud… I'm serious. I've been gentle with you up until now…"

            "And didn't I get frustrated with it?" Cloud whispered, breath warm against Leon's nipple. He rubbed his thumb gently over the head of Leon's cock, began pumping the Gunblade expert slowly.

            "Cloud… Sto…stop…" Leon breathed, hands coming up to clutch at Cloud's shoulders. "You don't know what you're…"

            Cloud bit down gently on Leon's nipple, began placing little bites along his chest, tongue flicking out at times, claws of his free hand lightly running up and down Leon's ass. Leon shuddered, eyes rolling back, hands gripping desperately as he sought a way to stay still from the shivers running uncontrollably through his body.

            The blond was actually enjoying this. He _wanted _to torment Leon this way; he _wanted _Leon to collapse in his arms, shivering with pleasure, begging for more. And the more he thought about it, the more he wanted it to happen. Leon… Cold Leon… Begging…

            Was he gay? Did he really want Leon? He enjoyed this and there was no denying that. He had already crossed the point where he couldn't go back anymore. Insecure or not, one didn't go this far if they didn't want it. _Want it_. Want it so bad their body ached, so bad they dreamed about it constantly.

            He couldn't take it anymore. Take anymore of Leon's heated looks, Leon's gentle brushes when they both reached for something incidentally at the same time, sleeping in the same bed as Leon but doing nothing. _Nothing_. The word hurt to even think it. Gods, he…he really _wanted _Leon. But he wanted Leon completely. Leon couldn't be anybody else's. Was this riding on the point of obsession? He didn't know…

            "All I do is think about you," Cloud whispered to Leon's ear, backing slowly towards the bed, Leon stumbling along in Cloud's arms. Cloud wrapped his arms around Leon's back, cradling the brunette to him, claws running up and down Leon's spine slowly, lightly. Leon moaned, nearly a sob, hands beginning to slide beneath Cloud's turtleneck.

            "About how I want to do this…" He licked the shell of Leon's ear again, bit down, and gyrated his hips slowly into Leon's. "…And so many other things… What the Hell is wrong with me…?"

            Leon shoved Cloud onto the bed, crawling up the length of him slowly, cat-like, grays eyes heated, glittering with lust. He abruptly stopped, however, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head to the side, hands fisting in his bedcovers. "Damnit, Cloud…" he gritted out. "I'm going to wind up raping you."

            Cloud sat up, smirking, and slowly began pulling off his turtleneck, revealing inch by agonizing inch of his skin. He tossed the turtleneck off to the side, sighed softly as Leon's hands immediately ran up his sides, thumbs brushing over his nipples.

            _I want this… Oh, gods I want this… _Cloud thought with dawning horror. _I really, truly want this…_

Leon kissed him, pushing him back on the bed, a gentle kiss despite the obvious restraint he had to put on his desires. Cloud growled impatiently, pressing himself up against Leon, shoving his tongue past Leon's lips and touching Leon's with his. Leon moaned, pushing his hips impatiently into Cloud's, then broke away, trembling.

            "Cloud… I'm warning you…"

            "I want to rape you, molest you, do so much sin with you," Cloud breathed to Leon's ear, causing the older man to shudder. He placed a hand on Leon's shoulder, gently raked his claws down Leon's chest. "Please… I want this… Give it to me… Don't deny me it…"

            "Give what to you, Cloud?" Leon asked softly.

            "_Fuck _me," Cloud whispered. "_Fuck _me, Leon… Squall… Be… Be with me…and only me…"

            It was then that Leon really did break away. He stood, adverting his gaze, and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry, Cloud."

            Cloud hissed in frustration, fist slamming down on the mattress. "Why? Why can't you?" His eyes narrowed. "It's Sora, isn't it?" Leon wouldn't look at him. "Damnit, Squall, what the Hell is your problem? The kid is in love with Riku! _Riku_! Does that sound _remotely _like your name!?"

            Abruptly, Cloud found himself slammed into the wall, Leon's fist gripping Cloud's hair and tilting his head back. He glared down into Cloud's eyes, his own glinting dangerously.

            "Shut up," he growled.

            But Cloud was not to be deterred. "Stop living in your fantasy world, Squall."

            "It's _Leon_," Leon said coldly.

            "Fine—hide yourself away," Cloud whispered. "But at least I'm facing my deepest, darkest fears. At least I'm striving not to be in denial anymore, Leon."

            Leon let out a cry of outrage, standing and pulling at his hair. "Damnit, Cloud!" He whirled, pointing furiously out to the side. "Why!?"

            "Why what?"

            "Why do you have to be the one to point this out to me!? Everyone else _wants _Sora and I to be together, but you don't wanna cheer me on like they do! You play this _game_, and yet you still point out to me that Sora… Sora…" He buried his face in his hands, then said softly, "That Sora is in love with the brat…and not me." He turned away from Cloud, ran a hand through his hair again. "Damnit, I love that kid."

            "Do you?" Cloud insisted, getting up from the bed and crossing the room to Leon. "Or is it just an illusion? Like I said before? You've never wanted him, but he's always been there, and now that's he gone, you want him?"

            "It's not like that!" Leon raged, facing Cloud angrily.

            "Then what the Hell is it like!? It's like you just said—you love Sora, Leon, but he doesn't love you! He loves Riku! He won't _ever _love you like you think he will! I'm sorry that I have to be the one that makes you see the truth, Leon, but I'm tired of seeing everyone _lie _to you! And besides, do you really think it would work!?"

            "What the Hell is that supposed to mean!?" Leon yelled, hands clenching into tight fists at his sides.

            "Come on!" Cloud cried in disbelief. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, Leon! You're a little over a decade older than him, you don't wanna open up to anyone, you—"

            "—I'm starting to open up to him—!"

            "He's everyone's Light, and you're lost! You're so _lost_, Leon! Who are you!? Do you even know!?"

            "I am Squall Leonhart!" Leon shouted furiously. "I was the commander of Balamb Garden! I was part of an Elite Force—SeeD! I—"

            "—Was with Rinoa, who died! With Seifer, who died! They both died, Leon! They're gone! _Gone_! And yet you still cling to their memories! How the Hell do you expect you're gonna open up to that kid when you're so…so…_afraid _of getting hurt again, of being left alone!? You're reaching for the one thing that you've had _there _for the past three years, that hasn't shoved you away! Well, _Squall_, he's _gone_! He is with someone else! He does not love _you_! Look around you, Squall! You are _not _alone—there are other people who love you! Stop clinging to the memories!"

            "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!"

            "You are in such _denial_! Stop pushing everyone away! What the Hell did you plan on doing when Sora wanted you to _listen _to him, to _talk _to him, to _open up _to him!? He needs love, he needs affection, he needs all the things that you can't offer!"

            "I can offer them just fine—"

            "Not in the current mess you're in!" Cloud cried. "Leon—it's been three years! Sora's a light-hearted _boy_! You've hurt him countless times! Maybe, just _maybe_, he's tired of it! Maybe he's actually in love with someone else! Maybe his attention is diverted to someone who's _not _you, someone who loves him, too, and I mean _really _loves him! Someone who's not afraid to communicate with him, someone who doesn't push him away, someone who _needs _him!"

            "SHUT. _UP_!" Leon screamed, and it was then that Cloud saw the tears shining in his eyes. "Shut up!"

            "Squall… You're…"

            "Fuck you, Cloud! Fuck you!" Leon raged, the tears streaming freely down his cheeks. "Who the fuck do you think you are!? You're no better than I am! You're in even more of a mess than I am! At least I know who the Hell I am!"

            "Don't you see, Squall? We're together in this! Together!"

            "No! You're right—I'm alone! And _no one _understands!"

            "Squall—"

            "I am so _tired _of searching for my Light! Every time I get close to someone, they die on me, and I've never opened up to them like I wanted to! I never did enough! I never felt enough! I never allowed them to see the depths of my heart! But Sora's different—I _want _him to see! I _want _him to be close to me!"

            "Do you really, Squall?" Cloud asked softly. "Or do you just want it to be that way? Think—think back to the time before Riku interfered. Is it any different now than it was then?"

            "Shut up," Leon choked. "Just shut the Hell up."

            "No, Squall! You always do this! You never listen! Do you see what's around you!? Hell, do you even know Yuffie's madly in love with you!?"

            "Yuffie's what?" Leon asked, shocked.

            "Or that Aerith bakes you cookies and buys you new pants or anything that reminds her of you just hoping to see a smile on your frigid lips!?"

            Leon took a step back, shaking his head.

            "Or that maybe I care about you, Hell, maybe even I love—!?" Eyes wide, Cloud clamped a hand over his mouth.

            Stunned silence.           

            "…"

            "…Squall, I…" Cloud breathed, then trailed off. He closed his eyes, turning his head to the side. "I'm sorry."

            "Is it true?" Leon asked.

            "Is what true?" Cloud sighed, shoulders slumping a little.

            "Do you love me?"

            "I… Maybe…?" Cloud sat back down on the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his hands in his hair as he stared at the floor. "Squall, I don't know what to think, what to feel anymore. I…want you. But more than just physically. I want you emotionally, in the mind, in the heart, too… I'm tired of lying to myself." He looked up at Leon, tears shining in his eyes, as well. "I'm sorry."

            Leon stared at him hard, lips pressed into a thin line, then swallowed and turned away, back towards the closet. He yanked a pair of pants down, pulled them up, grabbed his bomber jacket off the back of his chair, and started towards the door.

            "Squall, where are you going?" Cloud choked.

            Leon paused at the doorway, glanced briefly over his shoulder at Cloud, then closed his eyes and left, slamming the door behind him.

            Cloud slid off the bed, to his bottom, and buried his face in his hands, finally letting his tears overcome him. Sobs left him in great, shuddering gasps of air, tears poured down his cheeks, and his heart hurt again. But this time it was with the sting of rejection.

            "Squall…"

((((((

            Leon burst into Sora's room, his mind reeling. Never minding Riku lying patiently on the bed as he waited for Sora to finish changing, the Gunblade expert strode quickly over to Sora before Riku could stop him.

            "Hey, what—Leon! What's wrong? Are you okay!?"

            Leon grabbed his forearm, then began dragging him out of the room.

            "Leon, what are you doing!?"

            "Hey, what the Hell—"

            "Shut the fuck up!" Leon snarled at Riku, then shut the door behind him and whirled on Sora, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders. "I need to talk to you. Now."

            Sora blinked, puzzled, cast an uneasy glance towards the door. "But Leon, I—"

            "Before the brat interferes, say you'll talk to me." Leon's grip tightened, almost painfully. "_Please_," he gritted out.

            Sora was _beyond _confused, and his brows puckered thoughtfully and in concern, but he nodded nonetheless. "Okay… Just let me—" He was cut off, giving a yelp as Leon dragged him down the hallway, through the kitchen, and out the door. "Leon!" he wailed. "I'm only in my boxers!"

            Leon ignored him, mind in overdrive now. Cloud loved him. _Loved _him. And, most of all, was he _right_? _Did _Leon really love Sora? He thought about all the things Cloud had pointed out to him, and he couldn't help but feel the blond-haired warrior was right. Right about so many things…all those things… But what the Hell was Leon supposed to do now? He had grown so accustomed to Sora, was he just supposed to give him away like that?

            _"It's like you just said—you love Sora, Leon, but he doesn't love you! He loves Riku! He won't ever love you like you think he will!"_

"Leon, please, slow down, we're getting stares—"

_            "They're gone! _Gone_! And yet you still cling to their memories! How the Hell do you expect you're gonna open up to that kid when you're so…so…_afraid_ of getting hurt again, of being left alone!?"_

Well, what…? What…? _Damnit_! Cloud _was _right! But it wasn't Leon's fault! He was just afraid of getting so hurt… But he wanted Sora to know, didn't he?

            _"Leon—it's been three years! Sora's a light-hearted_ boy_!_ _You've hurt him countless times! Maybe, just _maybe, _he's tired of it! Maybe he's actually in love with someone else! Maybe his attention is diverted to someone who's _not_ you_, _someone who loves him, too, and I mean _really_ loves him!_ _Someone who's not afraid to communicate with him, someone who doesn't push him away, someone who _needs_ him!"___

Did Leon need Sora? Yes. But…for the _right _reasons?

_            "You are in such _denial_!_ _Stop pushing everyone away! What the Hell did you plan on doing when Sora wanted you to _listen_ to him_, _to _talk_ to him, to _open up_ to him!? He needs love, he needs affection, he needs all the things that you can't offer!"_

            _Damnit__, I… I _can't _offer him those things, can I? I'm cold, I brood a lot, and I'd rather shove everyone away from me… Maybe it's best that I don't get close to anyone at all… But… Cloud's right… I didn't even look at Sora that way until I heard him dreaming about Riku… Then I felt…jealous? Possessive? Suddenly, what was right before my very eyes, always at my side, was snatched away from me. All the attention I needed was gone. I…_

Leon came to a slow stop, realizing they were in a distant corner in the Third District, and looked over his shoulder at Sora. Sora was pouting, one arm folded over his chest, like a modest little girl. His sapphire blue eyes glared up at Leon.

            "Hey—everyone saw me in my _boxers_, Leon!" he huffed indignantly.

            Leon let his eyes rove over Sora's heart-shaped, boyish face. There were still traces of baby fat, his eyes were still big and as easy to read as an open book, his hair was so soft, so silky, and sticking up all over the place like he hadn't bothered to brush his hair in decades. Even his stomach still had its little gut.

            But… Leon had grown to…love…this face? No, not love. He had grown used to it. Used to it being there. Used to it looking up at him with adoring eyes. Used to the cheerful smile, the glomps, and the long babbling about nothing special. The snoring, the sleep-walking, the carefree way he'd strut around the house in nothing more than a pair of boxers like he had on now.

            What was so special about Sora? What was it that caused everyone to be drawn to him like a moth to a flame? Sora was such a special boy… But… That was just it. Sora was a _boy_. He wasn't even a man yet. Hell, he still had that baby fat. And his heart was still delicate, fragile, needing to be filled with experiences, needing to be loved like it could be loved. Leon would…bruise this heart… He was too uncaring, too aloof. Sora…needed someone who could love him…_really _love him… Not just keep shoving him away.

            _…Sora…_

Leon reached out, cupping Sora's cheeks in his hands. He tilted the boy's face up, earning a curious look and a blush, then a startled gasp of surprise as he softly pressed his lips to Sora's.

            Sora broke away seconds later. "Leon, stop, I—"

            Leon pulled Sora back against him, cupping the back of the teenager's neck, tilting his head up. He clung to Sora's warm body, needing to feel him at least one last time, if this was really it.

            "Leon, please, don't—"

            Leon closed his eyes, kissed Sora again, desperately, fiercely. After a moment or two, Sora's lips parted beneath his own, and their kiss was fierce, passionate, full of…something… But it wasn't love. It was…something so desperate…so… Leon didn't know what it was. Would he ever? Between Sora and he, nothing was ever right. It was always off-balance. Was Sora really his Light? Yes. But… Sora was also Riku's Light, Kairi's Light… And…Sora…loved…Riku…

            A gasp.

            Sora broke away, whirling to stare into wide, aqua green eyes. His own eyes widened, and he reached out to his silver-haired lover.

            "Riku, I—"

            Riku took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief, and tears shined in his beautiful eyes. When Sora took a step toward him, a regretful expression on his face, Riku only backed away further. Distrust filled his eyes, hurt, and he whirled, running away.

            "RIKU!" Sora yelled, moving forward. "RIKU, WAIT!"

            He was gone.

            Sora sent Leon a quick glance, uncertain, then shook his head and started after his lover, pain gripping his heart. Riku was hurting really badly. Damnit! Why had Sora kissed Leon back like that!? What the Hell was _wrong _with him!?

            "RIKU!" he cried, searching frantically through the alleyways. He burst through the doors to the Second District, but all he could see was people bustling about, dressed in yukatas[1], laughing and chatting as the festival carried on.

            Panic shot through Sora, and he began searching desperately for his lover, pushing people out of his away. He searched all over the Second District, but to no avail, and so he headed to his house, calling out for Riku. He searched in all of his rooms, stumbled into Leon's to see Cloud look up with teary eyes. But he was so concerned about Riku that he didn't bother to question if the blond was okay and instead ran out again, bursting back into the streets.

            "RIIIIIIIKKKKKKKUUUUUUU!"

            No returning call.

            Damnit!

            Ten minutes later, Sora had searched every last inch of Traverse Town for Riku, and he still hadn't found the boy. He was finally about to collapse in an alleyway in the First District, worried and out of breath, when he felt a sudden absence in his heart. He touched his chest, confused, then realized what that meant.

            "No… Oh, no…" Sora choked, tears hot in his eyes. "No, no, no…"

            Riku wasn't here. That meant…that…he had left…

            Sora threw his arms out to either side of him, tossing back his head, then screamed, "RIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

He collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands, and sobbed.

))))))    

            Darkness… Sora was falling through darkness… He called out for Riku, but there wasn't an answer, and so he wept, curling into a ball.

            …Water…

            Sora landed on his tiptoes slowly on water that rippled beneath his feet, but he did not sink. Instead, he could stand on the water, and he cradled his hands to his chest, head bowed, naked. He looked up to see himself facing him, shaking his head in disgust.

            _Look what you've done… You've made him go away…_

_            No! I didn't mean it! Leon kissed me, and I—_

_            But he _saw _it! He _saw _you kissing Leon! Because you kissed him back!_

_            Well, I… I still…have…had?…feelings for Leon!_

_            And yet you're in love with Riku? You can't love two people!_

_            I _don't _love Leon! I…_

_            It doesn't matter anymore. He's gone. _Gone. _And there's _nothing _you can do about it, because you don't know where he went!_

_            …Riku…_Sora thought, tears in his eyes.

            _"Sora, wanna share a paopu fruit with me before we leave in the morning?" _

_            "But… Isn't that for, like, lovers or something? I don't think—"_

_            "Come on! Our destinies will be intertwined forever, and we'll never be separated, Sora. We're best friends. Isn't that what you want?" _

_            "Yeah…"_

_            …Come back… I… I need you… _Sora thought, and his other self slowly faded away into the darkness. Tears trickled freely down Sora's cheeks, and he collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands. _Riku__… You've become my Light… I… I didn't mean for you to see that, I didn't know it was going to happen… Better yet… It _shouldn't _have happened… _

"I'm so sorry, Riku," Sora sobbed, trembling. "I still had feelings for Leon. I couldn't help them! Did you just expect them to go away? Then again, I shouldn't have had them in the first place… This shouldn't have happened at all… Please…forgive me… And if you don't, I'll understand, but Riku… I love you… I love you…"

            There was no answer, just the darkness, the water, and the sound of his own sobs reaching his ears.

            Sora's eyes flew open as he gasped, and he lay panting, staring at the ceiling, drenched in sweat. The sheets were tangled around his legs, it was completely dark out, meaning the festival had ended long ago, and…

            Sora turned on his side, reaching for Riku instinctively, but his lover wasn't there. Tears filled his eyes again, and he curled around a pillow, clutching at it desperately.

            _Muu__… Riku… Come back…_

(((((

            "He won't come out of his room, and he hasn't eaten for days… Squall, what the heck happened?"

            Leon wouldn't answer—he just turned his head to the side, staring at the flowered wallpaper Aerith had had Cloud paste on a couple of years ago. His cup of tea was growing cool in his hands, and his eyelids were heavy, drooping with lack of sleep. Everyone was worried about Sora, including himself.

            Yuffie sighed, plopping down on the couch across from Leon, and propped her chin up on the palms of her hands. "We can't figure out what's goin' on without your help, ya know."

            "Yuffie," Aerith said softly, patting her shoulder. "Leon doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want to." She cast Leon a sidelong glance, then pulled the ninja to her feet. "Come on, let's go make some Cloud some tea, as well."

            "_He _hasn't left his room, either," Yuffie huffed. "I wanna know what's going on! Where the heck is Riku? Why'd he leave? What's eating Cloud? I tried to give him some breakfast in bed today, and he nearly bit my head off. And Squall's not an exception to the crankiness, either—yesterday I asked him if he wanted anything, and it was like I was looking into Cerberus's eyes." She shivered at the memory. "It was scary!"

            Aerith sighed softly as they entered the kitchen, shaking her head and pouring Cloud a cup of hot tea. "Yuffie… Maybe it's best if we…don't interfere with this one. If they don't want to talk about it, it's best if we don't intrude. They'll tell us when the time is right." She put the cup of tea on a saucer, turned to the ninja. "Do you want to take it to Cloud?"

            But Yuffie only held up her hands. "Nuh-uh. I don't think so. I don't wanna die an early death, Aerith!"

            So the flower girl from the slums simply turned and headed towards Cloud's room, Yuffie muttering under her breath from behind her. The girl bounced back into the living room, probably to try and weasel what was going on out of Leon, despite Aerith's advice.

            Aerith knocked gently on Cloud's door. "Cloud?" she called softly.

            "What?" came the muffled reply.

            "Are you decent?"

            "Yeah—is Yuffie with you?"

            "No."

            It was silent after that, and so Aerith took it as her permission to come in. She shut the door softly behind her, smiled gently at Cloud, who was lying on his bed, watching the ceiling with a distant gaze. "Hey, Cloud. I brought you a cup of tea."

            Cloud waved a hand without looking at her. "Put it on the nightstand. I'll drink it later."

            She sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed and placing a hand on his forearm. "It'll be cold, then, Cloud."

            The blond-haired warrior didn't reply, just lapsed back into silence. Aerith took his hand, concerned, as usual, for her best friend, and Cloud's fingers wrapped gently back around Aerith's. He gave her a very faint smile, then pulled her down beside him, holding her to his side.

            "Cloud—!" she yelped, then quieted and snuggled against him, an amused smile on her lips.

            "I…told…Leon that I loved him," Cloud said softly.

            Aerith's eyes widened a little, but she said nothing, waiting for Cloud to continue, and he did after a moment.

            "…Or, at least, I sort of did…"

            He relayed what had happened to Aerith, and the flower girl remained silent the entire time, knowing that if she interrupted, Cloud might not have the courage to continue. When he was at last finish, Aerith sat up, smiling down at him, then smoothed a thumb over his brow and kissed his forehead very tenderly.

            "Oh, Cloud," she sighed, shaking her head.

            "What?" Cloud frowned.

            She laughed a little. "Do you really think that that was the proper way to go about it? Leon's such a sensitive man… I know that it doesn't seem like it on the outside, but you and I both know that his heart is more fragile than he leads others to believe. Maybe you shouldn't have told him how you felt about how he felt like that."

            Cloud heaved an impatient sigh. "Well, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I just got so…frustrated. What the Hell am I supposed to do? I hate bottling my feelings. I've done it before, and it sucked. So I've gotta let them out…at least to the people I feel like I can trust…" He trailed off with a weary sigh this time, then glanced up at Aerith. "Do you think he'll ever talk to me again?"

            "I'm sure he will." Aerith stood, patting Cloud's hand. "I know he could go on ignoring a person forever, but Leon likes to brood a lot, think everything out. I'm sure he'll come to the realization that you're not against him, or playing with his feelings, and he'll try in his own way to talk to you about it."

            "Yeah, I guess you're right…" Cloud smiled. "Thanks, Aerith."

            She beamed a smile. "Oh, you're welcome." She gave him a stern look. "Now drink your tea—it's getting cold!" And she left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

            To come face to face with Leon.

            "Oh!" she said, startled, then smiled. "I'm sorry—you scared me for a minute there, Leon."

            "…Sorry." Leon sighed, running a hand through his hair, and pushed up from the wall that he was leaning against. "I…heard you two talking."

            Aerith's eyes twinkled. "I didn't think you were an eavesdropper, Leon."

            Leon frowned at her, then realized she was kidding and gave her a very faint smile. "Is it safe for me to go in there?"

            She shrugged. "As long as you're not Yuffie, anyone's safe," she hummed, then winked mischievously and walked off down the hallway, back towards the kitchen. Leon stared after her a moment, amused, and waited until he could hear her talking to Yuffie before walking into Cloud's room without knocking. Leon might have been an occasional eavesdropper, but Aerith was purely devious when it came to that.

            Leon shut the door behind him, and when Cloud remained staring up at the ceiling, he leaned back against the door and folded his arms over his chest, waiting for the blond to acknowledge his presence.

            Finally, after what seemed like five minutes of silence, Cloud lowered his gaze from the ceiling and looked to the Gunblade expert, expression unreadable. He sat up, crossing his legs Indian-style, and watched the older man with glowing, Mako blue eyes, blond hair frazzled from having had his hands run through it countless times.

            They stared at each other for a time, Cloud guarded and giving away nothing, Leon trying to find the words to what he had to say. After another few moments, Leon walked over to Cloud slowly, crawled up onto the bed, then closed his eyes and pressed his lips gently to the blonde's. Cloud kissed him back very carefully, hands in his lap, eyes open and watching Leon's every movement.

            Leon laughed a little as he pulled away, then rested his forehead on Cloud's. "I don't suppose you'd forgive me if I said I was…sorry…"

            "That depends."

            "On?"

            "On whether you're being sincere or not."

            "Very sincere." Leon sighed, shaking his head, and stood to pace the room, running his hands through his hair. "Cloud, I've been thinking…about what you said to me… And…everything you've told me is right." He stopped pacing and turned to Cloud, lowering his arms to his sides, gray eyes sad. "I feel like the past month or so has been a complete waste of my time. Me chasing after Sora... Sora loving Riku… But you…you've been there to play along with the game, and I…well… I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you."

            Cloud shrugged. "You're welcome," he replied nonchalantly.

            Leon watched him for a few moments, then gave a bitter smile, staring down at his hands. "Anyway, I… I just came to say that. Goodnight." And he left without so much as another word.

            Cloud stared at the door for a moment, then, in a sudden fit of anger, grabbed his pillow and threw it as hard as he could at the door, letting out a scream of rage. Breathing heavily, he pounded a fist into his bed, blinking back tears, then buried his face in his hands, ran them through his hair.

            _Get yourself under control, Strife_, he told himself, trembling. _It's Leon. What the Hell did you expect? A love confession in return? _

_            …Maybe…_

_            ……Yes……_

He heaved a weary sigh, staring up at the ceiling once more. _Someone… Please… Tell me what the Hell I'm supposed to do…_

))))))

[1] …Yukatas… They're light, cotton summer kimonos. ;;


	9. It's Time to Go Home

****

Disclaimer: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. Oh, well.

--------

****

Author's Notes…

****

Vash's Girl: Ahem. Well, sorry for the delay in this chapter. I've been kinda busy trying to figure out how it was going to turn out. x.X;; Hopefully, you guys'll think it's okay…

****

VG: I know it's, like, the shortest chapter so far, but it's like that for a reason. So please bear with me, if you'd be so kind ((humble bow))

****

VG: Well, I think that there's only going to be one or two more chapters… So, sadly, this story is definitely coming to an end. And it's been such a long road! Eight chapters, and it's been over a year! But the story can't really go on any longer… It's pages are about to be finished… I feel so sad writing this… Hmmm…

****

VG and Vash: Well, enjoy the chapter, read, review, leave donuts, and remember that this world is made of **LOVE AND PEACE!!!!**

--------

****

Behind Closed Doors

--------

This absence in his heart… It ached… It was like a great, gaping wound, and only the return of his loved one would heal it. Would soothe it over, kiss all the pain away. But until that time came, he could only weep, curl into himself, clutching at this absence, wanting more than anything for it to be filled again.

And this dark abyss… He was shrouded in this darkness, lost, and there was no light. No light to shine through and guide him out of the abyss. He couldn't even feel his way out; he was so lost, so hopeless. Where was his Light?

"Where are you, Riku!?" he called, his voice echoing around him, but there was no answer.

Tears in his eyes, Sora turned slowly about, eyes gazing off into the darkness, but he couldn't see anything. Not even his own hand before him as he reached out, trying to grasp onto anyone, anything.

The paopu fruit… Their connection couldn't be broken, only in death, and Riku certainly wasn't dead yet. Not if Sora was here. Because 'here' was in the heart. In their connection together. And since it wasn't severed yet, it still existed.

Riku's presence was faint… But… It was there nonetheless. And before it faded completely, Sora was determined to find his best friend, his lover. He would, no matter what it took.

This…darkness…was so depressing. It felt as if each step he took was leading him into further and further loss of his self. That if he went on much longer, he'd be lost entirely—his heart, his soul, his mind. He had to find Riku. And quickly.

But he had been searching for days, and so far there hadn't been any trace of his other half. Because that was what Riku was. Sora's other half. They were each other's Light, each other's Darkness, and damnit all, nothing would change that! Because if Riku was gone…Sora couldn't live. Not after all they had been through, still had yet to go through together. Their lives were ahead of them, _together_, as one, and Sora wasn't ready to let go of that yet. He wouldn't _ever _be ready, or willing, to let go of that.

Sora just had to find him… And if Riku didn't want to be with him ever again, well, then… He'd live, if only he could still be Riku's friend, at the least. Without Riku… It just wasn't fair. He couldn't do it! Was this obsession? No. It couldn't be. Riku was his other half, his other self… And, without being complete, was there really a life? After having found his other half, after having savored completion, he couldn't survive without it being gone… Life just wouldn't be the same anymore… People are lost and drifting until they find their other half, and Sora had found his.

"Riku!" he called, resolve renewing itself. He had to be strong! He couldn't be weak like this! Couldn't afford to, or the darkness would swallow him whole. He had to find Riku, that was his only objective, and only then would he take his final punishment. "Riku—I'm here! I'm not leaving!"

Silence. That's all there ever was. The darkness and the silence.

"RIIIIIKKKKKUUUU!" Sora called desperately. "Riku, damnit! Where are you!?" He held his arms out to either side of him, tilting his head back, searching the endless darkness. "RIIIKKKKUUUU! I'm here, and I'm not leaving you! I'll find you! Make this easier on the both of us and come out already!"

Abruptly, a whisper. _What if I kill myself, what then?_

Sora gasped. No! "Riku, no! Don't!"

_What's the point of living anymore? I don't have you. I…I have no one._

"Riku, that's not true! You've always had me!"

_But Leon…_

"Riku, screw Leon! He's a jerk! He's cold-hearted more than half the time, he never wants to listen to me, or talk to me! He's never there for me!"

_Then why did you…?_

"Riku, I don't know! I didn't know what was wrong with me! Do you want me to lie?" Tears in his eyes, Sora swallowed back a sob. "I was still attracted to him, and I have no idea why. Maybe it was because you weren't there, and I wanted to seek comfort. And you came back so fast, that I had feelings for you, but I still had feelings for Leon, too, at the time. When he kissed me back there… I… I didn't feel anything… It was…like a good-bye… I know I shouldn't have done it…"

The whispers, right behind him, harsh and echoing, like a slap to his soul. _That's right, you shouldn't have! If you _really _loved me, you wouldn't have!_

"Riku—that's not true!"

The whispers were now gone, fading into the silence, the never-ending darkness.

"RIKUUU!"

Silence.

"Damnit…"

And so Sora began to search again.

--------

Cloud studied his reflection, haunted, glowing Mako blue eyes staring back at him. He raked a hand through his spiky blond locks, though it felt naked without its usual claws. He stared at his hand, twitching his fingers, curling them in towards his palm, then sighed, shaking his head.

He was wearing an un-tucked, white, button-down, long-sleeved shirt over a pair of black slacks and penny loafers. He had on a tie, even, to add to the effect, along with a belt. Though one couldn't see the belt, Cloud supposed it didn't matter. It was keeping the slacks from sliding off his hips.

Swishing his wing, a few stray feathers gliding through the air, broken, Cloud touched over his chest where Griever was pressed against his skin. Leon still hadn't asked for it back yet, and, if Cloud had any say about it, he wouldn't be getting it back any time soon. No. Not with Cloud's plan in motion.

Cloud loved Leon, that much was certain. It had been about a week since he had confessed his feelings for Leon, and so far, Leon had been doing his best to keep his distance. Well, no more. Sora was depressed, locked away in his room, Riku was missing, and they couldn't even go looking for him because of the boundaries. He'd love to feel guilty for what he was planning, but he had done all he could.

It was now time to get Leon into his bed.

A nice, sensible date. Then they'd move from there. But whether Leon wanted it or not, they were going to have sex, and that was final. Not at Leon's house, of course, because Sora was there, but at Cloud's house, and the blond had made sure Aerith and Yuffie wouldn't be there tonight. No, in fact, they were looking over Sora.

Cloud turned and examined his room, then walked over to his dresser to make sure he had everything. He pawed through bottles of lotion—what? He liked his skin to feel nice—until he reached the lubricant he had purchased the other day, and put it before all the other bottles. Next he pulled out a lighter, shut the drawer, and moved over to his closet and pulled down a box of the candles he had purchased the same day he had bought the lubricant.

The blond set the candles around the room, then stood back to examine his handiwork. He _had _considered an even more romantic route, with roses and all, and had…given into the urge. Gods, when had he become so girly?

White sheets, rose petals… Sparkly clean room… Candles… Really good lube… Okay, now all he had to do was set the mood before they reached his home.

Yeah, Cloud was a little bit…nervous. Okay, so he was _really _nervous. After all, after a lot of thinking he had come to the conclusion that he was indeed gay…and he wanted Leon. It all made sense, really, but it still made him uncomfortable to think about how he had been in denial all these years. Well, _one _of them had to 'fess up to the truth.

Casting a last glance back at his reflection, Cloud strode from the room, intent on making it to the Second District so he could pick up Leon.

--------

Leon sighed, examining his attire. Black ribbed turtleneck, leather pants that flared out at the knee with zippers along the sides and buckles around his thighs. The necklace Cloud had given him was in plain view, and the Gunblade expert reached out to idly touch the long, black feather.

He felt bad about all of this… Sora was locked away in his room and hadn't come out for nearly a week because of Riku's disappearance, and it was all thanks to him. If he hadn't…given Sora that last good-bye kiss, Riku would still be here with Sora right now, Sora would be happy, and…

Wasn't he supposed to be _glad _the brat was gone? Leon disliked him, but it had mostly been because he was with Sora. But now that he had given up on Sora, he found that…he didn't really give a damn about Riku anymore. Well, that was untrue. He was still pissed. Riku should have handled the situation like a man and faced his problems, not run away because of it and leaving Sora in his current state.

_Ungrateful shit_, Leon thought venomously, fingers tightening around his feather. When he realized he was crushing it, he quickly let it go and smoothed it out, then sighed again, brought back to his present problem.

Cloud.

How did he feel towards the blond? He desired him, that was for certain. But…was it anything more than that? He had been in denial so long about Sora, he hadn't really given thought to Cloud, other than the fact that it felt really right when they touched, or kissed...

Touched…or kissed…

Gods. Leon ran a hand through his hair, then shook his head and headed out of his room towards the living room. He stopped halfway, however, and looked at Sora's door. After a moment of indecision, he made up his mind and tried the knob.

Locked.

Leon studied the door for another long moment, gaze sad, then let his fingers fall back to his side and continued his journey into the living room.

--------

_Riku unsheathed a small knife from his hip, cutting into the skin of the paopu fruit until he reached the meat. Sora watched with wide, sapphire blue eyes, a bit nervous, chewing on his bottom lip._

"Riku?"

"Yes, Sora?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm positive. What about you?" Aqua green eyes suddenly bore hard into sapphire blue. "Are you changing your mind? It's too late to back out now, Sora!"

"No, no, no!" Grinning sheepishly, Sora raised his hands, waving them about. "I didn't mean it like that! It's just…" He lowered his gaze, bottom lip jutting out into a customary pout. "I'm…nervous…Riku…"

Gaze softening, Riku placed a hand on Sora's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, it'll be okay. You can trust me, right?"

Sora nodded, then looked up to see Riku smiling at him. Sora's lips spread into a happy grin of their own, and he nodded again, certain this time. "Un!"

"Good." And Riku went back to cutting the paopu.

Sora sighed, tilting his head up, eyes fluttering open. He was sitting in the darkness, arms curled loosely around his legs. Their memories kept flitting around in the darkness, begging Sora's attention, and Sora was growing weary because of it. All these memories, and still no sign of his Riku.

"Riku, where are you?" he whispered.

--------

"Cloud…" Leon's breath caught in his throat, eyes a little wide. "You look…" He gestured uselessly, searching for words.

Cloud's lips curled up into a little smirk. "Gorgeous? Sexy as all Hell? Beautiful? Striking? Handsome?"

Leon shook his head, and when Cloud's confidence faltered a little, he said, "No… There is no real word for it."

Cloud crossed the living room, hesitated, then pulled Leon into a hug, tucking his head beneath Leon's chin. Leon stiffened, and Cloud almost let go, but then Leon relaxed and wrapped his arms in return about Cloud.

"Leon, can I ask you something…?" Cloud whispered, words almost gone unheard, but they reached Leon's keen ears.

"What?" Leon grunted.

"Can we…" He ran his hands up Leon's back to his shoulders, pulled away a little to stare into Leon's stormy gray eyes. "Can we kiss again?" _Because this time I know I want you. This time I want it to be totally true._

Leon cupped Cloud's face in his hands, gave a brief smile, then touched his lips gently to Cloud's. Cloud gave a soft sigh, wrapping his arms around Leon's shoulders, and Leon pressed a little more firmly, wondering.

_…How do I feel about Cloud…? I had thought I loved Sora… And it turned out I was wrong… So the feeling of love… How do I even know what it is? … But I remember her… And I remember him… And each time I fall in love, it's different from the last. It's never really the same. So how do I know what this feeling inside of me is? How do I know it's love? _Is _it love?_

Cloud's every little sigh excited him. Everything the blond did sent shivers of this excitement through him, set his heart fluttering. If Cloud was gazing idly off into space, Leon would find himself watching him for no real reason. Leon knew everything there was to know about this man, as he had unconsciously studied him for the past three years.

So what did that mean? Really?

Every little touch set him on fire… His voice was a comfort… His personality was totally intriguing… If Cloud cared passionately about something, Leon usually found himself caring, as well… If Cloud felt unjustified about something, Leon usually found himself feeling unjustified, as well… If Cloud was happy about something, Leon usually found himself feeling happy, as well… And so the list went on and on.

Searching, searching… Sora was his Light, which would always remain true. But… What did he want Cloud to be?

"What do I want you to be, Cloud?"

"…Mmm… Your lover," Cloud hummed, burying his hands in Leon's hair, pulling him down for another kiss.

_My lover? Do I want him that way? Well, I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't. Yes, I want Cloud. I want him so bad I ache. But do I deserve to have him…? What if I'm all wrong about it, like with Sora? Can I risk making that mistake again? Can I hurt more people again? Can I hurt Cloud even more than I already have…?_

"Whatever happens…" Cloud whispered, as if reading Leon's thoughts. Leon stared down into his hooded, glowing, Mako blue eyes. "…Leon… I will always love you…"

"…Cloud?"

"Even if you hurt me without meaning to, I will love you. No matter what you do, no matter what happens, I will always, **_always _**love you…"

Tears.

Leon gingerly pressed the pad of his index finger to one as it slowly trickled down Cloud's cheek. Those blue eyes stared up at him, full of love, full of wanting, full of a great, terrible sadness. Was Leon the cause of this sadness, this longing? He knew he was.

_This beautiful creature… He's given his heart to me completely… He doesn't care what happens, as long as he can be with me… Am I deserving of this? After all I've done? After everything that's happened? Can I honestly let myself have him?_

"Cloud…"

"I love you." The tears began falling faster.

"…Cloud…"

Cloud sniffled, cupping Leon's face in his hands in return. "I love you…" He kissed Leon, so that Leon tasted his salty tears, and in that moment, Leon knew that Cloud was his completely, and that he liked it that way. He wanted it that way. He felt that it _should be _that way.

"…Love me…"

The hurt in Cloud's voice, the begging, the pleading, all in that soft little whisper, that soft little plead, cut deep into Leon's heart. He hated being the source of Cloud's pain like this. He hated it with a passion. He wanted to…soothe it all away…make everything better.

But the last time he had grown so _attached _to a person, allowed himself to fall so completely _in love _with a person, she had slipped away… Fallen right out of his grasp… And no matter how hard he tried, he could not reach her… He could not get her back… And before he knew it, she was gone… Gone forever…

…Gone…

_……Rinoa……_

…And yet… Wasn't life all about risks? Hadn't she taught him that? Hadn't she taught him that to hide himself away from the world, so that he couldn't get hurt, was not living? That to give into his feelings, to express himself, to let others into his heart, was to know what life was all about? And hadn't she taught him that even if he did get hurt, there would always be someone else to be there for him? That whatever deity he believed in was on his side?

Could he do it again? He had let himself "love" Sora, but not really. He had still held back. But could he let himself go again? Could he let himself fall again? Could he let himself be with Cloud, love Cloud, even if there was the risk that something terrible could happen?

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes… I love you…"

Cloud crushed Leon into a tight embrace, into a bruising, passionate kiss.

And it felt so good.

--------

"RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKUUUUUUUU!" Sora called, feeling helpless, walking wearily along. His heart was so tired… If he could just give in…

No!

Sora shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, and grasped over his heart. After reassuring himself that he was okay, that he could do this, that all hope was not lost, he continued on with his searching.

"RRRRRIIIIIKKKKKKUUUUUU!"

_What do you want?_

Riku!

Trying to contain his excitement, his relief, Sora whirled, but faced only the darkness. "…Riku?"

_What?_

"Riku… Where are you?"

_I'm right behind you._

Sora whirled again, this time to come face to face with his best friend, his lover. He was so relieved that he ran forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Riku, who stiffened at the touch, but Sora didn't care. And before he knew it, he was sobbing.

"Riku… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

"…Why did you do it?"

Riku faded from Sora's grasp, causing the younger teenager to stumble forward, confused at the sudden loss. He grasped at thin air, staring numbly, then hurriedly straightened, turning once more to see Riku some few feet behind him.

"…Riku…"

"_Why _did you _do it_?" Riku hissed, aqua green eyes flashing with hurt, with unmistakable, indescribable pain.

"…Riku… I…"

"If you can't even tell me a good reason why, I'm leaving." He started to fade again.

"Riku, wait!" Sora sobbed. "Just wait! _Listen to me_!"

Riku was silent, face expressionless.

"I don't know what…to say to you…that I haven't already said…" Sora sobbed, tears streaming freely down his cheeks, reaching out a hand to Riku, but he didn't come any closer to the older boy in fear of him leaving again. "I'm _sorry_. It was a mistake. A _mistake_. I don't know _why _I did. I told you—I was so _confused_. But… But, Riku… I'm not confused anymore… I know what I want… What I really, _truly _want… I want _you_, Riku…"

"If you wanted me, you wouldn't have done it."

"Am I not allowed to be confused!? Am I not allowed to be given time to decide things!?" Sora was suddenly angry at Riku's stubbornness. Why couldn't he understand!? "You just brought yourself back into my life, Riku! I thought I was in love with Leon at the time! And then you come back, and I realize that I love you, but I'm torn between the two of you! I don't know _what _to do! Who to pick, who do I really love the most!? And you never helped me, because you only wanted me to _yourself_! You never let me choose fairly! You were _suffocating _me!" Sora screamed. "How am I supposed to be true to myself when I'm too afraid I'm gonna lose you!? Is it really fair to you that I have to lie to myself, and lie to everyone, and just _lie_!?"

Riku looked away. "…If I was suffocating you… Why were you with me?"

"Because I _love _you, Riku! I _love you_! And only you! And I only just really, _really _figured that out! Now that I've had time to think things through, to really understand how I feel about you! And if…you leave me now…and don't accept me now… Then fine… Don't… But I love you, Riku… I really, truly, _love you_. I want you… I love you so much… Please don't leave me…" Sora collapsed to his knees, tears shining in his eyes, trickling down his cheeks again and following the path of the old ones. "…Riku… I need you… You're my Light, you're my Darkness, you're my everything…"

Riku's expression remained blank.

Sora let out a long mewl, choked on a sob, and buried his face in his hands.

"…Sora…"

Sora didn't have the strength to look up. If he was going to be rejected, then Riku would just have to speak to his hands. He…didn't have the courage to look into Riku's eyes when he told him that he couldn't forgive him…

"Sora…" Warm hands gripped his shoulders, squeezing reassuringly like all those years ago. "Sora, look at me…"

Sora shook his head.

Riku gently grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his face, and stared into his eyes. Sora sniffled, body trembling, and Riku smiled very softly, very gently.

"I…understand. And I'm sorry for causing you this much pain." Tears now shined in Riku's eyes. "Can you forgive _me_?"

Sora nodded his head rapidly, daring to believe his ears. "Yes. Do you forgive _me_?"

"Yes."

Their kiss was bittersweet, filled with tears and healing wounds and renewed hope. They clung to each other tightly, afraid to let the other go, as if they would fade away into the darkness, and that couldn't happen. They wouldn't let it. Never again.

"I'm sorry, Riku, I'm _so sorry_," Sora whispered.

"I am, too, Sora." Riku kissed him tenderly. "I love you."

Sora's eyes shined with happiness. He beamed a bright smile. "I love you, too, Riiikuuu."

Abruptly, everything was plunged into darkness, so black they couldn't even see one another. They grasped onto each other's hands tightly, letting out startled yelps, looking wildly about.

"Riku!?"

"I'm here. I'm right here, Sora." Warm arms wrapped around him, pulling him against Riku's body. Sora clung to him tightly, desperately.

"What's going on…?" Sora whimpered.

"I don't know… Stay close to me." Riku stood, taking Sora with him, then grasped his hand and began to walk.

Sora clung to his hand tightly, wrapping himself around Riku's arm. "Where are we going?"

"…I really don't know, Sora…" Riku murmured. "But I'm gonna get us out of here, okay?"

"O-Okay. Hey, wait a minute, Riku… I have an idea…"

"Okay, what is it?"

Sora closed his eyes, reaching out with his free hand, and concentrated. His brows furrowed, his body hummed with inner warmth, with his innate power, his senses, his mind, called out for one thing, and one thing only.

Its warmth filled his hand a moment later, and Sora grasped his Keyblade tightly, opening his eyes, then blinking rapidly against the bright light.

Sora beamed a smile at Riku. "We can get out with this, Riku!"

Riku grinned, then kissed him with a loud smack. "Good thinking, Sora!"

Sora beamed with pride, then sobered, closing his eyes and concentrating again. Holding onto Riku tightly, he whispered, "Keyblade… Lead us out of here…"

Sora opened his eyes again to see a beam of light shoot out from the tip of Ultima Weapon and cut through the darkness. Their path was set.

The two lovers looked at one another, then nodded. It was time to go back home.


	10. I'll Race You

****

Disclaimer: I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_, nor am I making any money off this fanfiction.

--------

****

Author's Notes…

Holy … Here's the last chapter. Oh, my God, I want to cry. We've come so far! And now… It ends… Well, all stories have to come to an end eventually, right? And it's time for this one to reach that star up in the sky.

…Heh. As if _that _didn't sound completely corny.

I'd like to thank everyone… Everyone who has ever read and reviewed _Behind Closed Doors_. Even if you _didn't _review, I want to thank you.

****

Thank you guys so much!

Alright. Here it is. The epilogue.

Enjoy.

--------

****

Behind Closed Doors

Epilogue

"Oh… God… Our _bed_!" Riku exclaimed dramatically and then promptly threw himself down on it, burying his face in a pillow and letting his eyes close, heavy as they were. He breathed in the heady scent of Sora, and it rushed through him, warming his body and lulling him with a soft lullaby to sleep. He gladly let unconsciousness take him away, riding on silver-lined clouds and Sora's soft smile.

Sora's smile grew faint as he watched Riku's body completely relax, and moments later soft snoring reached his ears. He eyed the silver-haired teen a moment longer, then looked down at the Keyblade thrumming with _warmth _and _light _in his hand.

"…Thank you," he whispered. "You've done so much for me. Helped me lock words… Defeat Heartless… Saved my life countless times… And now my heart…"

Letting his eyes flutter closed, he brought the tip of his Keyblade to his forehead, hugging it gingerly to his chest, then murmured a soft prayer and let it fade away in glittering sparkles of light.

"Riku, we're back in Traverse Town," he whispered, sitting down on the side of the bed and reaching out, running his fingers lightly through Riku's soft, silky hair. "After that long…_long _journey through your heart… I'm so glad we made it out…"

His smile was tender and fragile as he leaned over and brushed his lips along Riku's brow. Riku hummed softly in his sleep, mouth curving into a warm smile.

"Sora…"

"Ri-ku…" Continuing to stroke Riku's hair, Sora idly looked around the room, body tired, mind slowly growing numb from lack of sleep, but his heart was pulsing, pounding in his chest, warm with his Light.

…He finally had Riku back…

Feeling his eyes burn, Sora blinked the tears away, then frowned a little, brows furrowing thoughtfully as his eyes caught sight of his desk. He hesitated, wondering, then looked back to Riku. He was sleeping soundly, expression peaceful, and Sora placed a light kiss on his forehead before carefully getting up so he wouldn't disturb Riku's slumber.

Attention returning to his desk, Sora crept over to it, switching on his lamp and looking for paper and a pen. Once the items were found, he grinned, sitting down to write.

_We're going home at last, Riku_, he thought.

--------

No one could quite say what had happened. One moment Sora had been in his room, depression eating away at his heart, killing his soul, and then suddenly he was gone. Traverse Town had been searched up and down, every nook and cranny inspected, but in the end he was nowhere to be found. It was as if he had just…disappeared.

Only one person knew the truth.

After the room Sora had occupied for the past three years had been thoroughly inspected and finally left alone, he had crept into it silently, fingertips sliding along the doorframe, the dresser, the wall, eyes flicking over the little trinkets here and there. The rumpled bed. The closet. The bathroom door ajar. The sheets lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. The pillows tossed in several different directions, only a lone one resting peacefully on the bed. The open window, a cool breeze rustling the draperies, sighing softly.

The letter on the desk.

Had it been that easy to miss? Or had it been there, waiting only for him? Had no one else been able to see it? Whatever the case may be, it did not matter, for the contents of the letter were for his eyes only.

Brows furrowing curiously, he had sat down gingerly on the bed, thumb moving beneath the wax seal to break it, and slowly unfolded the letter. Eyeing it hesitantly, he began to read.

_-Leon,_

Hey…-

And he had come back to his lover's house, walking into his room and eyeing him sadly. His lover tilted his head to the side, blue eyes bright with concern, mouth opening, lips forming the words to the question of what was wrong.

He hadn't been able to answer.

_-…Wow, it's really been a long journey, huh? Three years… Three years with you by my side—in a way. I always admired you, Leon. And I don't care what people say, because I know that you were _always _there for me. You just showed it in your own way. And that's okay. Because I understood. I always understood. No explanation was needed.-_

He could only hear laughter, loud and melodious or soft and gentle. He could only see bright, sapphire blue eyes glittering with happiness as they looked at him fondly. He could only _feel _the touch of tanned, slender hands cupping his cheeks as eyes gazed into his imploringly, and after a moment, a hesitant smile touched petal pink lips.

_-It's amazing… How far we've come… I've done some stupid things, said some stupid things, was stupid in general, but… you know what? Heh… Even though I acted like a complete idiot, and you gave me your usual "Whatever", I was still happy to see that brief smile cross your lips, and it made me so _happy_.-_

Leon smiled faintly. "I guess that's what I am, isn't it?" He glanced at Sora, then moved over to him, giving his hair a rustle. "Well, let me be the jackass is what I'm trying to say. I don't like it when you are…" He sighed. "You're supposed to be happy and carefree. A little runt who somehow wound up wielding the Keyblade."

Sora pouted a little. "It's not my fault…"

"I know." Leon waved a hand. "I know… Look at me. I'm getting sappy."

-I know… that when Riku came back… I… forgot about you… I pushed you away when you were just beginning to open up to me, and that wasn't fair, was it? But it happened, and I can't take it back, because I can't change time. Funny, isn't it? I can save worlds and be people's hope and their Light, but in the end, I can't even fix my own problems. Well, I'm fixing them now. And I'm going to start with an apology.

-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything_.-_

Sora smiled to himself, lowering his book a little, swallowed the piece of apple in his mouth before saying cheerfully, "Well…The snow is like you—cold, callous, uncaring, killing everything in its path. What seems gentle is only a deception—the snow is being gentle with its surroundings, caressing, but is slowly killing everything in a very subtle way. And the stars—well, you're just so distant and far away…You shine…Squall…But just when I think you're within my grasp, you're not."

-I know that I caused you a lot of pain. But…! Hmm…

-When I first wound up in this town three years ago, you scared the crap out of me. But you were so sexy_—even _if _I was in denial about my sexuality back then. Heehee. And yeah—your welcoming wasn't grand. In fact, I wouldn't even call it a _welcome_… But… Anyway._

-This next time when I came back… After Kingdom Hearts was sealed, and Riku was locked away within it… And I was so depressed… Remember that I would have nightmares, waking up screaming? But you—you were always there, holding me and telling me that it was just a stupid dream, that it wasn't real.

-I think that's when I fell in love with you. When you told me that everything was okay. And Leon… It was… It really was…-

Leon was dressed only in his leather pants this morning, pretty much leaving his finely chiseled chest and dark, shaggy hair in full view. He was barefoot, and his stormy gray eyes were a bit glazed, as if he was still tired from waking up at the crack of what would be considered dawn in Traverse Town.

He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes focusing on Sora. They grew more alert at the sight of the half-asleep boy, looking lost and puzzled. He sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "Are you okay?" he asked in his usual, deep monotone voice. "What's going on? I think it's hardly necessary to be up at this time of the morning… Haven't we gone through this before?"

-Yeah, yeah, and you're probably being skeptical right now. What? That little runt with the Keyblade, love me_? Ha!_

-You're smiling right now, aren't you? You better be! And if you're not… Do so. Do it for me.

-Well… I'm starting to ramble… Argh… Typical, right? You used to always tell me that my babbling could make Hades rethink his evil wanna-be-reign just to get me to shut up. And I'd pout and get huffy, but… I secretly enjoyed your teasing. You teased me a lot. In your own way. And I loved _it. That makes me a masochist, doesn't it? Sigh.-_

"Yo," he said playfully. "You're looking a bit down, Leon, you all right?"

Leon glared for a few moments more, then took some water, splashing Sora back.

"Hey!" Sora cried, raising his arm to defend most of it, but the big slosh soaked his hair. "Unfair!"

Leon merely grunted. "Wash. Don't play. This isn't supposed to be playtime."

Sora stuck his tongue out. But this only caused Leon to raise an eyebrow, eyes intense, and cock his head a little to the side again with a suggestive, knowing look. Sora blushed and quickly did as Leon had told him. Leon watched him a few moments more, then smiled faintly, going back to drying.

-I'm so sorry…that I loved Riku more than I loved you. It wasn't fair, I know. But if I've learnt anything it's that life isn't fair and there's nothing that you can do about it. So I'm just gonna be happy with the moments that we had. That's okay, right? Cherishing memories?-

Leon stood, placing a hand over Sora's and wrapping an arm snugly around his waist. He yanked the boy up into his arms, setting him on the counter to where he didn't have to hurt his back—as Sora was shorter than him—and began nibbling on Sora's neck instead. "So it did." He glanced up momentarily. "Any objections?"

Sora shook his head. "N-No…"

"You know…" Leon trailed his nose up to Sora's jaw. "You never did answer me."

-I'm glad that you found happiness with Cloud. It warms my heart to know that someone can you love more than I can and make you feel better when you're down, even if you don't want the affection—or at least you pretend that you don't. Knowing you, you secretly love _affection. I wouldn't be surprised. …Okay, so maybe I would, but that's not the point!-_

_"Yes."_

"Yes, what?"

"Yes… I will love you…"

Cloud crushed Leon into a tight embrace, into a bruising, passionate kiss.

And it felt so good.

_-The point is that I should get to the _point _of this letter. Now that I'm done apologizing—I hope that you can forgive me—I just want to let you know not to fret—like you'd be obvious about that, right? Heehee—because Riku and I are at "home" now. That's right. "Home". So don't worry, Leon. We're safe and sound.-_

Leon watched him for a few moments, then shook his head, rolling his eyes. "That was more information than I needed, Sora… Anyway, it's not giving you any trouble, is it?"

Sora thought about that for a few moments, then shook his head, unruly hair swishing back and forth before settling again. His grin turned wolfish. "Why…Squall? You scared?"

"No. I'm not really scared of anything."

-And thank you…

-…Thank you for **everything**…-

Leon couldn't remember the last time he had cried. It had been so long, and so the sting of tears at the back of his eyes was entirely unfamiliar. And as Cloud drew Leon into his arms, whispering that it was okay, whatever was wrong, Leon clutched at him and choked on a small sob, vision blurring. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears, but two trailed down his cheeks, anyway.

_…Sora…_

--------

Seagulls calling out to one another…

…The smell of salt on the air…

Soft sand…

…Bright blue sky…

Burning sun…

…Palm trees standing tall…

Whispers of the wind…

…Soft rush of water…

… … Crashing onto the shore … …

… … … And laughter filling the air … … …

"Riku! Ri-ku! We're home! We're _home_, Ri-ku!"

"Yeah… We're _home_…"

Smiling faintly, Riku slowly got to his feet, never minding the sand clinging to his skin, nor the sun shining brightly in his eyes. Instead he grinned and turned to Sora, holding out his hand.

"I'll race you."

Sora smiled and took Riku's hand, squeezing it tightly, reassuringly. "You're on."

Laughing, the two started off, feet sending sand flying up around them. Their laughter filled the calm air, echoed, and moments later as they rounded the corner to the dock, four teenagers looked up in surprise.

And began to cry with a mixture of shock and pure happiness.

Riku and Sora rushed over to them, panting, gasping for air, but their grins never wavered.

They were _home_.

Home at last.

-The End-


End file.
